


This is the beginning

by TheArtificialDane



Series: The Brightest Timeline [1]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drag Queens, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2020-11-26 20:22:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20936189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArtificialDane/pseuds/TheArtificialDane
Summary: The story of how Brooke and Vanjie got together during season 11 of RuPaul's Drag Race.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @Thankyoumissvanjie for the genius title

Vanjie felt high, Ru’s laugh chasing after her as she left the set, ‘Chil’ why’d I do the prostitution route’ sailing behind her. 

She had just finished taking her pictures, Farrah’s moans and groans still in her ears, but she honestly hadn’t cared about the other queens comfort, doing well the most important thing to her in the moment. 

She felt good about the pictures, and knew without doubt that she looked fucking pussy in them.

Everyone was eating lunch all dressed up in their drag, the queens getting picked off one after the other to go get their photo taken, some of them casually sweating a small river, while others looked perfectly content. 

Vanjie looked around the room, trying to decide where to sit, when she spotted Brooke who was sitting alone, since Nina was shooting. The two of them had been practically glued together, Vanjie not knowing that they were apparently old friends. 

She had wanted to say hi, wanted to actually talk to Brooke, had wanted it since she arrived, but Nina had snatched her right up, not leaving an inch of space Vanjie could worm her way into.

Vanjie grabbed a salad, the mixed veggies the most appeticing thing on the table, her fingers tapping on the plastic as she puffed up her chest, collected her courage and made her way over.

“Howdy Ranger.” Vanjie smiled, cranking her charm up to 11. Brooke looked up, her red lip still perfectly in place, even though she was making her way through a coleslaw.

“What?” 

Brooke pulled a bit of her wig hair behind her ear, the platinum blonde looking absolutely correct. 

“What did you just say?” She continued, her eyes sparkling with a strange amusement.

“Ain’t you dressed like a Canadian cowboy?” Vanjie pointed at the hat Brooke had put down on the table.

“A Canadian cowboy? What’s a-” Brooke’s lips were twisted in a smile as she looked down at the hat, and then herself, her face suddenly breaking into understanding. “Oh. You mean my mountie?”

“I didn’t ask no damned questions about your dick, Miss Brooke Lynn.” Though Vanjie wouldn’t complain at all if Brooke wanted to show off her mountie, her eyes briefly flickering to the completely smooth barbie crutch Brooke was rocking since she was in drag.

“No, no not that kind of-” Brooke laughed, her hand flying up to cover her mouth, a bit of cabbage still in here. 

“I’m not a cowboy, I’m a mountie. A part of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.” Brooke swallowed. “It’s a police uniform.”

“Shit…” Vanjie stared at Brooke, her cheeks growing hotter and hotter until they were flaming, the only thing saving her from total humiliation, the inches of thick foundation covering her face. She was saved by the bell when Silky stormed into the room, everyone's attention turning to the loud queen, Vanjie using it as her chance to escape, not even noticing that Brooke was looking for her after she disappeared.

///

De-dragging for the first time in the workroom, actually doing it all a second time, was a strange experience. Vanjie rubbed at the pounds of glitter that she had poured over herself with a makeup wipe, trying to get it all off, even though she was failing, the glitter sticking to her skin like a bitch.

Vanjie knew a few of the girls already, Honey a New York legend, Ariel someone she followed on Instagram, Nina basically the beating heart of Columbus and then there was Brooke. 

Vanjie watched as Brooke did his jeans up, his green shirt hanging open and showing off his chest. Brooke and Soju were laughing together, Soju attempting to jump on Brooke’s hip like Ongina had apparently done, and Vanjie wished he was the one who was joking around.

Brooke looked just as hot as Vanjie remembered him from Instagram, Brooke’s profile one of the few he cycled between when he was single and needed something to fantasise about. It was the perfect thirst trap, stunning drag and mouth watering abs all on display, and it didn’t help the fantasties that Brooke even commented on Vanjie’s stuff if he had put up a really good drag outfit.

Vanjie grabbed his leather jacket, swinging it over his shoulders, his outfit of black on black making him look every bit the trade he knew he was, boosting his confidence as he stomped in line.

///

“Yo!” Vanjie yelled, looking around as everyone was making their way to their tables, carrying or dragging their trunks along, but in Vanjie’s case, he couldn’t even move it. 

“Pit Crew! Someone?!” Vanjie tried lifting Valentina’s trunk once more, but it was too heavy. 

“Anybody gonna help a bitch out?!” Vanjie felt like he was about to pop a lung, chaos cruising around his brain as scenarios of not even finishing a garment that the judges could critique tried to overtake him. 

Arms clad in green fabric shot by Vanjie’s head, big hands grabbing the black trunk. “I got you.”

Vanjie looked up, Brooke effectively boxing him in as he lifted the trunk up, a smile on his face as he easily carried it away, Vanjie once again nailed to the spot, wondering how it would feel to be carried off so easily by those big strong arms. 

Vanjie hit his cheek with his own hand, Shuga gasping as he saw the slap, but Vanjie wasn’t going to let anyone distract him, even if he had to slap some god damned sense into his own goddamn self.

///

Dumping down on the couch in Untucked felt like total europheria. Vanjie wasn’t a 1000% sure she’d make it to the next episode, but as she looked around, as she had listened to the judges critiques, she felt more than sure that Soju, Mercedes and Kahanna had done worse than her.

Vanjie took a big sip of her cocktail, everyone talking and bibbing and bobbing around them, Vanjie not even caring when Scarlett had come for her.

///

“How are you feeling?” 

Vanjie turned around, the voice a surprise to her as she thought she was one of the only ones who could actually go to the bathroom. Vanjie saw Brooke stand there, looking like a giant superhero, even though she wasn’t wearing her heels, the other queen smelling faintly like cigarettes.

“Me?” Vanjie pointed at herself. “You said you thought I done did well?”

“I’m not talking about the bottom,” Brooke chuckled. “but it is very lovely.” Brooke looked at Vanjie’s body, a smile playing on her lips. 

“I’m asking how you’re feeling about being back.”

Brooke leaned against the wall, Vanjie feeling weird about the fact that she was literally holding the door to the toilet, Brooke of course catching her at the worst possible time.

“I know you just spoke to all of us about it, but-” Brooke shrugged. “I still think it’s unfair that you went home first, and I’m happy that you’re here.”

Vanjie blushed, her entire body feeling like it was melting. She still remembered when she had gotten the message from Brooke, Brooke reaching out to her on Facebook. She had received the message the minute she got kicked off, the idea that Brooke had watched humiliatingly embarrassing. She had clung to the message before Miss Vanjie had gone viral, the praise she had gotten actually truly and deeply meaning something to her, since it had come from Brooke.

She had watched her in pageants, had seen what she could do, and Vanjie knew just how rarely Brooke was impressed, her praise rare and therefor all the more heartfelt when it actually arrived.

“I’m good.” Vanjie smiled, her leg jittering with her need to pee, but she was actually talking to Brooke, the two of them sharing a conversation like totally normal people. “It real sweet of you to ask.”

“I’ve been known to be sweet occasionally.” Brooke smiled back.

“I think you’re gonna win.”

“I better.” Brooke looked down, smoothing a hand over the latex she was wearing. “This is a thousand degrees.”

Vanjie laughed, a joke about how Brooke always looked hot on the tip of her tongue, when she felt a stab to her stomach. “Shit.” Vanjie jumped from one leg to the other, biting her lip.

“What’s wrong?”

“I gotta pee.”

“Wha-” Brooke looked around, her eyes falling on door Vanjie was clinging to. “Oh fuck.” Brooke held her hand over her mouth. “I didn’t realise, go, go go go go.”

“I better, unless I wanna wet myself in front of the judges.” Vanjie cringed at her choice of words, but Brooke just snorted.

“Have fun.” Brooke smirked, waving as she walked away.

///

“Yes bitch!” Vanjie laughed, snapping her fingers as Brooke danced in front of the mirror, her boy hair sticking out. Brooke was shining like a sun, clearly so happy and proud with her win, and Vanjie couldn’t hold it against her at all.

Vanjie took her earrings out, her station her little safe place, as she remembered back, the fact that she had screamed for Brooke to take her with her on the trip to Paris not nearly as embarrassing as it would have been before their little bathroom run in. It had been wonderful to shoot the shit with everyone gathered, Brooke’s smile as they praised her burned into Vanjie’s mind. 

She dedragged, actually getting past the first episode lifting a crushing weight from her shoulders, Vanjie breathing a little easier than she ever had on season 10.

///

“So you’re not much of a Miley fan?” 

Vanjie looked up, worried that his neck muscles would potentially snap from how much he had done it during the last 24 hours. It would absolutely be worth it, though, just to watch Brooke who came walking towards him, the tall man bending slightly as the van wasn’t tall enough for him to stand upright.

Vanjie had made a beeline for the van, claiming the backseat before anyone else had even made it out onto the parking lot, and he felt so happy with his choice as Brooke dumped down next to him.

“Why you asking about that Miss Nerves?”

Brooke smirked, raising an eyebrow as he looked over at Vanjie. “Was it that obvious?”

Vanjie snorted, the fact that Brooke allowed him to call him out on his lie not what he had expected. “You ain’t no fucking actor that’s for sure.” He would never have brought it up in the workroom, but the presumed privacy of an empty van gave him the courage to poke fun at the tall blonde that was sitting next to him.

Vanjie had clocked Brooke the moment he had started rambling about being nervous, Miley clearly eating it all up, but Vanjie hadn’t bought it for a second. 

“Like any bitchs as badass as you would feel nervous about a stupid ass runway.”

Vanjie had seen Brooke place as second runner up on Miss Continental, had watched with her own eyes how Brooke had come in completely unknown and slaid the competition. He had watched some of Brooke’s ballet performances, had stalked Brock Hayhoe more than he was proud of, what the other queen could do with his body truly impressive.

“Seems like you clocked me.” Brooke smiled, leaning back in the seat.

“Here.” Brooke handed Vanjie one of the burritos he was holding, Vanjie briefly wondering when he came in the van why he was carrying two. “Noticed you didn’t get one.”

Vanjie felt that warmth rush over him again, Brooke somehow noticing that he had opted to skip dinner, and instead go straight for the parking lot. He had taken one look at the catering table, turning his nose up at everything, none of it looking appetizing.

“I figured you didn’t wanted to fight big Silks.”

“Bitch I could take her any day.” Vanjie laughed, Brooke holding the burrito forward again, and Vanjie took it.

“Umh…” Vanjie transferred the warm meal from one hand to the other, for a moment considering if not eating meat would actually be worth turning down Brooke’s gesture, but his stomach churned at the thought. “I’ma actually a vegetarian.”

“Shit.” Vanjie could see Brooke physically cringe, his head pulling back a little, his mouth turning downwards, and Vanjie wanted to wipe it off his face.

“I didn’t know.” Brooke looked at Vanjie, genuine regret in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“You good Mami.” Vanjie dumped the burrito on the seat next to him, not wanting to cause anymore of a scene, but when he turned his attention back to Brooke, it seemed like he had managed it anyway.

“Mami?” Brooke smirked, his entire face filled with glee. “Did you just call me Mami?”

“That a problem?” Vanjie bristled, his fight or flight instinct immediately activated, but Brooke just reached out, gently squeezing his arm.

“Not at all Papi.”

Vanjie laughed, Brooke giving as good as he got, the spanish flair sounding strange from Brooke’s extremely white lips, but it was nice to speak to someone who so happily pushed back against his bullshit. 

Brooke unpacked his burrito, and as the van slowly filled up, Vanjie watched how Brooke spread his legs out, sitting like the caricature of a dude, taking up space like he deserved it, the van pulling out with Vanjie once again boxed in by Brooke, and he loved every second of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Vanjie watched himself in the mirror, his outfit of the day his favorite big white fur, a white tank top and white jeans. He had dusted himself in a light layer of bronzer, his lips shining with balm. He was styling his hair with gel, humming to himself.

He wasn’t even aware that he wasn’t just preparing for a day in front of the cameras, wasn’t just making sure that he’d look good for America. Vanjie was preparing with the thought of one special man, the memory of a knee knocking against his and blue eyes playing in the back of his mind as he doused himself in cologne.

///

“Vanjie, who’d you do?” Ra’jah looked up at Vanjie.

“Oh no ho I ain’t playing!” Vanjie laughed, holding up his hands. He was standing on his chair, Nina moving at some point, Vanjie painfully aware of Brooke next to him, the man wearing a denim jumpsuit and a black cap. “They filming everything up in this bitch!”

The game moved on, everything nearly puking from laughter as Ariel said her three.

“You’re just ashamed to admit you’d kill Silky too.” 

The voice was low and warm, whispered to him, and Vanjie’s head snapped over, Brooke looking directly at him, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Fuck no.” Vanjie smiled. “Silks is hilarious.”

“So you’d marry her? You’d have a lifetime of veggie chicken ahead.”

“You playing.” Vanjie felt the blush from yesterday rise in his cheeks, his tongue doubling in size. Brooke remembered that he was a vegetarian, and it knocked Vanjie out completely.

“I’d need me a chill ass man for marriage.” Vanjie looked at Brooke, “Someone who can handle my bullshit.”

“I’m sure anyone would be happy to handle your bullshit.”

Vanjie wanted to say more, but he was interrupted when Silky cut Ariel down, the entire table breaking into laughter, the sound of the RuMail filling the room, and Vanjie grabbed Brooke’s shoulder before he jumped down, suddenly very aware of how small he was next to Brooke.

///

  
  


Vanjie came back from washing his hands, A’keria following right behind him. Vanjie wasn’t sure how it had started, but A’keria had told a story about his nephew, Vanjie babbling all excitedly about Riley, the two of them becoming best friends on their trip to the bathroom as they chatted back and forth.

Vanjie looked around the Werq Room, catering setting everything up for lunch, the menu of the day tomato soup and grilled cheeses. Vanjie grabbed a bowl, stacking four cheeses on top of each other since he knew he wasn’t really going to eat the soup. He was balancing it all, looking for a place to sit, when he saw Brooke a little to the side, the man eating with his script in hand.

“Hey.”

Vanjie didn’t even realise he had opened his mouth, before Brooke looked up.

“Hey.”

“You reading your script?”

Brooke nodded, the man sweeping the table free of the wigs and the clutter, and Vanjie sat down, not really feeling like he had a choice not to.

“Someone thought it’d be a smart move to make me the lead role.”

Vanjie looked at Brooke, “Ain’t you the team captain of Drakanda?” Vanjie raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t say I made a smart choice.” Brooke smiled. “There are so many lines.”

“Chil’, at least you know what yours say.” Vanjie took his script from his back pocket, putting it out on the table. “I ain’t getting shit from mine. What the fuck does-” Vanjie flipped to his second set of line. “Hetronormantive-”

Brooke snorted, his hand flying to his mouth. “What?”

“Hetronnormantive. It says it right here.”

“Do you mean heteronormative?” Brooke leaned over Vanjie, grabbing his script, pulling their chairs together, and Vanjie felt embarrassment curl in his stomach.

“If you so clever,” Vanjie snapped, “the fuck does it mean then?”

“That our society sees being straight as what’s normal.” Brooke took his own pen, writing ‘he-te-ro-nor-ma-ti-ve’ at the top.

“Shit. It really that simple?” Vanjie bit his lip. 

“It’s hard being a genius.” Brooke smirked.

“So you a genius now?” Vanjie raised an eyebrow.

“Of course.” Brooke put a hand on Vanjie’s leg. “Actually? I’m just fucking with you.” Brooke squeezed Vanjie’s thigh, letting go to return to his soup. “I only know it because I performed at a fundraiser for Nina once.”

“You and Nina seem real close.” Vanjie returned to his own food as well, his knee practically burning.

“I’m really glad she’s here.” Brooke nodded. “It’s nice to see familiar faces.”

///

“I don’t care if it was inflated to the size of Guantanamo Bay, bitch you don’t say cyst when Mama Ru is in your presence!”

Vanjie watched as Jacqueline cracked up, the gorgeous black woman who was sitting beside the camera hiccuping, tears falling from her eyes.

“Stop, stop stop stop stop!”

Vanjie smiled, beaming with pride at the thought that he had utterly broken Jacqueline, the producer one of his favorite experiences from the last time he was on Drag Race.

“You asked me to comment Mama, and you getting those comments.” Vanjie grabs his redbull, Jacqueline once again being a true bro, smuggling the go go juice in for him.

“Oh god.” Jacqueline wiped her eyes, removing her tears. “You’re going to absolutely kill me.”

Vanjie smirked, sipping on his straw, eyeing the camera, his brow wiggling, serving all the face he hoped they’d cut in whenever it was needed.

“Okay, so, next question.” Jacqueline looked down at her writing pad. “Have you found anyone attractive yet?”

“What?” Vanjie froze, a blush rising in his cheeks. “No.”

“I’m not saying you’re lying.” Jacqueline watched him, “but everything about you says you are.”

“Umh…” Vanjie bounced his leg. “I mean, there are some-”

“What about yesterday.” Jacqueline leaned back in her chair. “When you dedragged, did anyone look good?”

“Brooke is kinda hot?” Vanjie had expected to it to feel horrible, but instead, he felt a rush of pure relief, saying the words actually feeling absolutely amazing.

“Just kinda hot?” Jacqueline smiled. “Is that your final answer?” Jacqueline tapped her pen against her papers. “Where is that Vanjie charm?”

“Oh you want the Vanjie experience?” Vanjie huffed up his chest.

“I don’t just want it. I need it.” Jacqueline smirked, and Vanjie felt fireworks go off, a giant smile on his lips as he launched into one of his famous speeches.

“Okay so - I’m standing in the corner, peeping Tom teese watching Miss Brooke get out of drag y’all-”

///

It was a truth universally acknowledged that where queens gathered, drama soon followed.

Vanjie was incredibly happy that he had chosen to do his makeup away from everyone else, he and Scarlett sitting side by side, actually doing a challenge with the other queen causing her to be a whole lot less annoying than Vanjie had originally found her.

“Oh, so you’re attacking my makeup?!”

Vanjie and Scarlett looked up at the same time, Ra’jah officially popping off, but Vanjie wasn’t watching their drama at all, Brooke practically throwing his makeup brush down as it exploded.

“Fuck this.” Vanjie could barely hear Brooke over the arguing, but he had no idea when or how Brooke had managed to get in full face, the other queen practically finished except for lip. He saw Brooke touch Nina’s arm, mouthing that he was going for a smoke, Vanjie not even noticing that the argument was still going as he watched Brooke walk away.

///

“Hey, Vanjie?”

Vanjie was chugging her drink, her skull feeling like it was breaking in half from a splitting headache, the weight from her headpiece pretty much hell, the red devil laying next to her.

“Hmm?” Vanjie looked up and over, just to see Brooke who was trying to reach her zipper. 

“Can you help me?” Brooke smiled a little, an apologetic look on her face, and Vanjie jumped up.

“Sure Mami.” Vanjie grabbed Brooke’s zipper, sliding it down, the little metal hard to grab with her gloves on.

“Thanks Papi.” Brooke teased, and Vanjie realised she was wearing one of the headphones, Brooke apparently listening to the music.

“You think you’re gonna lip sync?”

Vanjie looked at Brooke, who stepped out of her dress, a beige slip on dress and a corset the only thing she was wearing.

“You were there too.” Brooke reached up, moving her headphones slightly. “You saw the videos.”

“You weren’t the worst.”

“But I was definitely not the best either.” Brooke smiled, a strange, sad expression on her face. “Going in, I knew I wasn’t an actor but…” Brooke sighed. “I guess it just sucks to be confronted with how not funny I am.”

“I find you pretty fun.” Vanjie said, the words falling from her lips before she could stop them. Brooke wasn’t traditionally slapstick hilarious, but she had a dry humor that Vanjie really enjoyed. 

“Says the funniest girl in the house.” Brooke smirked, the two of them standing together in the back of the room, the camera caught up in the controversies that were happening on the couch. “I’m pretty sure Ross nearly died watching you, if the rumors are true.”

Vanjie beamed, her chest filled with pride at Brooke’s praise. “A bitch has been known to be hilarious.”

Brooke nodded, the sad expression back on her face, and Vanjie reached out, gently touching her arm. 

“You’ll be fine.” It was the first time she touched Brooke first, the first time she had initiated the contact between them, and it felt perfectly right. “I know you will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter, but now that episode two is over, we're moving to where it really takes off. We're heading for Diva Worship, and our very first public Drag Race kiss!


	3. Chapter 3

_ “God is good” _

Vanjie released a breath she didn’t even realise she had been holding, as Brooke walked over to be a part of their team. Vanjie had been ecstatic when she had been picked, not only because she was picked as number five out of the entire pack, but mostly because Nina was the team captain, and everyone and their mother knew of the tight ship Nina ran in Columbus when it came to production.

Brooke stopped, slipping into line next to Vanjie, Ra’Jah picking Plastique for her team, but all Vanjie could feel was the looming presence of Brooke to her side.

“Nice brows.” Vanjie barely heard the whisper, Brooke smiling to herself when she looked up. Her voice was warm, the other clearly teasing her. Vanjie had drawn her brows a whole lot thicker and wilder than she would ever normally wear, so she did understand, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to give as good as she got.

“Nice beard.” Vanjie shot back, grey more than clear through Brooke’s foundation. 

Brooke paused for a second, Vanjie fearing she had overstepped something, the fun and easy nature between them broken as Mercedes walked towards their group, but instead of getting mad or offended, Brooke just laughed, her hand touching Vanjie’s elbow.

///

“Okay, so.” Nina looked around. “Is everybody happy with their roles?” 

The group nodded, and Vanjie did too, the fact that he had gotten the role of the converter almost as pleasing as the fact that he knew he looked damned cute in his baby pink tracksuit. 

“Vanj,” Nina pointed at him. “Go get with Mercedes and Yvie.”

“Yes ma’am!” Vanjie did a salute before he stood up, delight curling in his belly. In any other circumstances, he would have taken the long way, walking around the little plush pink table that was the center of the couche island they were gathered at. 

Instead, Vanjie made his way around the inside, touching Nina’s knees as he shuffled past, but what really mattered, was when he bumped into Brooke’s legs, unable to move any further, the Canandian blocking the way.

“Beep, beep.” Vanjie made a truck noise, bumping into Brooke’s legs again, but once more, the other man didn’t move at all.

“Hello there.” Brooke looked up, a smirk playing on his lips.

“You blocking the road.”

“Am I?” Brooke feigned ignorance, Nina not noticing them at all as he was checking in with Silky and Ariel, Nina’s hand on Ariel’s leg, their voices hushed. 

“Well, I guess that’s one of the risks you take on the road less travelled.” Brooke was wearing a green sweater and a black cap, the stubble Vanjie had made fun of all gone, and Vanjie felt another flush of delight with the fact that Brooke apparently cared what he thought.

“You gonna move?”

Brooke moved his knees, holding them against the side of the couch and Vanjie walked forward, only for Brooke to turn his foot out, Vanjie tripping over it.

“Woooh.” Brooke caught him, hand on his stomach. “Careful there cowboy.”

“Bitch-” Vanjie was just about to cuss Brooke out, when he caught the fact that he had called him cowboy, playfully referring to Vanjie’s blunder the first time they met.

“You should really watch out.” Brooke turned Vanjie upright again, his hands sliding to Vanjie’s hips. “We don’t want you to fall.”

“Maybe you should watch the fuck out then.” Vanjie huffed. He wanted to be mad, but it was impossible when Brooke was holding him.

“You’d like that, huh?” Brooke chuckled, his thumb digging into Vanjie’s hip bone. The other queen pushed him gently, Vanjie sitting down next to him.

“See.” Brooke looked at Vanjie. “Wasn’t so hard now.”

“You shut your whore mou-”

“Brooke.” Nina spoke, both of them turning their heads. “Over here.”

“Yes!” Brooke grabbed his script. “Sorry.” Brooke smiled, moving so he was watching Nina, his and Vanjie’s backs touching each other, Vanjie leaning back against Brooke as they both came up with lines with their respective groups, neither of them noticing Silky who was watching them intently. 

///

Vanjie was washing his face, a big pot of moisturiser on the sink next to him, the bathroom stalls behind him. Vanjie had wanted to get dressed in the Werq Room, but production had told him he wasn’t allowed to spray cologne in there anymore after one of the camera men had nearly coughed up a lung from choking on a cologne cloud, and there was no way Vanjie was risking being anywhere near Brooke without smelling his absolute best.

The door to the hall opened, and Brooke walked in, the other man already fully dressed and looking exactly like he had when he had walked into the Werq Room.

“How the fuck you already done?” Vanjie looked at Brooke, both of his hands on his cheeks as he was massaging mousteries into his face.

“The many talents of a showgirl.” Brooke smiled, walking over to the sink, a bottle of oil and a washcloth in his hand.

“You mean the many talents of a hogirl.”

Brooke snorted, and immediately grabbed his side. “Ow.”

“You okay?” Vanjie caught Brooke’s eyes in the mirror, but the other man didn’t look like he was in distress.

“You were so amazing in the challenge-” Brooke rubbed his ribs. “That it honestly feels like I have a cracked rib from desperately attempting not to laugh.” Brooke smiled, “I knew you were funny, but I didn’t have any idea how absolutely hilarious you are.”

Vanjie’s eyes widen a little, Brooke’s compliments washing over him. Vanjie hadn’t watched Brooke at all during their performance, too busy serving up the very best that he could. He could see the blush in his cheeks in the mirror, and he looked down, embarrassed at how much the praise affected him.

“You weren’t so bad yourself.” Vanjie felt like he was whispering, though he was probably just talking at a normal level. He ran a hand through his hair, not even realising that he smeared cream in it.

“That seems generous.” Brooke chuckled, “We both know Nina did most of it.” Brooke opened his oil, splashing his hands, “but thank you.”

“Nah.” Vanjie stepped closer, inching into Brooke’s space until they were almost sharing a sink. “You good.” Vanjie rubbed his neck. “You real good.” 

///

“So,” Silky dumped down on the seat, sitting next to Vanjie in the van.

“You can’t sit-” Vanjie had saved the seat for Brooke, had laid his jacket out, but Silky had simply sat down on it, not giving a single fuck.

“You crushing on Brooke Lynn?” Silky looked at Vanjie, his arms crossed, and Vanjie felt lightning run through his body.

“What? Who said- No!” Vanjie knew he was responding too fast, his words not convincing at all. “No.”

“Don’t you act shy!” Silky said, none of the assistants in the van yet, as everyone was still getting dinner outside. “I wanted a piece of Kahanna, and it was working-“

“Sure bitch.” Vanjie snorted, Silky’s desperate attempts to tempt the other queen clearly not working if you asked anyone but Silky. “Sure.”

“It would have worked if fate hadn’t torn us apart.” Silky sighed, briefly mourning the fact that Kahanna had got sent home. “But we ain’t talking about me, we talking about you,” Silky poked Vanjie in the chest. “and you flirting for real for real.”

Vanjie bit his lips, sinking into the seat, his own arms crossing. “Maybe…” It felt great, and horrible to say at the same time, the idea that Brooke wanted him too not seeming like a possibility at all. 

“You want the deep dish D?” Silky wiggled his eyebrows, a giant smirk on his face, the grin staying exactly in place, even though Vanjie didn’t answer.

“Don’t you worry boo.” Silky clapped Vanjie’s shoulder, standing up. “I got you.”

Vanjie sat up, his blood running cold. “... Got what?”

Silky simply whistled, before he walked further into the van, Vanjie turning around in his seat, his hands gripping the backrest.

“Got what!!”

///

Vanjie was sweating like a sinner in church. It was normal for him to travel on the elevator with Silky, Brooke Lynn and A’keria, but somehow, the vibe was completely different today. The minute they had stepped out, everyone waiting together to be locked in their rooms, A’keria had complained to their production assistant, Charlotte, about a loud, strange noise in his room. The assistant had fixed them all with a look, promising them all hell to pay if they acted up, and went with A’keria to his room.

Brooke was leaning against the wall, a packet of cigarettes in his hand as he waited to be escorted out for a smoke, Silky and Vanjie standing together a little further down.

“I don’t know what you’re planning, but-” Vanjie whispered, holding Silky’s arm.

“Hey!” Silky yelled, Brooke turning his gaze to look at them. “Brooke Lynn!”

“What are you-“ Vanjie felt panic rise in his chest, his fingers digging into Silky’s arms.

“Vanjie’s got a crush on you!”

Vanjie felt his entire world stop, Brooke turning his gaze from Silky to him, and Vanjie wanted the earth to swallow him up.

“Hmm?” Brooke watched Vanjie, a smile on his lips. Vanjie could see that he was just about to talk, when Charlotte returned from A’kerias room.

“Sorry about the wait everyone! I looked everywhere, and I couldn’t hear anything at all” Charlotte got her roll of tape out, quickly covering A’keria’s door. “Brooke, you wanted a smoke break, right?”

“Yes please.” Brooke held up his white box of American Spirit.

“And Vanj, you wanted a 7/11 run?” Charlotte looked at Vanjie, and Vanjie nodded. He didn’t really need anything, but he hadn’t been in the mood to stay in his room all night, even though he wished desperately that he was there right now.

“Hey!” Silky held up his hand. “Charlotte, I forgot my inhaler in the van-”

Vanjie looked over at Silky, confusion probably clear in his face. “You don’t use an inhale-”

“Bitch shut the fuck up.” Silky hissed back, and Vanjie realised it was probably still part of the plan, even though he had no idea what was going on.

“Really?” Charlotte groaned. “What is with you guys today? Causing me nothing but problems.”

“I need it.” Silky shrugged.

“You can come.” Charlotte walked them all to the elevator, and pressed down to the parking garage. Vanjie felt like he wanted to die, Brooke standing at his side, the entire elevator completely quiet. The elevator dinged, and Charlotte stepped out, leaving Brooke and Vanjie alone.

“You two-” Charlotte pointed. “Stay put, and don’t move a muscle.”

Right behind her, Silky gave a big thumbs up, a giant dumb smile on his face. The elevator door closed, and Brooke and Vanjie were completely alone.

“So…” Vanjie looked over at Brooke. “Hola.” He held up his hand, waving a little. “Como est-”

Vanjie was cut off, as Brooke kissed him, their lips touching each other, and fireworks exploded in Vanjie’s chest. They kissed one, two, three times, and Vanjie had never imagined he’d be kissing Brooke Lynn Hytes.

The elevator dinged, and they broke apart, Brooke acting like nothing had happened, Silky and Charlotte bickering since nothing had been in the van, but as they rode up, Vanjie felt a hand rest on lower back, inching towards his ass.

///

Vanjie had almost expected Brooke to ignore what had happened between them, but as they entered the work room the next day, what happened was anything but that.

“Hey Papi.”

Vanjie turned around, just to see Brooke walk towards him, holding his arms out, and Vanjie slipped into the embrace, their lips touching briefly.

“How are you?”

Vanjie knew instantly that Brooke didn’t just ask how he was feeling right now, but how he was feeling about yesterday's kiss. They hadn’t had time to talk, Silky only buying them a few moments, and since they were in different breakfast groups, they had also been in different vans.

“Good.” Vanjie enjoyed the embrace for another second, before he pulled away, spotting the shaver in Brooke’s hand. “Good to know you can get rid of the beard.”

Brooke laughed, Vanjie fully expecting him to leave right away, but instead, he lingered, their entire group relaxed and confident compared to the shattered and frantic energy of the Mariah performers.

Brooke sat down, and Vanjie watched him in confusion, their call time only a little over two hours away.

“Don’t you need to do your makeup?” Vanjie opened his own makeup kit, the fact that Brooke was so relaxed actually a little strange.

“Can you keep a secret?” Brooke leaned his head against his hand as he watched Vanjie.

“Depends on what kind it is.” Vanjie watched Brooke, unsure if he wanted to know a secret in the stressful environment of Drag Race.

“I usually do my makeup in 45 minutes.” Brooke smiled like a schoolboy, clearly giddy with what he was sharing.

Vanjie snorted. “Bitch you lying.”

“Swear on my life.” Brooke put a hand on his chest, holding up the other one. 

“Ain’t no fucking way you doing makeup as fierce as yours in 45 minutes, good glue alone takes 30.” Vanjie grabbed his glue stick, warming it up against the back of his hand.

“I use Pros-Aide.”

“Bless you.” Vanjie ran purple over his brows, watching Brooke out the corner of his eye.

“That wasn’t a sneeze.” Brooke laughed, a bit of disbelieve clear in his voice. “It’s a prosthetic adhesive. Literally cuts brow time down to 6 minutes.”

“You lying.”

“I promise I’m not.” Brooke smiled, the two of them chatting back and forth, Silky and A’keria showing up.

///

Brooke walked on the bus, fully expecting to see Vanjie sitting there, waiting for him, but instead, he found the other queen sitting in the very back, his jacket over him, leaning against the window.

“Hey.” Brooke sat down, the scent of Vanjie filling his nostrils.

“Mmh.”

Brooke raised an eyebrow, confused and slightly concerned with how deflated Vanjie seemed. The night had been chaos, both Silky and Yvie popping off, while the six person lip sync had simply been uncomfortable to watch. Brooke had never been good at reading human emotions, a life around people who spoke their minds, dancers simply not having the time or patience for bullshit, meant that it was something he struggled with. 

Vanjie was different, the other man wearing his heart on his sleeve, every emotion completely clear on his face, no matter if he wanted it or not, and right now, Vanjie seemed so much more defeated than he deserved.

“Wanna make out?”

“What?” Vanjie snorted, his eyes brightening, his back straightening, the man Brooke already felt he knew coming back. 

“Is that a no?” Brooke smiled.

“Fuck no.”

Brooke took Vanjie’s chin in hand, gently pulling him in, their lips meeting in a kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

“So are you going to explain what’s going on with you?” Brooke looked up from his takeaway coffee and over at Nina, as they there standing in line for the bus.

“What’s going on with me what?” Brooke smiled, though he was pretty sure he knew why Nina was asking, the hotel coffee slightly burned as he took another sip.

“You’re in an awfully good mood, and while I know we did good yesterday, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this relaxed in a competiti-”

“I think I have a crush on Jose.” Brooke cut Nina off, the words falling from his lips in a jumble. It felt strange to say them, liberating in a weird sense, sharing them with a friend as dear as Nina making it scary real, and while it was terrifying, it was also fantastic.

Brooke hadn’t liked anyone as much as he liked Vanjie since he had had his cruise romance, Vanjie slowly but surely inching from the category of fellow queen and sister that was fun to make out with, to a man that Brooke had a genuine interest in. 

“... Who’s Jose?”

Brooke snorted, the complete confusion on Nina’s face a joy to watch, and Brooke guessed that it did make sense that Nina didn’t know Vanessa like he did.

“I’m talking about Vanjie.”

“What?” Nina’s eyes grew wide. “You have what, on who? What?”

Brooke laughed, quickly covering his mouth as to not raise any suspicion, the other queens in the line thankfully caught up in their own things.

“There’s no need to act that surprised.” Brooke took a sip of his coffee.

“Oh yes, because this is totally normal.” Nina snorted, the two of them walking into the van together, the production assistants not even batting an eye as they sat together, everyone on the crew knowing how close Nina and Brooke where. “It’s totally normal for you, Brooke Lynn Hytes, to have crushes.”

“I have crushes.” Brooke replied, somewhat offended, Nina’s tone almost implying that he was some emotionless stone creature.

“You have boners.” Nina pointed out, “Not crushes.”

“I’ll have you know that this is very PG13.”

Brooke had to admit that he could kinda see his friends point. Brooke loved to party with Nina, but it wasn’t unusual for the other queen to get tired of Brooke’s shenanigans on a night out, Brooke’s pick of willing partners a whole lot larger than the people who threw themselves at Nina. Not that Brooke understood it, Nina one of his favorite people in the entire world, and the friend he liked to make out with the most next to Detox since Steve had unfortunately been taken off the list when he had gotten together with Jon.

“So, are you going to do anything about it?”

Brooke shrugged, Nina’s attention and interest hanging heavy in the air.

“Maybe?” Brooke smiled a little, taking another drink of his coffee. “But.. It’s nice.”

  
  


///

They walked into the workroom, hand in hand, and Vanjie was practically beaming. It was Brooke who had looked for him, the other queen taking his hand like it was the most natural thing in the world when Vanjie had come off the second van, and Vanjie felt like he was shining from within from pure happiness. He had worn his grey tracksuit, how Brooke had looked at him when he had worn the pink at the back of his mind when he had gotten dressed that morning.

When they got to the work table, Brooke sat down, his legs instantly spreading out in a position that was so very dude that Vanjie couldn’t help but snort, the other man absolutely ridiculous. 

Vanjie had followed Brooke’s social media, had seen a bit of the sillier sides of the other queen, which had only made him that much more interested in who Brooke was as a person, but he had never imagined how much of a man Brooke was when he wasn’t in drag.

Vanjie touched Brooke’s leg, moving between them to settle down, when he felt a hand on his hip, Scarlett and Yvie loudly talking on the other side of the table.

“Hey there little truck.”

Truck? Had Brooke just dared to call him a truck?

“The fuck you saying assho-”

Vanjie was just about to fire off, Shuga moving a little as he noticed the raised volume, but when he looked at Brooke’s face, Vanjie realised he was smirking, Brooke clearly entertained by the situation and his reaction.

“Oh.” Vanjie huffed, Brooke smiling even more as Vanjie caught on to his tease. “So you a smart ho today?”

Brooke tilted his head slightly, his hand still resting on Vanjie’s hip. “I’ve been known to be quite gifted.”

Vanjie was just about to reply, the world melting away around them, when he was forcefully pulled back to the now as Ru walked into the Werq Room, the ‘Hello Hello Hello’, everyone lining up for another day of filming.

///

Vanjie looked at himself in the mirror, the wig looking like an actual slug had taken residence across his forehead, the wigline so harsh it could probably be seen from space.

Vanjie looked… questionable, at best, but how the fuck was he supposed to look good when what he had been given was a cheap polyester suit, and glasses that made him look like a nerd.

“Vanjie?!”

“Here!” Vanjie jumped up, the production assistant calling him on set, but as he walked across the room, he came across the one person he didn’t want to bump into, Brooke looking at him with a giant smile on his face.

“You look real sexy.” Brooke smirked, wiggling his eyebrows, and while they were wearing the exact same outfit, Brooke somehow managed not to look like actual shit. 

“Don’t you dare even look at me right now!”

Brooke laughed, the sound loud and bright, the other queen lunging down, his hand meeting Vanjie’s ass which made him yelp as he hurried out of the room, the laugh following right behind him all the way to set.

///

“This seat taken?”

Brooke looked up from his lunch of a ham and cheese sandwich, to see Vanjie stand in front of him. Brooke had saved the seat, Nina sending him a very pointed look when he had waved his friend away.

“For you?” Brooke smiled, “Always.”

Vanjie sat down, and Brooke felt a brief stab of worry when he saw that Vanjie only had bread and an apple on his plate.

“So,” Brooke took another bite of his sandwich. “Did you have fun feeling illiterate?”

“The fuck does that mean?” Vanjie broke his bread in half, looking at Brooke with clear suspicion on his face.

“Nothing.” Brooke smiled to himself. Brooke thought he had done adequately in the teleprompter challenge, the fact that he messed up a word or two not actually shaking his confidence all that much since he knew speaking wasn’t his strong suit, and he couldn’t imagine Vanjie had done much better. He had seen Vanjie read a script, and he found it kinda sweet how much Vanjie struggled with english.

“The challenge was just a lot harder than I expected.”

“Tell me about it ho.” Vanjie sighed, popping a bite of bread into his mouth. “I said socopocatogo.” Vanjie groaned, clearly annoyed and embarrassed with himself. “That shit ain’t a word in no language in the world.” 

“Not really no.”

“Thank jesus it wasn’t no damned main challenge.” Vanjie grumbled.

Brooke chuckled, “It would have been sad if you went home looking like a lesbian porcupine.” Brooke smirked, Vanjie’s eyes widening as he realised what Brooke had said.

“Bitch!” Vanjie hit him, his little hand slapping Brooke’s arm. “How dare you say shit like that when you a hockey coach looking motherfucker!”

Brooke laughed, catching Vanjie’s hand, steam practically coming out of the other man's ears, Brooke fully enjoying Vanjie’s miniature tantrum.

///

“I can be Shandee.”

“You wanna be Shandee?”

“I can be.”

Vanjie found Brooke’s eyes, the two of them seeking each other instantly as Mercedes opened his mouth. Vanjie could see the cringe in Brooke’s face, and Vanjie knew it was mirrored in his own. 

There was no fucking way Mercedes could carry that role.

Vanjie did a little nod of his head, gesturing towards Mercedes, which made Brooke shake his head, but Vanjie kept his gaze looked firmly on the made, making Brooke sigh, before he turned.

“Ariel.” Brooke said, his voice sugary sweet. “You’d also be really good as Shandee.” Brooke looked at Vanjie, one eyebrow raised. “Just to throw that out there.”

Scarlett instantly caught Brooke’s words, running with them, and Vanjie felt himself relax, leaning back in his chair as Brooke smiled, something that looked a lot like pride radiating from the other man.

///

“Bitch why didn’t you say shit?” A’keria hissed as RuPaul walked away from their table.

“About what?”

“Dance experience?” A’keria raised a brow, his attitude so clearly that of a parent that Vanjie could barely keep the smile off his face. “You’re a force of nature when you hit the stage.”

Vanjie felt himself blush, A’kerias recognition actually meaning a lot, and while Vanjie didn’t like it, his friend was absolutely right. “I can’t help it…” Vanjie bit his lip. “Whenever Ru comes around, she’s just so, you know, Ru’s-”

“Really Ru?”

“That.” Vanjie pointed at A’keria with his pen. “It fucks all my shit up.”

“Well get it unfucked.” A’keria chuckled, “cause you’re amazing baby, and you gotta show them all that.”

///

“And Beyonce!” Vanjie smiled brightly, which made Yanis laughed.

“That’s what you heard?” Yanis raised a brow

“And Grease! And Grease! And Grease!” Vanjie held up his hands, deflecting the attention from himself, Yanis thankfully moving on. 

They were all standing in line, Vanjie regretting the fact that he had worn his fur coat. Yanis asked if anyone had dance experience, and even though Vanjie knew A’keria wanted him to step forward, he still felt so embarrassed about the Grease line that he just couldn’t do it.

Vanjie knew that he was a dancer, and knew that he could do well, that knowledge a fact that no one could take away from him, even as Ra’Jah yapped away next to him. The other queens resume was impressive, and as Ra’Jah kept speaking, Vanjie felt his brows raise higher and higher. He had never heard of Ra’Jah before the competition, or seen him do anything, but as Ra’Jah continued to speak, Vanjie realised the crucial piece of information that Ra’Jah was missing.

He had no idea who Brooke was, or what Brooke could do.

“Shit.” Vanjie whispered to himself, Ra’Jah officially digging a hole there was no way he was getting out of.

“I used to be a professional ballet dancer.”

Vanjie tilted his head, looking down the line at Brooke who was practically beaming, and Vanjie felt his heart swell with pride he knew he didn’t actually deserve to feel yet, though it was impossible not to. Yanis was speaking, saying a ton of words Vanjie vaguely knew was about ballet, Brooke doing a few moves which was a joy to watch, most of all as Vanjie saw the sinfully short sweats Brooke was wearing. 

///

“Holy fuck…”

Brooke looked to his right at Vanjie who was sitting right beside him, Yanis introducing the choreography to them, and Brooke absolutely felt the exact same way.

“Fuck indeed.”

Vanjie reached out, taking Brooke’s hand, the cameras focused on the stage.

“That ain’t gonna be no one two…” Vanjie whispered.

“It’s really, really not.” 

Brooke turned his palm slightly, their fingers intertwined the entire time as Yanis instructed the first batch of girls.

///

“Brooke, could you show us please?”

“Sure.”

Vanjie’s eyes had been glued to Brooke, the other man owning the stage even if he was in the background, Vanjie watching his every move.

“Everybody watch Brooke Lynn.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice, Brooke’s looking like sex on legs.

///

“You need some water?” Vanjie turned to Brooke, whispering to the other man. They had finished practising their part, Vanjie more than confident that he could get it.

“I’m fine.”

Brooke looked uncomfortable, and Vanjie didn’t know why.

“Liar liar pants on fucking fire.”

“I wish I had pants on fire.” Brooke groaned, pulling his shorts down. “I forgot to put on underwear after we changed, and this choreo is killing my dick.”

Vanjie felt his brain melt. “... What?” Vanjie sat up in his chair, a hiss leaving him. “You did what? How the fuck you forget to put on underwear?”

Brooke raised an eyebrow. “I just told you how?” 

“You mean you naked right now?”

“I’m obviously wearing shorts.” Brooke pointed to his crotch, and Vanjie followed the hand, a bright blush rising in his cheeks, the outline of a dick so very clear now that he was looking for it, and by the look of it, it was more than proportionate.

“Shit…” Vanjie whispered, which made Brooke laugh, the noise warm and perfect.

///

“How do you feel about the challenge?” Brooke looked at Jacqueline, who was sitting behind the confessionals camera. “Is that a serious question?” Brooke raised an eyebrow, not really believing what he was hearing.

“This is confessionals Brooke.” Jacqueline crossed her legs. “I’m absolutely serious.”

“I’ve seen everyone else dance, I have a minor background role, and I was a professional ballet dancer for six years.” Brooke huffed. “I think I’ll be fine.”

He knew he was tired, knew he was cranky, but they had gone over the moves again and again and again, way more than he needed, his team not getting the steps down at all.

“Can I get that again with a lot less sarcasm?” Jacqueline smiled, and Brooke realised how ridiculous he was being.

“I’m sorry.”

“Just answer the question princess.”

Brooke chuckled, sitting up straight in the chair.

“I was a professional ballet dancer for six years, so I’m ready to have a good time with this challenge.”

///

_ “Vanjie looks happy.” _

_ “Vanjie is not happy. Where is the lipsync girl.” _

///

“Are you okay?” Brooke touched Vanjie’s back, the tall looming presence standing behind Vanjie.

Vanjie looked up from her iPhone, about to reply, when she realised that the camera had followed Brooke, and that she didn’t actually want to share how she was feeling with them.

“I have to come up with this little eight count, and get what I gotta do.”

Vanjie stood up, walking away, hoping that the camera wouldn’t follow, but it did.

“You know me, I gotta come up with something.” Vanjie said, standing against the table when she realised that they wouldn’t be left alone.

“You’re gonna be fine.”

Brooke’s tone was serious, her full conviction behind the words. “Out of everyone, you were given the least harsh critiques.”

“Fuck that shit…” Vanjie mumbled.

“You’ll be fine.” Brooke touched Vanjie’s wig, gently fluffing it up. “You did a flip, you performed actual gymnastics out there.” Vanjie knew Brooke was right, but it didn’t help the knot in her stomach. 

“That don’t mean shit if the judges don’t like you.”

Brooke smiled a little, the sadness in her eyes tugging at Vanjie’s own heart.

“Whatever.” Vanjie sighed, adjusting her wig for something, anything to do with her hands. “You know. It is what it is.”

Brooke held out her arms, and Vanjie leaned into them, not caring if the feathers on her costume got wrinkled. Brooke kissed her cheek, barely touching her.

“What lipstick are you wearing?” Brooke was whispering, and Vanjie was pretty sure the words where only for her.

“Glitter galore.” Vanjie smirked, “so keep those lips to yourself unless you wanna get Vanjie’s up.”

“Hmm?” Brooke smiled, kissing her gently. “Thank god I’m in the top then.”

Brooke tickled Vanjie’s chin, Vanjie hitting her hard on her arm.

“Bitch!”

“You like it.”

Brooke put her arms around Vanjie’s shoulders, kissing her again, and Vanjie closed her eyes, disappearing into Brooke for just a moment, allowing herself to forget everything for a minute.

///

“Have you had a bikini wax before?”

“Yes.”

Vanjie took one of her headphones out. She had halfway followed Tiffany's conversation with everyone, but the sound of Brooke’s voice caught her entire attention.

“I have had my asshole waxed, my balls waxed.”

Vanjie yelled, surprised that Brooke would share that with the world. Vanjie wasn’t surprised with the answer, the fact that Brooke was a pageant queen, and a Miss Continental at that no joke, but she couldn’t keep the dick outline she had seen yesterday out of her mind, smooth velvety skin there as well now.

“Does a bikini wax hurt?”

“Well it doesn’t feel good.”

Vanjie snorted, hiding her mouth behind her hand.

///

“Now has there been, any romantic interest?”

Everyone yelled, Vanjie feeling their attention simultaneously turning towards her. A’keria stood up, walking up and grabbing her hand.

“Bitch, no, what are you-” Vanjie whispered, but A’keria just dragged her along.

Brooke was looking down into her drink as Vanjie walked over, and for a second, Vanjie was scared that Brooke would reject her, that she had misread every kiss and touch between them.

“Have a seat baby, have a seat.” A’keria pointed. Vanjie put a hand on Brooke’s shoulder to sit down, but Brooke simply turned her head up, taking it as an invitation, and then, they kissed, Vanjie’s worries completely melting away.

Vanjie stood up, Tiffany looking at both of them.

“How long has this been going on?”

It didn’t happen often, but Vanjie had no idea what to say, her mind standing completely still.

“Not long enough.” Brooke looked at her, barely acknowledging Tiffany, even though she was the one she was answering. “Not long enough at all.”

Vanjie smiled, Brooke’s answer so absolutely perfect.

“You got that itch that needs to be scratched?”

Vanjie saw Brooke’s jaw drop, and she couldn't help but laugh as she ran away.

///

“Hello good friend of mine.”

Vanjie looked up to see Brooke, the man as always too tall for the van. Brooke sat down next to him, Vanjie actually succeeding in keeping the backseat of the van free for once.

“I had to say something…” Vanjie shrugged, a little worried that Brooke had taken offence to what Vanjie had said in the workroom, but Brooke simply smiled, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement.

“It’s a good label.”

Brooke put his hand on Vanjie’s knee, the touch and the habit already so ingrained between them that Vanjie instantly spread his legs a little.

“A very good label.”

Brooke moved, boxing Vanjie in against the side of the van.

“You think we just friends?” Vanjie looked at Brooke, the rest of the world disappearing.

Brooke paused for a minute, his blue eyes betraying that he was clearly thinking.

“I think-“ Brooke moved even closer, Vanjie’s breath getting stuck in his lungs. “That we should see where it’s going.”

“If the kisses keep coming.” Vanjie could feel the warmth of Brooke against him, their chests slotted together. “I’mma keep accepting.”

Brooke kissed Vanjie, a moan escaping him as their bodies did the talking.

///

“Ha, ha, ha.”

Vanjie’s room was completely dark, his eyes readjusting from the blinding white as his breathing slowly returned to normal, a pool of cum drying on his stomach, his hands sticky with seed. Vanjie had just emptied himself all over his body, his dick exploding as his mind had been filled with thoughts of Brooke.

Vanjie sighed, the bedside clock ticking over to 3.am. Vanjie reached for the t-shirt he had been wearing, quickly wiping down his stomach, too tired and pleasantly tingly now to clean up any further. He hadn’t been able to fall asleep, thoughts of the day swirling around his brain, until Brooke had taken over. Brooke who had kissed all his worries away in the van, Brooke with the impossibly soft lips, Brooke who’s hand had been edging towards the edge of his shorts before they had been pulled apart by the van stopping, Brooke who looked at Vanjie with those blue eyes, like he was a puzzle to be solved, like he was a mystery to uncover and someone to desire.

Vanjie threw the t-shirt towards the bathroom, curling up on his side, pulling the duvet over him. He knew being back at drag race would be hard, but he had never expected it to feel anywhere near as impossible as it felt most days. The orgasm had however left his body light, his mind floating away on a cloud of endorphins, dreams of a certain canadian taking him away.


	5. Chapter 5

Brooke woke up to the sound of a knock on the door.

“Brooke?”

“Mmh?” Brooke opened his eyes, his chin uncomfortably wet. He closed his mouth, realising that he had drooled in his sleep. 

Steve had packed sleeping pills for him, Brooke at first arguing that he’d probably not need them, but Steve had given him a knowing look, and it turned out that his best friend had been right, Brooke already popping the little pills when they had been asked to act in the second main challenge.

“Brooke!” Brooke heard the knock once again.

“Yes.” Brooke sat up. “Yes, I’m awake.” He rubbed his eye, hiding a yawn behind his hand, his hair probably crazy if the feel of it was any indication.

“You’re going to be late for the bus.”

Brooke’s eyes widened. He looked at the clock, and his assistant was absolutely right. He had slept through two alarms, completely missing breakfast. “Fuck!”

Brooke hated being late, his anxiety crawling up his spin as he hurried down the hall, pulling his grey beanie over the hair he didn’t have time to check in the mirror, a pair of flip flops under his arm. Brooke had grabbed the first pair of pants in his suitcase, not even realising they were overalls until he felt the straps bounce against his legs.

Brooke jumped into the van, holding his hand against the ceiling as the car pulled out. Brooke looked around, unsure of where to sit, when we caught Vanjie’s eyes, the man smiling and gesturing to the empty seat next to him.

“Hey hot stuff.” Vanjie bumped their shoulders together.

“Hey…” Brooke pulled his beanie down. At first, he had felt relief that the seat had been held open, but as he calmed down, Brooke started to feel self conscious. He didn’t normally care what clothes he wore, actually, he didn’t give a shit about it, but even he could see that the mix he had managed to throw on didn’t look great. Brooke could feel himself spiraling, his stomach turning to knots, the fact that he wasn’t even wearing deodorant churning away in his mind.

“I got a surprise for you.”

Brooke was pulled back to himself. “A surprise?” Brooke raised an eyebrow.

“Mmmh!” Vanjie nodded, his lips pressed tightly together in a smile like he’d explode if he didn’t physically restrain himself. Brooke watched as Vanjie pulled a cup of coffee, and a napkin that was wrapped around three pieces of toast.

“Here!” Vanjie thrusted it into Brooke’s hands, practically vibrating with joy. “I noticed your ass weren’t at breakfast.”

Brooke took the coffee, a strange warm glow tight in his chest. “Thanks Papi…” Brooke looked at Vanjie, giving him a sweet kiss, more than touched by Vanjie’s gesture. “That was really sweet of you.”

///

“We have a couple name for you guys.”

Vanjie’s head snapped up, Nina’s voice catching his attention. Vanjie was standing on a chair yet again, one of the camera men actually asking him to which had made Shuga laugh. Brooke was sitting next to them, Plastique’s arms wrapped around him.

“Okay.” Brooke put his hand on the table, looking at Nina, a smirk in the corner of his mouth. “What is it?”

“Branjie!” Nina smiled brightly, the table breaking into laughter.

“Oh fuck.” Brooke snorted, leaning down on his elbows.

“Why the fuck has Brooke’s name gotta be first?” Vanjie yelled, pulled along with the loud and enthusiastic mood.

“Who else would you be?” Scarlett interjected. “Vanke?” Scarlett’s face lighting up as he realised his own joke.

“Yes!” Plastique laughed, pulling Brooke towards him, shaking his friend.

“Miss Vaaankee” Ra’Jah started, everyone joined in.

“Know what.” Brooke smiled, his nose crinkled. “Branjie is not that bad.”

///

Vanjie knew he had to concentrate on what Ru was saying, but it was so very hard when Brooke was standing at his side, his arm over Vanjie’s shoulders. 

It was hard not to be hyper aware of how perfectly they fitted together, Vanjie’s fingers intertwined with Brooke’s, his hand hanging lose, Brooke easily and without thought taking his weight. He leaned in, their sides touching, and Vanjie couldn’t help but notice how good Brooke smelled, a small part of him taking notice to ask what cologne Brooke wore later.

///

The moment Brooke had gotten her cue card, she had thrown herself down on the red couch, pen in hand. Brooke was trying to figure out what to write when the couch dipped and Vanjie dumped down next to her.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Brooke smiled, both of them in their full outfits, Vanjie’s eye makeup looking very very interesting. Brooke could see that Vanjie had already filled her entire card, while her own was still depressingly empty.

“Why you looking all bachelorette Brandy depressed?”

Brooke snorted, once again surprised by Vanjie’s humor.

“That’s genius.”

“What?” Vanjie looked up at Brooke, her fingers combing through her wig.

“Bachelorette Brandy.” Brooke tapped her cards against her thigh, her brain completely empty of ideas. “Can I take that?”

“As long as she ain’t going to no night school for hooking.” Vanjie wiggled her brows, and Brooke chuckled.

“Don’t you worry,” Brooke tapped Vanjie’s leg with her card. “Brandy is a very respectable woman, but an insanely annoying bachelorette.”

Vanjie laughed, the two of them sitting together while Brooke filled his card out, until he heard a tiny little fuck come from Vanjie. 

Brooke looked up, to see Vanjie rub her eye with the palm of her hand.

“What’s wrong?”

“This shadow stings like a motherfucker.” Vanjie wiped under her eye. “Like a swarm of bees.”

Brooke pulled back, surprised and a little worried at Vanjie’s words. She grabbed her jaw, turning her head towards the light, Plastique yelling in the background. “Your skin is getting red.”

“It ain’t usually no problem if the shadow don’t sink in.” Vanjie closed her eyes, Brooke gently rubbing her thumb on Vanjie’s lid. “Stupid allergic eyelids.”

“Wait.” Brooke stopped her thumb, the pad of it resting on Vanjie. “Are you using makeup you’re allergic to?”

“What can I say.” Vanjie touched Brooke’s wrist, pulling her hand away. “It a fierce ass shadow.”

///

Vanji tried to be a good friend to Silky. He really, really did, but the only reason he actually heard anything at all was the ADHD that was always keeping track of everything that happened in any room always. 

They had been introduced to The Monster Ball - another construction challenge, and Vanjie could already feel sweat collecting in his crack from the pure stress of it all. 

“That looks like werewolf, no?” Vanjie said, not even looking at Silky.

Ru coming by any minute, and Vanjie wanted to make sure that he had something to show at his walkthrough.

Vanjie knew that he had gotten critiqued on the repetitiveness of his silhouettes, but he hadn’t brought any other patterns with him, his sewing skills only able to turn out two or three different outfits, and even though Vanjie knew it was risky, he was going to stick to his original plan, keep his head down, and hopefully get through.

///

Brooke was wiping his wet hands on his overalls as he walked back from the bathroom. Ru had already made his rounds, Brooke panicking completely as he realised that he had to make a whole new outfit, Ru really really not liking his pageant queen idea.

Brooke walked into the Werq Room, spotting Vanjie who was bent over his sewing machine, his upper body bare, and Brooke walked over to touch before he even realised what he was doing. 

“How you doin’ boo?” Brooke put his hand on Vanjies’s shoulder, squeezing the warm skin. 

Brooke had half listened to Vanjie’s critique, Ru sounding pleased, but not much else with Vanjie’s ideas, the man moving on pretty quickly.

Brooke kissed Vanjie’s cheek, the other man leaning into it, and A’keria chuckled from where he was pinning fabric to his mannequin.

“Good.” Vanjie smirked, and Brooke gave him an extra kiss, before he sat down.

“What kinda monster are you?”

“I drew it out here.” Vanjie held up a piece of paper, handing it to Brooke.

“Is it a zombie?”

“Yes!” Vanjie smiled brightly, actually forgetting his sewing machine for a moment. “Thank fuck you got it.”

“I did.” Brooke smiled, putting the paper down.

“I was gonna do it short.” Vanjie pointed at the sketch. “But I’m doing it longer.”

“Cute.” Brooke was impressed with what Vanjie had drawn, the idea kinda simply but very perfectly him, all of it fitting with Vanjie’s aesthetic.

“Where’d your shirt go Brooke Lynn Ho?”

Brooke raised an eyebrow at Vanjie’s comment, the other man flicking the strap of his overalls.

“Where’d your shirt go?”

Vanjie gasped, and Brooke chuckled, the other man clearly not prepared or expecting Brooke to mimic him.

“Bitch!” Vanjie laughed, as camera caught up in getting B-roll, neither of them in focus after Vanjie had shown his sketch.

“You figured something out yet?” Vanjie lowered his voice, leaning against Brooke.

“After Ru hated my idea?” Brooke rested his head on his hand. “No…” Brooke sighed, rubbing his eyes. Plastique had tried to cheer him up, had told him he was a front runner for sure, but it really hadn’t helped, Brooke desperately wishing he could call Steve.

“You’ll think of shit.” Vanjie touched Brooke’s arm, gently squeezing his bicep.

“Thanks…” Brooke touched Vanjie’s hand, the two of them looking at each other, Brooke realising how Vanjie absolutely and truly believed the words he was saying. 

“Kiss?” Brooke smiled, and Vanjie laughed, his eyes wrinkling in the most adorable fashion.

“You getting out of my station if I say yes?” Vanjie smirked.

“Maybe?”

Vanjie leaned in, closing the distance between them, the boys pecking one, two, three times before they broke apart.

///

“I’ve made an entire gown-” Brooke stabbed his fork into his bowl of rice, annoyance humming under his skin, “and I still have no idea what I’m doing.”

“I rarely say this to people who aren’t me,” Nina pointed at Brooke with his fork, “but you’ve got to calm down.”

Brooke looked at Nina, what he had just said so uncharacteristic for his friend.

“It’s from Devil Wears Prada?” Nina smiled, and Brooke huffed, the other man so clearly trying to calm him down.

“I just-” Brooke groaned. “I wish-” Brooke stabbed his fork into the mound of rice. “Of course we’re doing a fucking Halloween challenge, and of course I’m struggling with it-”

“At least you have something.” Nina shrugged. “I have no idea how to make my dead corpse sexy.”

Brooke laughed, Nina as always cheering him up. “You could always hope one of the judges is secretly into necrophil-”

“Hello hello hello Christine.”

Both Nina and Brooke turned, to watch the dream girls arrive, A’keria, Silky and Vanjie walking side by side.

“Hey Daddy.” Silky wiggled his brows at Nina, clearly play flirting, which made Nina snort.

“You guys talking about anything interesting?” A’keria took a drink of his shake, and Brooke realised that he had never actually seen A’keria eat anything but the nearly endless parade of snacks he had apparently brought from home.

“Just Brooke’s hatred of Halloween and spooky movies.” Nina smiled.

“You hating an entire genre of movies?” A’keria turned his head.

“I can, I will, and I am,” Brooke crossed his arms, already tired of the subjects.

“How the fuck you walking around hating on Halloween?” Vanjie had a bowl of plain rice in front of him, Vanjie speaking up for the first time since they had sat down.

“I work 5 nights a week.” Brooke shrugged

“You do what?” A’keria looked at Brooke, one of his eyebrows raised.

“At my local club. I’m a Playmate,”

“Uuuh.” Silky chuckled.

"Not that kind." Brooke looked his eyes, "but I can be." Brooke looked at Vanjie, a smirk on his lips.

“Brooke is a bit of a workaholic.” Nina smiled.

“Says the beating heart of Columbus.” Brooke gently nudged Nina’s side. “I just don’t see why I should celebrate something that forces me to put a costume on my costume.” Brooke picked his fork up again, returning to his food, Vanjie slowly getting so close he was practically sitting on Brooke’s lap.

“I’m not too fond of Halloween neither.” Silky held up his hand. “I’m not a spooky bitch.”

“You’re only saying that cause you know your costume is gonna turn out beast.” A’keria smirked, Silky yelling at the pure injustice of the read.

///

“Dollar tree - To the runway!"

At Brooke’s read, Vanjie snorted so hard that she nearly poked herself in the eye with her nail, Brooke’s surprise snipe of Silky made that much better by the fact that Silky had completely dropped her jaw, A’keria and Vanjie laughing together while Silky recovered, the other queen clearly not knowing how much of a killer Brooke actually was.

///

“Can’t believe your bitch ass has Cara Delavigne fangirling over you.” Vanjie leaned against the door. Brooke had walked out for a smoke, everyone else as always caught up in the dumb drama that seemed to breed in Untucked, Vanjie slipping out as well the moment Silky had looked away.

“If I believed in god.” Brooke flicked her cigarette. “I would have called it divine intervention.”

“Ain’t nothing divine about the casting department of WOW.” Vanjie snorted. “Unless you counting gay jesus.”

Brooke laughed, her tulle almost flying into her cigarette as she moved. “Shit.” Brook pushed it all back. “I’m seriously going to light myself on fire.” She dropped her smoke, stepping on it to put it out.

“You better not when you out here being a winner.” Vanjie smiled, taking a step down to get closer to Brooke, and she knew she was probably glowing a little with the praise.

“You got your lipstick?” Vanjie looked up at her, and Brooke was once again reminded of how small Vanjie actually was.

“I have it in my kit.” Brooke bit her lip. “Why?”

“Cause then I can do this.” Vanjie got on her toes, touching their lips together, Brooke for a moment worrying if she tasted ashy, the thought entirely new, her smoking habits never something she worried about with any hookup before.

Brooke touched Vanjie’s hips, pulling her closer, when the other started to laugh.

“Bitch what the-“ Vanjie spoke against Brooke’s lips, pulling back, her hand swatting at the tulle. “How a man supposed to kiss, when you got all this spooky oooky shit on?”

“I’m sure you can give it a try.” Brooke smiled, catching Vanjie’s lips again.

///

“Congratulations, Mami.” Vanjie smiled, everyone waiting in Untucked while Ariel packed her stuff up. They were eating dinner, Vanjie making her way through leftovers from lunch, since the catering crew had slowly picked up on how picky she was.

“Look at you winning all those trips.” 

“Guess I’ve been lucky.” Brooke smirked, playing it off as a joke, but Vanjie could see how very very pleased Brooke was with herself.

“Too bad you ain’t got no boyfriend to take along.” Vanjie knew she was toeing the line, knew she was walking into dangerous territory, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Yes.” Brooke looked directly into Vanjie’s eyes, her stomach growing hot, her cheeks heating up. “Too bad.”

///

“I thought I look sickening.” Vanjie looked around, her gaze catching Brooke’s, “I felt sickening,” Brooke smiled. “But I was safe.”

“Well, she was safe because it was still the same silhouette that the judges critiqued you on changing.” Yvie was smirking, and Vanjie felt herself light off.

She couldn’t remember anything she had said to Yvie, anger shimmering in her chest, her head growing hot, her anger growing and growing. 

“I’m not fucking coming for you.”

Vanjie knew she should probably listen to Yvie’s words, knew there were so many different ways to behave, but she couldn’t feel anything but anger and the sour, disgusting taste of embarrassment as she was dressed down right in front of Brooke.

“Well, you know everything what to say.”

///

Brooke hated the time on the couch. He was hot, he was uncomfortable, he never had anything to say, and for some reason, his sisters refused to shut the fuck up and let them all dedrag in god damn peace.

Brooke flicked his cigarette, the sky turning black as they were finally allowed to board the vans. Brooke spotted Vanjie, the other man hanging back with A’keria and Silky, and Brooke had felt for the first time that he had no place to interject, the others like a wall around Vanjie.

Brooke walked up, Vanjie so caught in his own little world that he didn’t notice Brooke, until he placed his ice cold waterbottle against Vanjie’s neck.

“What the-!” Vanjie jumped, turning around, swatting the bottle away like a cat, and Brooke couldn’t help but chuckle. “Why you playing?!”

“Hey.” Brooke smiled, and he instantly saw Vanjie calm down as he realised Brooke wasn’t looking for a fight. Brooke held the bottle forward, tipping it slightly. “Thirsty?”

“No.” Vanjie showed his hands in his pockets, looking down. Brooke wasn’t the best at reading social cues, but it didn’t take a genius to realise that Vanjie probably didn’t feel great about the fight with Yvie.

“Well I am.” Brooke waited for a beat, Vanjie looking up. “For you.”

Brooek felt his cheeks warm, the line so stupid he actually hated himself for a second, but then, Vanjie started laughing, the akwardness between them melting away.


	6. Chapter 6

Brooke woke up in a good mood, and even before his alarm. 

He had stayed in bed for a little while, looking at the ceiling, a strange sense of peace and relaxation filling his limbs. He had won another main challenge, and even one he had held no expectations of exceeding in. He had seen Yvie’s costumes, had heard Plastique brag about his makeup skills, but he had succeeded, and he had won. 

Brooke had gone to bed without taking any of his sleeping pills, a long hot shower and a delicious wank making his body more than tired enough to fall into a deep sleep the moment his head hit the pillow. 

Brooke had tried not to think of Vanjie, had tried to keep thoughts of caramel skin, brown eyes and a gruff voice that always surprised him out of his mind, but it had been a lost cause, Vanjie sneaking into his mind no matter if Brooke wanted him there or not.

“Hey Papi.”

Brooke smiled as dumped down besides Vanjie in the van, the other man clearly saving him a seat. 

“Hey.” Vanjie smirked, his eyes sparkling, their gazes locking, time slowing down as Vanjie started blushing, Brooke not even realising how intense he was probably being. 

Courtney had told him off about it a few times, Brooke knowing for a fact that he had scared off a potential flirt or two (or even three), with how quick he was to break down the barrier of personal space, but with Vanjie, he simply seemed to relish in the attention.

“You look good in white.” Vanjie reached out, tugging on the drawcord of Brooke’s hoodie. 

“Same to you.” Brooke smirked, watching Vanjie who acted exactly like a cat, swatting the cord whenever it stopped moving. ”Don’t you have a dog at home?”

“Yes bitch, why you asking?” Vanjie looked up at him, a smile playing on his lips. “Riley is my baby.”

Brooke chuckled, Vanjie’s love for his dog so clear whenever he spoke of the four legged friend. “I can’t wait to see pictures of him.” 

They had spent an entire ride talking about their animals, Brooke telling Vanjie of Henry and Apollo, everyone else chiming in with stories about their pets since the assistants wouldn’t allow them to discuss anything serious.

“Shit, I almost forgot-” Vanjie sat up, his game with Brooke’s shirt completely forgotten. “I asked Charlotte if I could get a print of my lil bro from my phone, and you know what she said?”

“By the way this is going I’m assuming no?” Brooke smiled, his inner eye already fully seeing the scene of Vanjie attempting to bargain with their floor assistant.

“She said no! Can you believe that?!” Vanjie threw up his arms. “She’s acting like a real bench.”

Brooke snorted, Vanjie’s unwillingness to actually call a real woman something demeaning one of his sweetest qualities. 

“Look at the adorable couple.” Shuga smiled, Vanjie and Brooke pulled out of their bubble by the brunette. “Acting like real lesbians.”

“Bitch what you mean?” Vanjie fired off, looking down only to realise that he was sitting halfway in Brooke’s lap, his legs thrown over the other mans.

“You’re wearing matching outfits already?” Shuga smirked, clearly loving the situation, and Brooke felt himself blush, Scarlett actually making an excellent point since they were both in matching white.

“Bro,” Vanjie put a hand on his hip, snapping his fingers. “We look fucking fierce.”

///

_ “I would never be spooky, but bitch would you ever be glam!” _

Vanjie was only half listening to Silky defending herself, even though he knew he should. They were all gathered around the table, the banter flying around and while Vanjie knew he should probably participate, he was frozen in place, caught between panic and pleasure.

He had leaned over the table, resting on his elbows, when he had felt Brooke’s hand land on his back, the big warm palm settling right on his spine, Brooke rubbing gentle circles on his back. 

Vanjie had sneaked a peek, had looked at Brooke out of the corner of his eye, but Brooke wasn’t even looking at him, was probably not even aware that he was petting Vanjie like he was a cat, the other man acting like it was the most natural thing in the world, and Vanjie wanted the moment to last forever.

///

“Bitch I can’t see shit!”

Brooke looked over his shoulder to see Vanjie jump, the shorter man blocked off from getting a proper look at Ru by Brooke and Scarlett, who were both a whole lot taller than him.

“Come here.”

Brooke reached past Scarlett, pushing the brunette queen aside, to put his arm around Vanjie, Brooke practically shoveling him in front, his arm resting around Vanjie’s shoulders as the other man grabbed it.

“Thanks.”

Brooke smiled as Vanjie stepped back, leaning against him, simply expecting Brooke to take his entire weight without question. 

///

“Yo!”

Brooke turned around, surprised to hear Vanjie’s gruff voice as she was almost finished putting on her workout costume.

“Can I borrow this?” Vanjie was holding Brooke’s grey hoodie, the one she had forgotten in the Werq room earlier in the week, and actually fully forgetting that she had even brought with her. 

“Sure?”

“Dope.” Vanjie smirked, tying it around her waist, and Brooke couldn’t help but smile over Vanjie’s outfit. Brooke had had an entire Barbie outfit ready to go from the back of her closet when she had received the list, but judging by what Vanjie was wearing, the other hadn’teally prepared for a workout outfit at all.

“Nice shoes.” Brooke raised an eyebrow, Vanjie’s shoes a pair of flower pumps with little pom poms on them.

“Nice dick.” Vanjie shot back, and Brooke was so surprised she couldn’t do anything but full belly laugh, the other one razor sharp and absolutely right. Brooke hadn’t tucked, instead opting to just throw on a pair of panties, the idea of doing any kind of gymnastics with her dick in tape one of the least appealing things she could think of. 

“I bet it looks even better from down there.” Brooke smirked, which heard her a slap on her arm, and a bitch thrown in her face.

///

“I’m gonna go with Brooke Lynn Hytes.”

Brooke threw her arms over her head, quickly running to join A’kerias team. She had hoped, had somewhat expected, to be picked first, but it still felt wonderful.

“Thanks.” Brooke whispered, quickly getting in line next to A’keria.

A’keria smirked, bumping her hip with Brooke. “You know us pageant girls have gotta stick together.”

///

Vanjie was washing his face, his chest bare as he had simply dropped all his shit in his station. Vanjie looked up as the door opened, just to see Brooke walk in, the other carrying a makeup wipe in his hand.

“Hey.” Brooke smiled, and Vanjie felt the familiar warmth that always seemed to come out whenever Brooke was around settle over him.

“Hey.”

It had become somewhat of a ritual of theirs, both of them preferring the bathroom that was furthest away from the studio. Vanjie because he had been sent into exile there over the perfume ban, and when Vanjie was alone, he liked to imagine that Brooke used it because of him.

“So,” Brooke threw his makeup wipe in the trash can. “How are you feeling about your team?”

“Can I be an honest ho?” Vanjie watched as Brooke walked to the urinal, the other man pushing his shorts down.

“Canada swear.” Brooke smiled, catching Vanjie’s eyes, not at all affected by the fact that he was literally pissing while talking to the man he was also kissing. 

Vanjie had already noticed that Brooke had close to no personal space, but it was strange to see it in action, and even stranger to be on the receiving end.

“That a real thing?”

“Not really.” Brooke finished, pulling his pants back up and Vanjie moved as he walked over to the sink. ”But I can keep a secret.” Brooke turned the water on, his blue eyes on Vanjie.

“We fucked.” Vanjie sighed. “We really, really fucked.”

///

“Nina! Over here!” Brooke waved, his friend carrying a bowl of coup as the other group had just returned from their rehearsals.

“Hi.” Nina smiled. Brooke spotted Vanjie too, the other man simply carrying an apple, and he picked his hoodie up from the chair next to him, Brooke saving the space for Vanjie.

“Hey boo.”

Brooke smiled at Vanjie, the other instantly moving into his space.

“Hey.”

“You guys had a good rehearsal?” Nina looked around, nodding to Silky and A’keria who were also at the table, before he sat down.

“We working on it.” A’keria smiled, clearly more than happy with their progress, though Brooke knew he was actually struggling quiet a bit. “What about you?”

“You’re looking at the backbone of our routine.” Nina pointed to Vanjie with his thumb, which made Vanjie smile.

“You killing it too Mama.” Vanjie took a bite of his apple, and Brooke tried to push his concern down at the fact that it didn’t look like Vanjie had picked anything else up for lunch.

“Sounds like you’re being modest.” Brooke smiled. “I’ve seen you dance.”

“You seen me?” Vanjie looked up at Brooke, his eyes wide with disbelieve. “How come you ain’t said shit then?”

Brooke shrugged. “When Alexis Mateo performs at a pageant, you make the time to watch.”

Brooke could see that Vanjie was moved by his words, a light blush dusting his cheeks, and Brooke wanted to prod and probe, to tease to get that reaction over and over again.

“I have to admit I’m very pleasantly surprised by Silky.” Brooke turned the conversation around and away from he and Vanjie, Nina watching them like they were his own personal romance movie.

“You looked like you wanted to murder me.” Silky wiggled his brow.

“We all wanted to murder you when we danced the same routine a trillion times cause you didn’t get it.” A’keria rolled his eyes, and Brooke smiled into his soup.

“Like you got the fans?” Silky shot back, and Brooke could practically feel Vanjie relax under his arm, the other man apparently needing to hear that they were struggling too.

“I mean, you were flopping around on the floor like the greatest catch.” Brooke smirked, and Vanjie chuckled. “I gotta give it to you. A bitch is committed.”

Silky threw his napkin at Brooke, which made him laugh. He reached for his bread, only to realise that it had somehow ended up in Vanjie’s hand, the man eating away at it.

“Adam Rippon wanted to suck Brooke’s dick.” A’keria said, wiggling his eyebrows. “Brooke Lynn, that looks so good’” A’keria mimicked, clearly trying to hit Adams voice.

Brooke snorted, surprised at what A’keria was saying. “I just know how to pick up a routine.”

“And Olympic Champions.” A’keria smirked, and Silky, Nina and A’keria all laughed.

“He gave you a number or what?” 

Brooke looked down, only to see Vanjie staring up at him, the question strange since none of them had their phones.

“I think I’m good.”

///

Vanjie felt sore all over, his group running their routine again and again and again.

“Chil’.” Vanjie groaned, leaning into Brooke’s side on the van ride home. “I feel like a truck just ran me over.”

Brooek smiled, and Vanjie would have been annoyed if he didn’t know for a fact that Brooke was just as tired, the other barely saying anything at all. “Drag Race is not for the faint of heart.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

///

Silky dumped down in the seat in front of Vanjie, shocking him out of his morning slump. Vanjie had skipped breakfast, too anxious to eat anything, the routine under his skin, but that didn’t matter at all if his teammates couldn’t deliver. 

“So I weighed myself this morning.”

“What?” Vanjie lifted a brow, kinda confused by Silky’s words. “Why? Where’d you even get a scale?”

“I gained 6 pounds since we got here.”

“How the heck you having enough time to gain 6 pounds?” Vanjie sat up, his arms going around the seat in front of him. “You just eating everything in sight?”

“You’ve seen me, I don’t do that-”

“I’m losing weight in here like a motherfucker” Vanjie knew it was true, and he wasn’t exactly proud of it. “6 pounds, what the fuck. They don’t even serve food that good.”

“You only say that cause you picky as shit.”

Vanjie huffed, just about to shoot back at Silky when Brooke came into the van, Vanjie smiling as he made a line directly for the seat next to him.

“Morning.”

Vanjie smiled, Brooke not kissing him, but it almost felt as nice to have their legs touching, Brooke sliding in like he belonged there.

“Silky gained 6 pounds.”

“Bitch!” Silky hit Vanjie’s hand, Vanjie laughing as he pulled it back from the seat. “I told you that shit in confidence.”

“6 pounds? That’s kind of impressive.” Brooke smiled, 

“It ain’t my fault-”

“You putting the food in your mouth.”

“I mean, I get it.” Brooke shrugged. “We’re served three meals a day and snacks? I can’t remember the last time I ate this much or this well.”

“See!” Silky got up on his seat as the car started moving, looking back at them. “Only thing that ain’t fucking fair is that Miss Brooke still got those abs going on.”

“I don’t have abs-” 

“What you call these things then?” SIlky reached out, pulling Brooke’s shirt up, and Vanjie laughed.

“Stress makes a world of difference.” Brooke chuckled, pushing at Silky’s hand to make him go away. 

“Ho we all stressed, and I sure as shit don’t got that whole dealing going on.”

///

Brooke took a deep breath. She hadn’t meant to ask, didn’t want to get involved, but as she was standing next to Vanjie in full costume, all of them waiting for the studio to be ready, she couldn’t keep to herself any longer. “Are you okay?” 

Vanjie turned, her blue hair and blue makeup absolutely stunning. “Why you asking?”

“I saw…” Brooke felt incredibly uncomfortable. “In the Werq room.” Brooke bit her lip. “I just saw-”

“I’m fine.” Vanjie interjected, and Brooke was sure she was embarrassed, knew with absolute certainty that if she had cried like that she’d want to be taken out back and shot, but she and Vanjie weren’t the same person. 

“I don’t know if we do this.” Brooke looked at Vanjie, “but that sounds like a lie.”

Vanjie stopped for a moment, her mask slipping away, and Brooke saw a brief second of the man who had cried in the Werq room.

“Don’t make me cry again-” Vanjie looked away, their sisters all around them. “I just did my makeup.”

“I don’t want you to cry, I didn’t mean-”

Brooke heard a sniffle, and she quickly reached under her skirt and for the waistband of her tights, grabbing the waddle of tissues she had pushed in there to give to Vanjie.

“Here.” Brooke wanted to say more, wanted to do more, but they were called on stage, Brooke completely missing how Vanjie watched her walk away.

///

“Fuck!” 

Brooke barely had time to rush in and catch Yvie who faltered the moment they got off stage, the other crumbling like cotton candy under water.

“Shit.” Brooke got under Yvie, pulling her arm over her shoulder. “I knew you got hurt.” Brooke had seen it, but she had also seen Yvie get back up. “I knew it you absolute idiot.”

“Don’t call me an idiot.” Yvie hissed as she obviously tried to get away, the other refusing to lean on Brooke, but she didn’t care.

“I know you’ve never been trained as a dancer.” Brooke looked at Yvie, “but the first lesson in any company, is know your boundaries.”

Yvie huffed, the other clearly too proud to truly listen to Brooke’s words, but she finally calmed down, allowing Brooke to take her weight.

///

_ “Burn the wigs! Burn the fucking wigs!” _

“So.. That whole wig drama?” Vanjie watched as Brooke leaned against the table she was standing at.

Vanjie had gone directly for the back the moment they arrived in Untucked, the idea of a camera shoved in her face after the critique she had gotten close to torture. 

“It stupid as fuck.” Vanjie didn’t look at Brooke, happy that the drama was there to distract. Brooke had once again done great, and Vanjie had once again fucked up, and it was a sour and unpleasant taste.

“I’ve never been happier not to be involved in something.” Brooke took a sip of her drink, a small smile on her lips. 

“Me too,” Vanjie smiled, Brooke’s easy company actually easing the tension in her belly. “Not like Ariel even had wigs that was that cute if you ain’t going for comic book.”

Brooke chuckled, and Vanjie sat down, Brooke’s hand on the back of her chair. “I kinda hope Scarlett goes home.”

Vanjie smiled, Brooke’s distaste for Scarlett endlessly entertaining. “You really don’t like her, huh?”

“Not really.” Brooke smirked, and Vanjie realised that she was probably playing it up in an attempt to lift her mood. “But I don’t think that comes as a surprise.”

///

When the light had gone out, Brooke hadn’t thought, she had only reacted. She hadn’t truly meant to grab Vanjie, hadn’t meant to take her into the darkest corner she could find, but they were standing there, their bodies pressed against each other, instinct taking over.

“Brock, what the fuck are you doin-”

“Sshhh.” Brooke pushed Vanjie against the wall, and the other queen groaned, their chests touching. “I didn’t think-”

“I know.” Vanjie’s breath was hot, her arms going around Brooke’s shoulders. 

They couldn’t kiss, not really, not now, not here, but Brooke felt Vanjie’s lips on her neck, the plush, warm lips she had gotten so used to kissing leaving gentle pecks all over her skin, and even though Brooke could feel the steel boning of Vanjie’s corset, it was still the hottest thing she had felt since arriving. 

“Fuck…” Brooke knew her skin was getting covered in glitter, knew there was no time to wash it off, but she was going to the back of the stage, and none of it mattered. Brooke grabbed Vanjie’s thigh, hosting her up, the others gently biting her ear.

“How are you real?”

Brooke groaned, Vanjie’s thigh thick and delicious, not an inch of padding on them like Brooke had expected, and as they stood so closely together, bodies pressed against one another, it felt so very right.

“Brooke! Vanjie, are you out here?”

They both groaned, the assistants of course doing a round up of everyone.

“Maybe,” Vanjie whispered against Brooke’s neck. “if we just stay-” 

“I can hear you guys!”

They both started laughing, Vanjie’s attempted whisper not succeeding at all, and Brooke loved every second of it.


	7. Chapter 7

The worst part of Drag Race wasn’t the excruciatingly long hours in high heels. It wasn’t getting filmed every moment of every day, a camera following you where you went. 

It wasn’t the 14 hour days, the questionable catering, how it tore you to pieces both physically and mentally and forced you to expose the deepest parts of yourself.

No.

The worst part of Drag Race, was spending the weekends locked in a hotel room.

Vanjie was so bored he was exercising. Squads, pushups, crunches, the whole shebang, and he still felt like he was going out of his mind.

It was like he was a kid again, trapped in his room over a prank gone wrong, little Jose more often than not getting into some serious trouble with his brothers as they caused mischief around the neighborhood. 

He was lying on the bed, his head hanging off the side as he looked out the window, feeling so bored he was sure his brain was attempting to liquify and run out of his ear.

Vanjie had been watching the clouds, the white cotton balls at least a bit more interesting than scrolling through the available boring movies for the third time, when Vanjie realised that he had heard A’keria say that he had gone on a walk with Brooke two days ago.

Vanjie sat up, an idea popping into his head. He jumped off the bed, hurrying to the door, where he pulled the door handle, for a minute forgetting that it was locked.

“Yo!” Vanjie banged his palm on the door, hoping that their floor assistant was just outside.“Anyone out there?!”

///

Brooke was attempting to plaster his nailless toe, the thing most of all looking like a cocktail sausage that had been through a shredder, weeks of drag really not helping the recovery, when he saw a piece of paper slip under his door.

Brooke picked it up, the piece of paper giving off a familiar scent of cologne, and Brooke turned it over to see an unfamiliar childish scrawl. 

_ I ain’t allowed to come see you :((((((( _

Brooke read it again, a chuckle escaping him over how the multiple chins had been drawn out with increasing frustration.

He was surprised that Vanjie had even asked, Brooke decision from the first time they had kissed that it would be too dangerous for them to request anything that could draw productions attention to them.

They had somehow managed to fly under the radar so far, had somehow managed to not catch Ru’s interest, though Brooke didn’t know if it was from a lack of caring, or from the fact that he didn’t actually know.

Brooke looked around his room, before grabbed one of the books he had brought along, tearing the title page of it out.

_ And that’s why you’re writing a note? _

Brooke pushed the paper under the door, waiting for a moment before he saw it get snatched up. He sat down, since he had nothing better to do, his eyes glued to the slim crack, until he saw a new piece of white paper appear.

_ aint they given you no normal paper??? you better write something longer if we smuggling this prison style or caroline is breaking the law for shit you lucky she loves me _

Brooke blushed slightly, the thought of answering on the same page not even crossing his mind since he wanted to keep it.

_ Any plans for tonight? _

Brooke could hear Caroline awh on the other side of the door, the knowledge that she read their notes sitting strangely in his stomach, but it was worth it as he got Vanjie’s reply.

_ why you asking for my plans? wanna take me on a date?  _

Brooke laughed, the almost aggressive tone so like Vanjie.

_Maybe. _Brooke wrote the words out, his cheeks heating. He had never asked anyone on a date before and really meant it, the situation oddly formal, even though they were communicating on pieces of paper that were pushed under locked doors. _We could_ _watch a movie?_

_ How the fuck we gonna watch a movie together? _

Brooke was just about to reply, when another piece was pushed under, Vanjie apparently banging for Carolines attention since he had something to add.

_ You wanna start it at the same time. Got it. Uno problemo Mami. ive gone seen every good movie they got in this place already. _

Brooke laughed, everything about the note so quintessential what he knew of Vanjie. He almost hoped that Vanjie was lying though, the preselected menu they could rent from filled with both old and new movies, as well as several classics, so unless Vanjie never slept, there was no way he could have watched every movie Brooke considered good already. 

They hadn’t had the chance to talk about TV and movies, their time together so precious and short that Brooke didn’t want to use it talking about cinema. He did however, feel warm at the thought that he actually wanted to know these things about Vanjie, and the fact that he couldn’t wait to find out more.

_ You’ve watched Anne of Green Gables? They have the 1985 movie for rental. _

_ The fuck is green gable? _

Brooke read the note, a loud, surprised and almost harsh laugh escaping him at his pure disbelieve of Vanjie’s nose. Brooke knocked on the door, a moment passing as Caroline peeled the tape away before she opened his door.

“Please don’t ask to go see him,” Caroline looked worried, and Brooke smiled. “I’m already toeing the contract.”

“Can I have some paper?”

Caroline’s eyes narrowed. “That’s all you’re going to ask for?”

“Scouts honor.” Brooke held his hand up.

Caroline smiled. “.... Sure.” 

Caroline closed the door, returning moments later with a stack, and Brooke grabbed it, rushing to the little desk in his room to write down everything he remembered about one of his childhood favorite films.

///

Brooke looked up from shaving his face, when he heard a knock on the door, followed by the sound of it opening. One of the other floor assistants came in, Brooke vaguely recognising her as someone who was maybe called Kelsey.

“Hey.” Kelsey was holding three shopping bags in her hands.

“What’s up?” Brooke watched her, not sure what was going on.

“So-” Kelsey bit her lip, and Brooke got the sense that she might have lost some sort of draw, which was why she was there. “Remember when we talked about your clothes?

“Yes?”

“It’s come to our attention that production sees it as a problem that you wear the same thing all the time.”

“Oh…” Brooke stood still, not really believing what he heard Kelsey say. He could feel panic bubbling in his chest, the panic from when he couldn’t wear his leather jacket not anywhere near the closing he felt of his throat now. “I.. I didn’t bring anything else-”

“We know.” Kelsey held her hands out, Brooke zooming in on the bags. “That’s why I went shopping for you-”

“... What?”

“You’re a size large, right?”

///

It was another fucking design challenge.

Of course it was another fucking design challenge.

Vanjie was already sweating, the pure stress of having to work with unconventional materials already making his hands feel shaky and his head feel heavy.

The only good thing he could think of, was the fact that he had the chance to actually not get read for wearing the same silhouette by Michelle.

Everyone had rushed to the tables to grab whatever they felt drawn to, Vanjie himself grabbing all the rope he could get his hands on.

Vanjie was looking at his loot, and he felt exactly like he always did at the Mateo Household pageants. Idealess, and stressed out. Monster Ball had been bad, but for that he had at least had fabric to work from. Here, he didn’t even have that.

Alexis had told him when he had left for season 10, that it’d be over for him if he had to do an unconventional material challenge, and he had been absolutely right.

The worst thing, however, was the fact that Alexis disappointment when he had returned home after failing, had been joined by Yvie’s harsh critiques, every word he had told him echoing in his mind. 

Vanjie decided to have his breakdown later, and made his way back to the table, hoping that he would be struck by a moment of divine inspiration from gay Jesus.

Vanjie had expected the tables to be somewhat empty, but a lot of queens were still gathered around, Vanjie unsure why.

“I think this is snap peas.”

Vanjie looked over, spotting Brooke who was standing with his entire hand in a bowl of green beans.

Vanjie watched as Shuga opened his mouth, Brooke putting half of what was in his hand into it, before popping the last in his.

“Uh, that is snap peas!” Shuga smiled brightly, and Brooke laughed.

“The fuck y’all doing?”

“Eating?” Shuga raised a brow, a glint in his eyes.

“Here.” Brooke dug his hand into another bowl, holding it towards Vanjie.

“The fuck is that?” Vanjie pointed, a mess of green leaves in Brooke’s hand.

“We think it’s kale.” Shuga chimed in.

“Think or know?” 

Vanjie had no idea how they could do it, had no idea how they could just eat stuff they had no idea about, least of all when it was clearly props for their challenge.

“Does it matter?” Brooke shrugged.

“Umh, heck yes it does.” 

Brooke clearly gave it, putting his hand to his mouth, popping it all in, and Vanjie watched on in horror as Brooke chewed.

“Yup.” Brooke swallowed. “That’s raw kale alright.”

///

Brooke felt like absolute shit.

He had made his escape as soon as he could, Ru’s talk with him rattling him to the bones. 

He had been told he had no personality, and he had no idea how to fix it.

Brooke tried to lit his cigarette, the flame only lighting on the third try, his hand shaking too much. Brooke tried to breath through his nose, tried to fight off the panic attack that was trying to take him over, and he desperately wished he could talk to Steve.

“Brooke?”

Brooke looked over to where Vanjie had opened one of the stage doors, the man popping out, his own interview with Ru probably over.

“Hey.” Brooke didn’t know if he was happy or not to see Vanjie, his whole world feeling like he was underwater.

“You ok?”

Brooke nodded, unsure if he could do anything else.

“I know we don’t do this-“ 

Brooke snorted, surprise lighting a small flame in his chest that wasn’t panic, Vanjie mimicking both his words and his tone from when he had said the exact same thing a few days earlier.

“-But your ok sounds like a lie.”

Vanjie leaned against the fall, and Brooke flicked his cigarette, silence growing between them, and Brooke realised Vanjie was giving him time to open up.

“Talking to Ru is terrifying.” Brooke bit his lip, the words feeling like acid.

“Ain’t that the truth.” Vanjie huffed. “She can shake the confidence out of any ho.”

“At least you have the personality.” Brooke smiled, Vanjie a superstar that owned any room he walked into. “You got charm coming out of your ass.”

“You got personality.”

Brooke huffed, Vanjie’s words feeling like a lie.

“You do bitch!” Vanjie pushed himself off the wall, clearly almost offended that Brooke didn’t agree. “You hilarious as fuck when we kiki’ing.”

“I figured you just thought I was hot.”

Brooke had expected the conversation to die out, but instead, Vanjie buckled down.

“You hot,” Vanjie pointed at him, his hotness apparently a universal truth that couldn’t be discussed, “but that ain’t enough.”

Brooke laughed, his panic slipping away at how wonderfully ridiculous Vanjie was being. 

“Comprende?”

“Comprende.” Brooke held his hands up, a small smile playing on his lips, and Vanjie looked pleased, like he had just solved the world's most important puzzle.

///

Vanjie was attempting to focus on his dress, Yvie’s critique and pointers playing around in there, but it was hard, when he could see Brooke and Plastique out the corner of his eye.

He knew he was acting insane, knew he shouldn’t focus on it, but it was impossible when he could see Brooke and Plastique play around, Brooke clearly loving Plastique’s company.

Plastique ran a feather over Brooke’s face, and Vanjie stopped everything he was doing, freezing in place as he watched Brooke laugh and bite at the feather, Vanjie considering the penalty for throwing a spool of thread across the room.

///

Brooke was cutting fabric, and he knew he should focus, but it was hard when Vanjie was running around on the other side of the room in his underwear. His skin was on full display, lovely hot caramel, an ass Brooke wanted to bite and arms that had a surprising amount of strength in them.

///

Vanjie loved Alyssa, and he loved playing around with her. Strutting down the runway had been a joy, since Vanjie already knew that Alyssa loved his energy from working together outside of the show.

He felt vindicated, like a winner, his spirit flying high as he got off the stage and settled in to watch Brooke on the runway.

Vanjie swallowed as Brooke stepped on the stage. His energy was magnetic, and Vanjie felt his eyes glued to Brooke, unable to look away. It was regal and gorgeous, Vanjie enjoying every minute of it.

Vanjie wasn’t proud of it, but he had happily stalked Brooke at a pageant or two, making sure he could watch from the audience side, even though he’d never want Brooke to know.

“Hey.”

Brooke sat down next to Vanjie, the two of them instantly moving their chairs so they were sitting as close as they could, both of them knowing that they had done their part. 

They watched as their sisters performed, Vanjie feeling Brooke grow more and more restless.

“This is a waste of time.” Brooke whispered, Ra’jah on stage getting her critique.

“My add ass on fire over here too.” Vanjie pulled on Brooke’s leg, putting it on his lap, his fingers tapping on Brooke’s shin. “But we can’t do shit.”

“I could be hemming my dress right now.” Brooke groaned.

“Calm down Mami.” Vanjie squeezed Brooke’s leg. “Enjoy the experience.”

  
  


///

Brooke was drinking coffee with Plastique, both of them already picking up their part of the choreography. Brooke had done it in minutes, linedance really not complicated compared to the intricacies of ballet, while Plastique was a queen from the south.

“I hate this.” Brooke groaned, A’keria messing his part up yet again, none of them allowed to leave until everyone got it.

Plastique chuckled, “Look at you being grumpy.”

“I’m tired.” Brooke knew he had so much work left on his costume, drying oranges with a hairdryer taking a lot longer than he had originally anticipated.

“We’re all tired.” Plastique elbowed him, and Brooke smiled, the other queen’s good mood rubbing off on him.

///

“Shit…” Vanjie pressed her earring against her ear, the glue still not dry even though they were standing in line for the runway. They had been poured into the van so late last night they had all been napping, the assistants pulling them out of bed way before Vanjie was done sleeping. 

Most queens had skipped lunch, Vanjie one of them, her ropes refusing to play right.

“Are you okay?”

Vanjie looked up, to see Brooke stand in front of her, her makeup absolutely gorgeous.

“I’ma be fine. I just need more time.”

“Don’t we all?” 

Brooke smiled, and Vanjie wanted to kick her. 

“Shut your dumb face.”

“Ay ay captain.” Brooke turned around, walking back to her place in line, and Vanjie groaned as she realised that she could see Brooke’s ass.

“Fuck.”

///

Brooke went straight for her drink the moment she was let backstage.

She hadn’t had time to eat lunch, Brooke instead focusing on hemming her skirt, and it thankfully looked like her choice had paid off. 

She was probably not going to win, that price going to either Yvie or Plastique judging by the judges feedback, but she was safe for another week, and that’s what mattered. Most of all since it would hopefully calm the judges opinion of her as someone who was exclusively a design queen.

Brooke sat down next to Vanjie, so excited to tell her about her feedback on the runway and what Ross had said to her, when Ra’Jah arrived on the scene.

///

Vanjie knew she was temperamental. Knew she was loyal. Knew it had gotten her in a myriad of problems throughout her life, but if there was one thing she couldn’t stand, it was someone coming for her chosen family.

Silky wasn’t perfect, no one is, but Vanjie loved her, Silky was her friend, and there was no way in hell she’d stand by as Yvie read her to filth.

_ “If you don’t, if you’re not really feeling her, that’s cool.” _

///

Brooke was in her own personal version of hell. So far, her least favorite part of Drag Race had been the red couch, but this was it times a thousand.

Yvie had started talking, Silky and Yvies personalities matching horribly, and Brooke almost wished she was back to her childhood family dinners where everybody would at least shut the fuck up if they were angry. They bottled their feelings like normal people.

She didn’t know what she found the most annoying, Yvie’s consistent insistent that she never got offended by anything, or Silky’s insane delusions.

_ “Sasha Velour was safe every week.” _

Brooke regretted it the minute she opened her mouth, the argument exploding in front of her as Yvie called Silky talentless.

Brooke had seen her chance to escape with Nina, Nina smart enough to stay out of it completely, and Brooke thought she had made her way out of the fire, only to return after a smoke to hear Vanjie yell so loud it could be heard in the entire studio.

Brooke saw that someone had left a cocktail on the table, and though she would normally not approve of stealing, Brooke had never needed a drink more in her life. She took it, slurping down half as she made her way to the couch, hoping that the argument would finally calm down.

Brooke tried not to pay attention, tried to stay out of it, but she could hear in Vanjie’s voice how upset she was, the sound grating in her ears, Vanjie holding her own, but Brooke wished she didn’t have to.

_ “If we cool like I thought we was!” _

Brooke sensed the change in the argument instantly, and she stood up, walking over, Yvie all up in Vanjie’s face, and Brooke stepped between them without a word, Vanjie gripping her arm, almost causing her to drop her cocktail.

_ “No bitch!” _

Vanjie tried to push past Brooke, her anger burning bright, Silky pulling her arm, but Brooke stood firm, refusing to move, refusing to allow Vanjie to do something truly stupid.

“MOVE!”

Vanjie yelled, pushing at her, but it didn’t help, Vanjie’s anger still there even as Yvie had left the room.

“Calm dow-”

“Fuck you!” Vanjie groaned, her anger redirecting to Brooke, but Brooke simply put her arms around Vanjie, holding her tight.

“I know you’re mad-”

“You don’ know-” Vanjie wiggled, almost acting like a child that tried to get out of their parents grab.

“Cameras.”

///

_ “Cameras.” _

Vanjie froze when Brooke spoke, her words finally getting through to her. She had been so angry, was still so angry at Yvie for how she dared to lash out and hurt, that she was seething.

Vanjie burrowed her face in Brooke’s chest, doing everything her mom had ever taught her in an attempt to calm down.

///

Standing in line, waiting for the episode to be over, was pretty close to torture.

Brooke was standing at Vanjie’s side, the other queen not saying a word to her as she had walked to the back of the stage, and Vanjie was terrified that Brooke was furious with her.

Vanjie peeked over, unsure what she expected, but what she had really not thought she’d see, was Brooke swaying back and forth.

“You good?” Vanjie attempted to whisper, but Brooke didn’t respond, her eyes strangely glassy.

“Wait a second.” Vanjie hissed. “You drunk Mami?”

“A bit.” Brooke looked down at Vanjie, a smile on her face, and Vanjie felt all her worry leave her. Brooke wasn’t mad, she was just drunk. 

///

Vanjie was clenching her fist, anxious energy radiating from her.

“She’ll be fine.” 

Brooke whispered, A’keria getting ready to lipsync against Ra’Jah.

“You don’t know that shit.” 

“She’s a Davenport.” Brooke took Vanjie’s hand, holding it in her own. “She’ll make it.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Hey.” 

Vanjie looked into Silky’s wardrobe, her friend’s shoes on the floor. Vanjie hadn’t even taken her wig off, her makeup still on, but there was something that was a whole lot more important than getting out of drag. 

“You cool?” Vanjie waited for a second for a reply, but nothing came.

The red couch had been a bloodbath, Yvie popping off which meant that Vanjie had fired back in turn, the boom of her voice powering through the Werq Room, but she refused to back down when her friend was under attack.

Brooke had ended up breaking the fight yet again, and if Vanjie hadn't been so angry that her fingertips were buzzing with rage she would have felt embarrassed about the fact that her flirt had broken up yet another fight that she had gotten into. 

It was a situation she wished hadn’t happened, but there was something much more important on the line than how she looked in front of someone she made out with. 

One of her friends were hurt, and Vanjie refused to take that lying down.

“Big Silk?” Vanjie reached out, gently touching Silky’s back, the beans on the dress feeling strange under her palm.

“‘M fine.” Silky mumbled, but Vanjie could hear her dejected she was, could hear the pain in her voice, and her own heart ached for her friend.

“You talented.” Vanjie put an arm around Silky’s shoulder, pressing herself against her side and forcing her into a half hug. “Okay?”

Vanjie felt Silky touch her waist, her friend pulling her in, and Vanjie touched her head to Silky’s. 

“You talented as fuck” Vanjie shook Silky slightly, wanting, no, needing, her friend to understand that she was serious. “You got this shit Mama."

“Thanks.” 

“We ride or die.” Vanjie smiled, pressing a kiss into Silky’s temple. “We fucking ride or die.”

///

Brooke felt like he was about to topple over from pure exhaustion. Everyone had gotten undressed, the Werq Room filled with tense silence except from the lucky few who had somehow not gotten involved in the absolute crossfire that was the Silky/Vanjie/Yvie war.

Brooke had kept an eye out for Vanjie on the parking lot. Holding hands with him at the back of the main stage had been nice, but Brooke still wanted to see him, still wanted to enjoy the trip back to the hotel, which was an entirely new feeling for him. 

If it had been anyone else but Vanjie, Brooke was pretty sure he would have lost interest the second they had raised their voice, Brooke generally never ever attracted to men who had to get loud, or who loved to draw a lot of attention to themselves, and getting into fights? That was an instant boner killer.

Brooke was into the quiet, mysterious muscle type that hung out at the bar with a beer, who did weights at the gym or liked going on hikes. The type you could take for a fuck and then see three months later with no hard feelings.

Vanjie was nothing like that in any way, and yet, it didn’t actually matter to Brooke’s interest in him at all.

Brooke dropped his cigarette, stepping on it and shoving his hands in his pocket, the van behind him ready to leave, and he couldn’t pull off waiting anymore, Vanjie still inside together with Silky.

“Brock!” 

Brooke found Nina the moment he stepped into the van, his friend saving him a seat, and Brooke was once again so very grateful for the fact that Nina was in his life.

“Hey.” Brooke dumped down, Nina smiling as he moved to sit a little closer to the window. “Thanks for the seat.”

“You know you’re always welcome here.” Nina padded his shoulder quickly, the slightly awkward show of affection so like the Columbian queen. “As long as you don’t bring any drama.”

“Pinky swear.” Brooke snorted, quickly hiding his face as one of the assistants walked by as to not attract attention. 

“It almost makes you miss pageants, huh?” Brooke smirked, his voice low as he spoke to Nina. Nina holds a hand up. 

The pageant system had a rigid array of punishments for those that actively tried to sabotage their co-contestants, and Brooke was more than sure that both Silky and Yvie would have toed the line of any backstage area with how much shit they insisted on flinging at each other.

“A little,” Nina chuckled, “but only a little.”

Brooke settled in to sit with his friend in silence, even though he couldn’t help but wonder how Vanjie was feeling.

///

Vanjie was lying awake, eyes glued to the ceiling. His anger was finally dying out, his limbs no longer humming with pent up energy ready for a fight, and as always, he felt the threat of heavy regret sneaking up on his body. 

Having time to reflect was the worst part about Drag Race, and as the minutes ticked by, Vanjie felt worse and worse about his behavior, even though he would do it all over again, standing up for someone he considered a friend always worth any hurt it would inflict on himself. 

Vanjie turned over, closing his eyes and took deep breaths like his mom had taught him when he was little, sleep slowly taking him away.

///

Brooke had saved his piece of fruit from breakfast to give to Vanjie, but as he saw the other man leave the hotel, he suddenly felt stupid. 

Vanjie looked great in a black and white bomber jacket, white jeans and a grey t-shirt, and Brooke suddenly felt a bit self conscious about his own flip flops, beanie and hoodie. 

“Hey!” Brooke held up his hand, waving at Vanjie, who looked at him like he was crazy.

“.... Hey?” Vanjie’s voice sounded slightly confused, and the stupid once again washed over Brooke.

“I saved you an orange.” Brooke took the fruit out of his hoodie, holding it towards Vanjie. 

“... What?”

“From breakfast.” Brooke bit his lip. ”You like oranges, so I figured…” Brooke moved his hand slightly, wishing the earth would swallow him up. “Right?”

“I do.” Vanjie’s face broke into a smile, and Brooke felt his stomach clench, Vanjie like a tiny sun as he took the orange from Brooke’s hand, getting on his toes to give him a quick peck, their fingers brushing before they got on the bus together, Brooke’s fingertips burning hot from where they had touched.

“Who’s Silky feeling?” Brooke’s voice was low, the two of them sitting at the back of the van, but you could never know when an assistant was looking. 

“She okay.” Vanjie shrugged, his fingers digging into the orange peel. “How you feeling?” Vanjie popped a slice in his mouth, his eyes meeting Brooke’s.

“Like I would have a hangover if I was on the outside.” Brooke smirked, the chance to talk to Vanjie centering him in a strange way. He knocked their knees together, Vanjie giggling at the contact, knocking his own knees back into Brooke’s.

“Outside?” Vanjie smiled, putting the orange down on the seat, half of it eaten. “Bitch you acting like you in prison.”

Brooke snorted, Vanjie’s world so wonderfully strange. “Are we not?” Brooke smiled.

“If this is prison, we got it good.” Vanjie smirked. “I’m cool as long as I ain’t gotta make no regular degular outfits today.” 

Vanjie crossed his arms, and leaned against Brooke’s side, Brooke instantly throwing an arm over Vanjie’s shoulder, holding him close. He smelled different, a heavy aroma hanging around the other man, and Brooke lowered his head, smelling Vanjie’s neck.

“The fuck you doing?”

Brooke would have blushed, if he wasn’t so interested in the mystery, Vanjie’s scent completely different. “What smell are you wearing?” Brooke looked up, his lips against Vanjie’s neck. 

“This you flirting?” Vanjie twisted his upper body, the two of them now sitting chest to chest, Vanjie’s leg over his lap.

“What if it is?” Brooke smiled, the air thick around them.

Vanjie chuckled, his fingers grabbing the neck of Brooke’s shirt and pulling him down for a kiss.

///

“So how it feels to be an idiot?” A’keria smirked, and Vanjie elbowed her side, the other queen grunting with the pain, but Vanjie knew she thought it was worth it.

“I don’t forget my name!” Vanjie hissed out between her teeth, Plastique taking pictures with Ru.

“You don’t?” A’keria whispered, a giant smile on her lips. “cause it sure sounded like it!”

“Bitch shut up.” Vanjie chuckled, A’kerias bright mood infectious, the challenge for the day yet to be presented, and Vanjie was flying high on the fact that she had managed to entertain Ru and make him laugh.

///

Snatch Game.

They were doing Snatch Game.

Fucking Snatch Game. The worst challenge of them all, and Brooke felt like dying.

He had always imagined he’d do Caitlynn Jenner if he ever got on Snatch Game, had practiced it in the mirror at home in Nashville when the fantasy had really taken him there, but as he stood in the actual Werq Room, Brooke didn’t dare do it.

Caitlynn was too controversial, and he didn’t want to risk the fans tearing him apart in case they misunderstood his portrayal of the trans woman. 

Brooke had peeked over at Vanjie several times, looking for a chance to go over there without A’keria or Silky around, anxiety itching up his spine. 

Brooke would have gone to Nina, but he knew, was absolutely sure that Nina was slaying this, that Nina deserved to slay it, and Brooke really didn’t need any overconfident energy in his life right now.

Brooke bit his lip, A’keria walking away and he decided that there wouldn’t be a better time for him to see Vanjie before the walk through happened, camera’s be damned.

“Hey boo boo.” Brooke leaned against Vanjie, the other man turning his shaver off.

“Hey.” Brooke kissed Vanjie’s cheek, his hand resting on his shoulder as he sat down, Vanjie instantly reacting to his energy, his entire attention turning towards Brooke. 

“How are you?” Vanjie looked at him, his brown eyes settling on Brooke.

Brooke bit his lip, his breath catching in his throat for a minute, but then, he took the invitation for what it was. A genuine question of how he was feeling.

“I’m just, I don’t do a lot of characters ever.”

Vanjie nodded, and Brooke almost smiled, the fact that Vanjie knew of his pageant career always feeling like a teeny tiny golden secret that was his and his alone. 

“It just feels like a mental block. It just like-” Brooke did a vomit motion, his stomach actually threatening to spill his breakfast if he thought about it too much. “Sucks.”

Vanjie reached out, touching his knee under the table. “Who are you gonna do?”

“I think I’m gonna do Celine Dion…” 

It was the only backup Brooke had been able to think of, the only thing he had packed for, and even if he had had other options, he wasn’t like Nina or Silky. He wasn’t someone who could just pull something out of his ass and make it amazing. 

He simply didn’t have the personality, and it fucking sucked.

“Celine Dion?” Vanjie asked, his tone sassy, a smile on his face. “Is that your final answer?” 

Brooke was just about to open his mouth to respond, when he caught Vanjie’s eye and they both started giggling. Vanjie threw himself against Brooke’s chest, clearly apologizing, pressing a kiss against Brooke’s cheek, and Brooke laughed, actually laughed, for the first time since the challenge was announced.

///

Vanjie felt desperation slowly inch under his skin, but he refused to give in.

His walkthrough had kinda gone like shit, but he wasn’t going to not trust his gut. The judges loved Vanjie, they had told him that several times, and he couldn’t do anything but deliver who he was. 

He had seen Brooke flail, had seen Yvie and Plastique worry as well, but he wasn’t going to think about anyone but himself. 

Silky was back at 120%, the other running around acting a fool, and even though the more logical part of Vanjie’s mind knew that he should probably worry, he wasn’t going to. 

Vanjie allowed himself to be swept up in Silky’s energy, trusting in his instinct and letting his sisters good mood take him along. 

///

Brooke’s only saving grace should have been the fact that she already knew Jinkx, that she had worked with her before, but somehow, it had only made everything so much worse.

Brooke had popped a xanax before Ru had made his walkthrough, the pill the only reason she hadn’t cried, and as soon as it was over she had taken a second, the urge to vomit or start hyperventilating rushing through her body.

No one who was present at the competition had ever seen her have a panic attack, and Brooke so desperately wished that one of her nearest and dearest was there. That she could allow Steve’s giant arms to hold her tight, to rest her head on Angela’s shoulder, hide herself in Courtney’s hair or even have Aurora stroke her back, but she was all alone, and there was no way around this, except through it.

Brooke took a drag of her cigarette, her ability to quickly get into makeup normally a blessing, but today it was a curse as she was left with even more time to consider all the things that could go wrong, her anxious mind racing ahead, her fingers completely numb.

“Brooke! Break’s over!”

Brooke remember being called back in the Werq Room, nothing else registering to her after that.

///

Snatch Game had fucking sucked.

Vanjie felt dejected and ridiculous, her only saving grace the fact that Yvie had flatlined completely, and that Brooke, his dear Brooke, had fucked up fully. 

They were given an early afternoon at the hotel, everyone exhausted as they made their way towards the vans. Vanjie had tried to make eye contact with Brooke in the Werq Room, but he had ignored him, Brooke looking like he was off in his own world, the Canadian keeping to himself even in the van, Brooke sitting right in the front in a solo seat, his eyes glued on the window, and Vanjie watched him the entire way home.

///

_ You okay? _

Brooke saw the note get pushed under his door. They had gotten the option of either eating in a group or in their room, and Brooke desperately needed to be alone. The note smelled slightly like Vanjie, the chicken scrawl on it one he had gotten to know quite well, and even though he felt like absolute shit, it made him smile a little.

_ No. You? _

Brooke sat with his back against the door, eating the rice dish that had been offered by the hotel, when the note was returned to him.

_ what you think? bitch I’m competing in the poop olympics - not that you did smoking either - your Celine Dion was Celine Dont-On _

Brooke snorted, Vanjie’s stupid joke actually helping his mood a little. He flipped the paper to write a reply, when he saw that Vanjie had written on the back.

_ You funny hot stuff. The world don’t need no more crappy comedians when they can have a canadian barbie ballerina.  _

Brooke smiled and he stood up, the note getting tucked into a book with the other notes he had saved, each one carefully put between the pages so Brooke knew he could take them home.

_ Thanks _

///

“Hey.” Vanjie looked up to see Brooke sit down besides him, the other man in his green sweater, the grey beanie and short shorts.

“So you ain’t ignoring me today?” Vanjie smiled, half joking since they had chatted back and forth on their notes until Caroline had kicked both of them to bed, but Brooke froze, his eyes going wide, Vanjie practically seeing the wheels turning until he realized how he had acted in the van the day before. 

“Shit…” Brooke bit his lip. “Sorry.”

“It okay.” Vanjie smiled a little, touching Brooke’s knee. “I think we’re all pretty fucked up from yesterday.”

“I-” Brooke turned, his body effectively boxing Vanjie in, and he wondered for a minute if Brooke actually knew, if he understood how intimidating and intoxicating he could be. “If I go home today, I wan-” 

“Bitch-” Vanjie cut Brooke off, putting a hand over his mouth. “Don’t even say that kinda juju, okay?”

Brooke nodded, and Vanjie smiled, kissing on top of his own hand, Brooke laughing behind it.

///

“It was real cool of you to say sorry to Yvie.” A’keria touched Vanjie’s back, the two of them walking to the main stage. 

“You think?” Vanjie had said sorry, had meant it, the fact that she had popped off like that not okay at all. 

“If they send you home today-” A’keria scratched lightly with her nails, Vanjie leaning into it. “You needa know you one of the best bitches here.”

///

_ While you untuck backstage, the judges and I will deliberate _

Vanjie didn’t even make it backstage before she had made a dive for her tote bag, pulling her iPod out and looking for the song. Her critique had sucked, and there was no way she wasn’t going to lipsync. 

Everyone else gathered on the couch, but Vanjie stayed behind, combing through her wig, the music on repeat in her ear, Alexis words running through her mind that she wasn’t going to give up, the only time she took a break to get tissues for Yvie.

If Vanjie had to lipsync against Brooke, she’d have to lipsync against Brooke, but she didn’t want to, the other queen fucking intimidating as a competitor, but Vanjie had never taken anything lying down, and there was no way she was going to go without a fight. 

///

Walking back to the stage, Brooke had never felt more calm. She knew she was lip syncing, and even though it should scare her, this was also what she did. She lip synced as her job seven times a week, dance at the very core of who she was, and one of the few things that Brooke didn’t doubt at all that she could do if she was allowed to choreograph her own routine.

The only thing she worried about was if she was lip syncing against Vanjie or against Yvie. She didn’t want to do either, but for very different reasons. Brooke was scared of Yvie as a competitor, but with Vanjie, she was worried if she’d still like her after competing head to head, so many of the people in Brooke’s life pushing her aside after she had shown how willing she was to do whatever it took.

It would suck if she lost Vanjie, but she wasn’t going to back down, wasn’t going to give up, even if she had bulldoze the first man she had been genuinely interested in for years.

///

_ Shantay, you both stay _

Vanjie felt like she had nearly popped a lung yelling, jumping up and down in place as Yvie and Brooke had hugged, happiness coursing over her body as Brooke was declared safe.

Brooke was safe safe safe safe and that meant they got other week together, another week in the crazy prison that was Drag Race, and that Brooke still had a shot at the crown.

They got off stage, the last notes of Rock It playing, and Vanjie turned around, barely two steps down the stairs, her cape flying behind her as she threw herself in Brooke’s arms, the other damp, warm and smelling of sweat, but it didn’t matter, it didn’t matter at all as she got to hug Brooke tight, barely even reaching her middle because of the stairs and their height difference.

Vanjie felt Brooke’s back bend, an arm under her ass, and suddenly, she was lifted, Brooke carrying her like she weighed nothing, Vanjie’s arms going around Brooke’s neck.

“Hey…” Brooke smiled, but Vanjie could see the tears in her eyes, the confidence that she had exceeded on stage finally shattering, pieces of Brock peeking through Brooke Lynn’s armor.

“Hey.” Vanjie smiled back, leaning forward a little, both of them kissing as Plastique yelled for Brooke to stop blocking the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

Under normal circumstances Vanjie didn’t exactly mind the waiting that always took place as the last of Untucked was filmed. 

Sure, it wasn’t very comfortable to wait around in drag, and if the queen that had been eliminated that week was a messy one, it could take ages for them to clean up their station, but it was okay, or at least, it used to be.

Vanjie felt like she was vibrating out of her skin, the wait for Brooke to return from the backstage practically torture.

An assistant had pried them apart, Vanjie not even noticing that there hadn’t been a single camera around until Shuga had pointed it out with a smile, but all she had wanted to do was kiss her man, everything else not mattering at all.

Vanjie didn’t exactly know when she had started to fully think of Brooke as her man, but as she had stood at the back of the stage, her hands on her head, her heart beating away in her chest, something in her had shifted. 

She liked Brooke. Really, really, really liked her, and she was so happy that they got another week together.

Vanjie was sitting on one of the werq room tables, swinging her legs back and forth, her eyes glued to the door, her heart in her throat, when she felt something tap against her thigh.

“I know you got the whole love struck fool thing going on-”

Vanjie looked down to see Silky, her friend bumping a salad container against Vanjie’s thigh.

“- but you gotta eat.”

“I ain’t hungry.”

“If you think I give two fucks about that-” Silky smiled. “You real wrong.” 

“Let the fool be a fool.” A’keria chimed in, Vanjie focusing on her other friend. “She a bitch in love. She allowed to act dumb.” A’kerias eyes sparkled with mischief.

“You just jealous.” Vanjie crossed her arms, the good natured teasing a reason why she loved her dream girls so very much.

“I mean-” Silky smirked, “I would be, cause your boos not the worst looking-”

“Not the worst?” Vanjie snapped. “You blind? You seen how good he look-” Vanjie was just about to fire off, but A’keria snickered, Vanjie realising where she actually was, the heat in her chest dying out instantly as Silky continued talking. 

“But you do realise that the entire ass production saw that shit? You might be kissing in the corners-”

“Smacking in the van.” A’keria wiggled her eyebrows, and Vanjie puffed out her chest. 

“But they gonna get you now, so you better clap stuff of“ Silky looked up at Vanjie, her gaze more than serious. “I may not know everything, but whatever you two got going on? That a TV storyline if I ever saw one-”

“We’re not lying-” Vanjie bristled, Silky’s words feeling like a slap.

“I know you not sis.” Silky elbow Vanjie’s thigh. “I know you not, but those cameras?” Silky pointed. “They don’t, so put on your big girl panties, and talk to your boo.”

///

“You got a minute?”

Brooke looked over at Vanjie, light floating out behind him as he was standing in the door of the studio. 

They had filmed the red couch segment, Brooke still not truly believing that he was safe, the fact that he had actually survived Snatch Game still feeling like a fever dream.

He had been the first to dedrag, the need for a smoke pulling him outside where he was usually joined by his sisters one by one as they got ready, but today, Vanjie was the second one out. 

“Sure?” Brooke bit his lip, Vanjie’s tone so very different from how the other man usually spoke. He dropped his cigarette, stepping on it. 

“So, umh…” Vanjie showed his hands in his pockets and Brooke felt a sense of discomfort crawl up his spine, Vanjie truly acting strange now that he got a look of his face, the air between them nervous and crackling, and Brooke blurted out the first thing that was on his mind. 

“Are you not happy that I’m staying?”

“What?” Vanjie’s eyes widened. “That’s not- Bitch, the fuck you thinking that for?” Vanjie almost looked offended, and Brooke smiled, the worst of his worry disappearing.

“You’re acting strange, so I figured you were maybe hoping to get rid of me-” Brooke hated saying the words, but his anxiety had already taken over, convincing him that Vanjie had regretted ever even looking at him. 

“We kissed in front of everyone.”

Brooke felt a surge in his chest, holding Vanjie in his arms after he had slayed the lipsync still singing under his skin.

“We did.” Brooke felt his heart beat faster, his mind feeling like fireworks that were going off, the entire conversation so uncomfortable that Brooke almost wanted to run, but something kept him in his place, Vanjie’s eyes locked on him.

“If they ask…” Vanjie took a deep breath. “What are we?”

It was the last question Brooke had expected, and one he truly did not have a good answer for.

“Really good friends?” 

Brooke had hoped that it would prove to be right, but as soon as he saw Vanjie’s face, he knew that it was not the answer Vanjie had hoped for, the words they had shared weeks ago apparently no longer enough.

“That all I am to you?” Vanjie bit his lip, his eyes filled with hurt.

“I’m not going to throw the competition.” Brooke blurted it out, the expectations, even the thought that Vanjie could expect that from him making him feel like he was drowning.

“Throw the-” Vanjie cut himself off. “Who the fuck crawled up your ass and died?” 

Vanjie looked almost angry. 

“I ain’t asking you to throw no damned competition, I came here to compete for me.”

“That’s not what I-”

“- I ain’t some helpless hoe that can’t fight his own damned fights!”

Brooke didn’t even think as he grabbed Vanjie’s wrists, slamming the other man up against the brick wall of the studio, his arms over his head, their lips meeting in a fierce and fast kiss. Vanjie responding, giving as good as he got, putting up a fight that Brooke was almost scared he was losing. 

“Ow!” Brooke pulled back, Vanjie biting his lip.

“If you think-” Vanjie looked directly into Brooke’s eyes, fire lit in his gaze. “That I’m some bitch you gotta save, you can kindly show your head up your ass.”

Brooke took a shaky breath, actually hearing the words from Vanjie making him realise how desperately he had needed them. Vanjie didn’t expect anything from him, didn’t want him to do something he couldn’t, the two of them still competitors first and foremost, and Vanjie had never seemed sexier to Brooke. 

“I’d never dare.”

///

_ “Did you pull her titties out?” _

Vanjie laughed loudly, Silky hurrying away, hands over his chest as they walked into the werq room.

Vanjie was flying high, the feeling of Brooke’s hands still on his body from last night. They had been interrupted by the crew while they had been kissing up against the wall, Vanjie’s legs around Brooke’s hips, their lips fused together. 

It had been stupidly hot, Vanjie’s jeans actually hurting as they had made their way back to the hotel, his hard dick against the denim of his pants not at all made better by the fact that Brooke was sitting next to him, heat radiating from him as he so clearly tried to behave, one of the assistants watching them the entire time.

Vanjie had come gasping into his pillow, two fingers up his ass, his fist pulling his dick, thoughts of Brooke, of his scent, his heat and his taste all swirling around his mind until he had had no choice but to follow his bodies desire.

“Maybe?” Brooke looked over his shoulder, a big smile on his face as he laughed. Brooke reached back, grabbing his hip, and Vanjie swallowed at how easily Brooke’s palm covered him, his fingers grabbing his belt loop and pulled him forward as Vanjie clutched Brooke’s arm.

Vanjie had no idea if Brooke knew how demanding he was, how dominant he could be, but Vanjie absolutely loved it.

He hadn’t exactly followed Silky’s advice, hadn’t actually talked to Brooke about what they were to each other, what it meant that the competition had gotten so serious, but for the moment, Vanjie didn’t care, the promise in Brooke’s kisses so much greater than his words of really good friends, and Vanjie was clinging to that kiss, knowing that he had to follow wherever that went.

///

_ “Why y’all hoes ain’t laughing!” _

_ “You’re not funny bitch!” _

It wasn’t really much of a surprise to Brooke that Vanjie didn’t do well in a reading challenge, the other man hilarious to be around, but it was a natural charm, something that came from the very core of who he was.

It was a talent, and a pure one at that, but it was also one of those that couldn’t be forced to perform on a schedule, and Brooke was once again so very thankful for the fat stack of classic reads he had paid his Nashville sisters to come up with for him before he had even entered the season.

Vanjie slipped in next to him, the other man prickly like a porcupine, annoyed energy radiating from him and Brooke smiled to himself.

“You better wipe down that attitude.”

Brooke snorted, looking straight ahead as the camera crew prepared for the next girl to take center stage, Ru getting a bottle of water. 

“I’m not doing anything.”

“We all know I ain’t no comedy queen-“ Vanjie crossed his arms.

“Not really no” Brooke smirked, looking at Vanjie for the first time, which probably earned him a step on his foot, Brooke groaning deeply as Vanjie had hit his nailless big toe dead on.

///

_ “Now the only reason I keep kissing you, is because it’s the only way to get you to shut the fuck up.” _

_ “I’ll take that!”  _

Vanjie’s heart was hammering away in his chest, Brooke’s bold declaration, the smugness on his face, his ownership of their kisses all filling him with absolute glee. It didn’t even matter that Brooke had said that he could never keep his mouth shut, that fact one Vanjie had heard since birth, no, what truly mattered was that Brooke had just dared to make a joke about them in front of Ru, and he had done it with total confidence.

///

_ “Miss Vanjie Mateo. Last season you had your 20 minutes of fame, but this season, all you leaving with this time, is Brooke Lynn’s last name.” _

Vanjie screamed so loud that Brooke was almost scared for the fate of his eardrum for a moment, Vanjie snapping his fingers and laughing loudly at A’keria’s read. Brooke had dropped his own jaw, A’keria a true sniper whenever he went in for the kill, and Brooke loved that about his sister. 

Vanjie put an arm around Brooke, cuddling into his side as A’keria utterly destroyed Silky. 

In any other circumstances, if it had been with anyone else, Brooke was sure he would have run away in a panic, other people joking about his private business usually setting every alarm clock off in his head, but with Vanjie, it was somehow okay, Vanjie’s shining pride at every jab that was thrown their way keeping Brooke calm and happy.

///

“Hey you 80s looking porn star.”

“Herfh-”

Vanjie smirked as Brooke choked on his soup, the other man coughing as Vanjie sat down next to him, his plate once again only filled with bread since production kept insisting on feeding them gross ass things like tomato soup.

“Hi to you too-” Brooke smiled, his cheeks slightly red from how much he had just coughed. Brooke grabbed Vanjie’s leg under the table, Vanjie smiling to himself at the immediate attention.

“You ready to slay it with Nina?”

“I hope so…” Brooke bit his lip. They hadn’t gotten their manuscripts yet, production learning their lesson during Farm to Runway where everyone had practically skipped dinner. 

“Are you mad that we’re not-”

“The only thing I’m mad about is that you didn’t put my ass with Big Silks, but you a pageant queen.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Vanjie raised an eyebrow, and Brooke snorted. “Okay, maybe it was a very conscious choice that I didn’t put you with Silky.”

“You gonna do what you gotta do to get ahead.” Vanjie shrugs. “We in this to win this.”

“So it’s okay? That we’re not working together?”

“We cute, but we both know you ain’t funny for shit.” Vanjie smiled.

“Me?” Brooke laughed. “Say that to the winner of the challenge baby.”

“Don’t count when the only reason your ass is winning is that everybody else sucks more.”

  
  


///

Brooke was so stressed she couldn’t even smoke. She was just leaning against the wall, trying to breath through her nose. Normally, it was a blessing that Brooke was quick to get into drag, but on a day like today, it felt like a curse.

She had finished eons before everyone else, Nina asking if she wanted to run it all over one more time, but Brooke knew that they had done what they could.

It was up to Nina’s talents, and Brooke’s dance background to carry them through.

///

Vanjie tried to smile as the judges gave her her critique, tried not to show them how affected she was by the fact that neither Ru nor Michelle had liked what she had attempted to do at all.

Vanjie had no idea why, but something hadn’t worked out during their sketch, her and Plastique trying their very best to do everything they could to make it at least somewhat funny, but the entire scene had simply gone up in smoke. 

///

Brooke grumbled to herself as she made her way back from the bathroom. She had tried so hard not to drink any liquids during the entire day since she was wearing a bodysuit, but she had been unable to keep it in, her trip to the toilet taking up most of Untucked.

Brooke was so happy she had gotten the chance to praise Nina on stage, the other queen somehow getting her through the challenge, the two of them working through it together, and Brooke was sure she wouldn’t have been able to do it without Nina.

Brooke turned the corner, almost back at the backstage, when she spotted Vanjie who was standing against the wall, iPad in her ear, and Brooke immediately felt bad.

She had been so caught up in her own emotions, had been so completely drained after performing yesterday and from attempting to calm Nina’s emotions that she hadn’t even noticed how Vanjie was doing or how Vanjie was feeling.

“Are you okay?”

Vanjie looked up, her eye makeup absolutely flawless as always, but she looked genuinely sad, and absolutely defeated. 

“I’m just… I’m just frustrated with myself.” Vanjie took a deep breath. “I try so hard-”

Brooke could hear the frustrations in Vanjie’s voice, could recognise the same worry she had heard on the stage come out of the man that she liked so very much. 

“I don’t think anybody doubts that you try.”

“Don’t matter if it ain’t enough.” Vanjie kicked the ground.

“Jose-” Brooke reached out, gently touching her shoulder. “You’re more than enough.”

Vanjie nodded, not even meeting Brooke’s eyes. It was the first time that Vanjie hadn’t paid complete attention to her, and while Brooke realised that she selfishly missed it, it also seemed that Vanjie needed to be left alone.

“I’m here if you need me.” Brooke squeezed Vanjie’s shoulder. “Comprende?”

Vanjie snorted.

“Comprende asshole.”

Brooke laughed, giving Vanjie a brief peck before she released her, leaving the other queen to the feelings she clearly needed to work through on her own. 

///

_ “Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, shantay you stay.” _

Vanjie almost felt her knees buckle, relief rushing through her. She hated that she had just sent Plastique home, but she had done it. 

She had fought for her place, and she was staying in the competition, right where she belonged, and she was going to show the judges that she was serious, Silky’s voice in her head telling her that she’d defend herself until the very end.

///

Brooke’s heart skipped a beat as Vanjie stepped down onto her side of the stage. The fact that Vanjie got to stay felt like a gift, and Brooke fully understood now why Vanjie had been so desperate to give her a hug, why she had clung to her like her life depended on it two days ago.

Brooke felt Vanjie’s lips against her cheek, the other smelling of sweat, her breath hot, her body probably overheated inside the latex suit, but Vanjie had destroyed Plastique, and Brooke couldn’t be prouder, even though she was already missing Plastique. 

“I told you you’d be safe.” Brooke whispered, Ru talking to Plastique on the front of the stage.

“Shut up.” Vanjie reached out, taking Brooke’s hand, their fingers intertwined, Brooke holding on tight. 


	10. Chapter 10

“Ow-“ Brooke’s hand flew to his brow, pain shooting through him, his palm hitting Vanjie’s fingers on the way to his face.

Brooke and Vanjie where sitting in the back of the van, the queens now so few that they could all fit in one vehicle. 

“Bitch sit still!” Vanjie growled, pushing at Brooke to move his hand so he could continue his mission, A’keria snorting from the seat in front of them over their shenanigans.

“It hurts!” Brooke groaned, knowing that he sounded whiney but Vanjie laughed, his eyes crinkling, his nose wrinkling in the most adorable way.

“You little asshole.” Brooke grabbed Vanjie’s knee, his legs already in his lap, pulling him that little bit closer the other man so close their chests were practically touching.

“You want glitter in those brows or not?” Vanjie smirked, and Brooke rolled his eyes.

“Fine.” Brooke leaned his head back against his seat, closing his eyes as Vanjie’s fingers continued to pick at the specks of glitter that Brooke had missed while taking off his makeup.

Vanjie’s fingers were dry and warm against his skin, his nails scratching him every once in a while, the spice of Vanjie’s cologne filling Brooke’s nostrils, the weight on his legs in his lap comforting in their very own way. 

Physical closeness had never been a problem for him, but this wasn’t just physical, Brooke feeling like he was drowning in everything Vanjie, the seance almost too intimate. 

Brooke wondered if he should be freaking out, that he should feel scared, but all he could focus on was how extremely nice it felt, the intimacy absolutely addicting.

“Done!”

Vanjie pulled away, his fingers gliding down to Brooke’s chin and Brooke opened his eyes, his body practically limp with how relaxed he was feeling, his hands almost tingling. 

It took him a second to focus, to pull back to reality, but as soon as he did, he was met with the sight of Vanjie, the man looking at him with a giant shiteating grin on his face, his eyes sparkling with delight and warmth.

“Hey hot stuff.”

Brooke snorted, but he turned his head, Vanjie’s hand still resting on his face, and Brooke kissed his palm, a gasp coming from the other man. 

Their eyes met and Brooke kissed Vanjie’s skin again, his mouth falling open, a shiver running through his body, and Brooke could see how absolutely affected the other man was.

Brooke pulled away slowly, sitting up straight, his hand grabbing Vanjie’s hip as he pressed their chests together, their faces so close Brooke could feel the warmth of Vanjie’s breath.

Brooke had barely emptied his cocktail during Untucked, but he still felt drunk, Vanjie’s attention almost like a drug. Vanjie had a power over him, an ability to make him feel sexy in a whole new way, like he was strong and powerful, like he could be someone Vanjie wanted, like he could be the one Vanjie wanted to keep.

Brooke leaned in, their lips touching, and he felt Vanjie moan deeply into his mouth. 

///

Vanjie moaned, Brooke holding him so close he couldn’t move, and it was absolutely perfect. 

Their chests were pressed together, every little shift between them causing Vanjie’s shirt to rub against his nipples, Vanjie’s entire body kicked into a sensitivity overdrive.

Vanjie felt Brooke’s hand on his hip move, his fingers digging into his skin and Vanjie hoped that it would leave marks, a thrill running up his spine at the thought, at the chance that he would have physical confirmation that all of this is real.

Vanjie was hot all over, his body melting, and without thinking, his brain officially liquid, he reached for Brooke’s sweats, his fingers catching on the elastic.

“Mmh?”

Brooke tried to pull back, a surprised noise and a broken moan mixed together, but Vanjie grabbed his shoulder with his other hand, everything in him refusing to give up, everything in Vanjie chasing the intense pleasure he was feeling.

“Let me-” Vanjie moaned. “Mami I’ma-”

Vanjie’s hand finally got inside Brooke’s pants, his fingers connecting with velvet skin, when they were interrupted.

“Oh FUCK no!”

Brooke and Vanjie flew apart, Vanjie’s hand stuck in Brooke’s pants, Silky’s voice booming through the van.

“No no no!”

Silky’s hand reached between them, pushing Vanjie’s face back.

“You bitches better forget that plan, cause I ain’t standing for no van handjob on my watch!”

///

“AH!”

Brooke came, endorphins washing over his body as his cum disappeared down the drain. He was leaning against the wall, one hand flat on the tiles, warm water washing over him.

He had been rock hard the entire ride back to the hotel, his dick thankfully calming down to a chubby as he had gotten up to get to his room.

The walk had been halfway humiliating, the other queens snickering at his troubles, but it was all worth it when he had caught Vanjie’s eyes in the elevator, the other mans faze lingering on the bulge in his sweats for the entire ride, Brooke going directly for the shower as soon as he made it to his room.

“Ha- ha-“ 

Brooke groaned, the last aftershocks rocking through him before he released his grip of his dick and he stood up straight.

Brooke chuckled to himself as he put his hand under the spray, washing it off. His body was pleasantly tingly, thoughts of Vanjie still lingering in his mind, everything quiet in the way it only was after a really good orgasm, and Brooke felt absolutely content.

///

Vanjie was humming to himself as he made it down to the van, his spirit high. 

They had done acting challenges two times in a row, and even though Vanjie hadn’t gone to school for math, it seemed mathematically impossible that they would be doing one again so soon. Everything in him hoped for a dancing challenge, or really anything where he didn’t have to construct, or do improve, and he had high hopes that luck was on his side.

Vanjie had picked one of his cuter outfits for the day, his white jeans hugging his ass just right, his pink t-shirt just lose enough that someone as tall as Brooke could easily look down it.

“Morning.” Brooke was sitting in the front of the van, a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Hey.” Vanjie gives Brooke a brief peck, the familiarity of it absolutely delicious. “Why we sitting in front?”

Brooke nodded his head, and Vanjie looked to the back of the van, where Silky was sitting in the middle of the back row, his arms crossed over his stomach, his stink eye locked, loaded and pointed directly at them.

“Ah.” Vanjie sat down, the van pulling out and into the barley moving LA morning traffic.

“Ah indeed.” Brooke smirked, and he took a sip of his coffee.

“Why you looking so smug?” Vanjie couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was different, Brooke practically radiating content, the man feeling more relaxed then Vanjie had ever experienced him. 

“Smug?” Brooke raised an eyebrow, the smirk still lingering on his face, and Vanjie huffed.

“You glowing.” 

“Well.” Brooke put a hand on Vanjie’s thigh, the touch hot and way higher than it had any right to be when they had a full day ahead. 

“I had a very, very-“ Brooke smiled, and Vanjie felt his breath catch, the energy between them already sissling. “- nice shower last night.”

“Wha-“ Vanjie didn’t understand, the hotel showerheads good, but not that fantastic. 

The penny dropped however, when he looked into Brooke’s eyes, the teasing glint and the happy satisfaction telling him everything he needed to know.

“Oh-“ and Vanjie blushed furiously, his mind overflowing with pictures of Brooke touching himself, Vanjie crossing his legs since one of the assistants were sitting right across from them.

///

_ “Speaking of others. Oh pit crew!” _

Brooke watched as the Pit Crew walked in, all of them ripped and oiled up. 

The other queens were hollering, all of them yelling at the top of their lungs.

_ “Now each one of you will be paired with one of these gorgeous, hot menseses!” _

It hadn’t been Brooke’s intention, but he couldn’t help but stare.

The Pit Crew was visually stunning, specimens of human perfection all of them very aesthetically pleasing, but as Brooke watched, Ru explaining something he wasn’t actually listening to, a strange new realisation settled in.

He didn’t find any of them attractive, not when still had the lingering feeling of Vanjie’s kisses hot on his lips, his attention and attraction to his fellow queen much greater than the physical temptation of the men in front of him.

Brooke was completely caught up in his thoughts, when he suddenly felt Vanjie’s hands over his eyes, his thumb catching on his nostrils.

///

It wasn’t exactly like Vanjie liked the fact that he was someone who had an almost extreme tendency towards jealousy, the intensity destroying more things than he was proud of.

Vanjie had only noticed that Brooke was looking, and hadn’t even thought before he had slapped his hand over Brooke’s eyes, forcing him not to look at the men who was standing almost naked in front of them.

It often felt like a monster lived inside of him, like there was an ugly creature who emerged from the deepest parts of his being, who took control over his body and who thought the most despicable things if Vanjie didn’t do everything he could to keep it in check when he felt threatened.

Brooke had thankfully just laughed, the other man grabbing his hand and pulling it away, Vanjie calming down as Brooke didn’t release him, their fingers intertwining instead as they watched Shuga take the stage, and Vanjie felt a breath of relief leave his chest.

///

Brooke had cheered and clapped the entire way through Vanjie excelling at the mini game of the week. 

It was completely chaotic and majorly entertaining to watch, Vanjie always shining like the brightest star when he got to let go and be the loud, crazy and most importantly fun personality he was.

“Congrats baby.” Brooke smirked as Vanjie got back in line, the other man flipping an imaginary wig in response as Silky took the stage, both of them wearing gigantic identical smiles.

_ “The queen that buried the most balls in the shortest amount of time is-” _

_ “- Vanessa Vanjie Mateo!” _

“Yes!” Vanjie jumped into the air, and Brooke laughed, Vanjie dancing with his arms above his head, happiness radiating from him as everyone cheered, and Brooke couldn’t help but pad Vanjie’s ass, the other man only laughing louder.

///

_ “I want Big Silk with the alacazam milk!” _

Vanjie smiled, Silky laughing. It was nice that he had won a 2.500 dollar gift card, but what really mattered was that he got the chance to pick his own team.

There hadn’t been a second of doubt in his mind, Silky and A’keria his first choice, but as Vanjie made it to the third and finale, he realised that he wasn’t sure if he wanted Yvie or Shuga on the team with him. 

Shuga was easy to work with, and from what Vanjie had seen Shuga was really good at making sure things actually got finished, but Yvie was someone who always spoke his mind, and with the group Vanjie had put together, he’d need a strong personality to keep up with the team.

///

_ **Please don’t pick me please don’t pick me please don’t pick.** _

Brooke was chewing on the inside of his cheek, every muscle in his face fighting to keep his expression neutral as a storm raged within him. 

Brooke had no idea who Vanjie would prefer as the last person on his team, but he hoped with every fiber of his being that it wouldn’t be him. 

All he could think about was the certainty that Vanjie wouldn’t like him anymore if they worked together, that the other man would get tired of him, that he’d see how much bullshit Brooke carried around and decide that it wasn’t worth it.

That he wasn’t worth it.

_ “I’m going to choose Yvie." _

Brooke felt his shoulders slump, his entire body relaxing the moment Vanjie didn’t say his name, but the anxiety was still there, the feeling still worming around underneath his skin.

///

“Everyone come get your scripts!”

“Yes ma’am!” Vanjie did a mock salute as one of the producers came into the Werq Room, a stack of papers in her hand.

“Team, get in line!” Vanjie did a sweeping gesture, and Yvie laughed as he lined up, while A’keria looked at him with a very unimpressed expression. 

“Who died and made you captain of the guard lil lady?”

“Mama Ru bitch,” Vanjie smirked, “so you better show some damned respect.”

A’keria laughed, everyone walking together, when Vanjie felt a presence behind him.

“Seems like it suits you to be a leader big guy.”

Vanjie looked over his shoulder and up at Brooke, the man smiling down at him.

“You ready to get your ass wooped?”

“What?” Brooke laughed, surprise clear on his features.

“Wooped.” Vanjie smiled, “cause that what my teams gonna do with y’alls asses”

“Are you now?” Brooke took his script from the table, Shuga and Nina already sitting down. 

“You betcha.” Vanjie took a handful of Brooke’s shirt, getting up on his toes. “So get ready.” Vanjie kissed Brooke, the two of them standing together until Silky called for Vanjie.

///

_ “I’m not gonna put my man in my group!” _

Brooke snapped up from his script, Vanjie’s loud voice booming through the Werq Room. 

“What the-“ Nina moved as well, the two of them sitting side by side at the table. Brooke hadn’t intended to listen in on Vanjie’s groups conversation, his anxiety already too close to boiling over, but with Vanjie’s volume it was possible not to be drawn in.

Brooke had expected his talk with Ru to be the weirdest thing that happened that day, but as he actually saw Vanjie’s group, their attention split between Vanjie and Ru who where shooting back and forth, Brooke realised it was probably about to get a whole lot weirder.

_ “When he picked people, he picked Nina and I wasn’t pressed about it-”  _

Brooke gave Nina’s arm a squeeze, his elbow resting on his shoulder, the two of them watching the conversation unfold, Brooke not even noticing that there was a camera pointed right back at him.

///

“Hey hot stuff.” 

Vanjie closed the door behind him, smirking with satisfaction as he had finally found Brooke. 

The man was standing outside in the parking lot, a takeaway coffee cup filled with soup in one hand, a cigarette in the other, his back resting against the metal wall of the studio.

“Hey…” Brooke smiled slightly. “Did you find something to eat?”

“What?” Vanjie didn’t understand the question, lunch still on the tables inside.

“It’s tomato soup today?” Brooke held up his mug, like that explain everything. “Youu don’t like that, right?”

Vanjie felt himself blush, his cheeks heating up, Brooke’s concern making his knees feel weak. 

“A ho knows a way.” Vanjie had actually kind of just skipped lunch, Brooke’s prediction that the offer of soup wouldn’t tempt him at all holding absolute truth. 

Vanjie leaned against the wall as well, the two men standing side by side as they watched a pigeon attempt to make off with a slice of toast that had probably been dropped by catering.

“So-” Vanjie looked up at Brooke. “I heard you got some real cute shit to say about me.”

Brooke snorted, turning his head to look at Vanjie. “What about it?”

“Well you better tell me what you saying now-” Vanjie hadn’t actually heard anything, hadn’t followed along in the other group’s conversation since he had been so busy writing down everything he could, but A’keria had given him a knowing smirk, which had lit Vanjie’s curiosity on fire. “-Cause I’ma catch it on TV no matter what.”

“Do I now?” Brooke chewed on his lip, Vanjie actually a little surprised as he watched how Brooke drew in on himself, and he was just about to ask what was going on, when Brooke broke the sudden silence.

“Let’s just say-” Brookes stood up a little straighter, taking another drag of his cigarette. “That I never ever ever need Ru to ask me about my sexual preferences ever again.”

“Wha-” Vanjie’s jaw dropped, a rush of excitement, curiosity and slight embarrassment. “Bitch you serious?”

Brooke nodded, and Vanjie snorted, Ru’s questions to him and how he had been lightly grilled about not picking Brooke for his team suddenly seeming ever so innocent in comparison.

“So-” Vanjie pushed out from the wall, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked up at Brooke. “You a tough top or what?”

Brooke blushed completely, his cheeks going bright red, and Vanjie almost felt like dropping his jaw again.

“Bitch why you acting all shy?” Vanjie had expected it to be the most natural thing in the world, Brooke Lynn so extremely confident when she took to a stage, and Brooke had an almost magnetic attraction around him, Vanjie only needing to rewind to yesterday in the van for absolute proof of how dominant Brooke could be if he felt like it.

“Sex is… weird,” Brooke gestured vaguely, “and not really something I want to talk abou-”

“Weird? Why you finding it weird?” Vanjie raised a brow. “If that kissing you got is anything to go by, you have fucking on lockdown stud.”

It shouldn’t be possible, but it almost looked like Brooke blushed more, like he wished that the earth would swallow him up.

“I know how to fuck-”

Vanjie bit back a moan, his plan threatening to shoot him directly in the foot with how hot it was to hear Brooke talk about sex.

“I’m just not-” Brooke threw his cigarette on the ground, stepping on it. “I’m not a hook up queen-”

“You think I am?” Vanjie huffed, almost a little offended. “You know Vanessa is a hoe any day of the week, but I’ma have you know that Jose-”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

“... What?” Vanjie looked at Brooke, not believing what he was hearing. “You too fine for that, I don’t believe you. Anybody with eyes knows you hot as fuck”

“I’m telling the truth.” Brooke smiled slightly, Vanjie’s words of praise apparently getting to him. “I just never…” Brooke shrugged. “I never met someone I guess.”

“Wow…” Vanjie chewed on it, Brooke’s words making a weird amount of sense with how the other man actually behave.

“So-” Vanjie coughed slightly, the question burning in his chest. “You met someone now?”

Brooke’s head snapped up, his gaze meeting Vanjie’s, their eyes locked together. “Maybe.”

///

“Nina. I’m freaking out.” Brooke whispered as they walked off stage, his fingers tight in Nina’s black jacket. 

The whole magic training thing had been absolutely terrible, the magician they had dug up somewhere the most awkward person Brooke had ever met, and it had rubbed off on him in the worst way possible.

“B-” Nina sighed, and Brooke felt like throwing up, a panic attack fully underway. 

He had no idea how he was going to make the card trick work, and he needed something, anything, to focus on. 

“I can’t always think of you before I think of myself-“ Nina was holding his hand, his palm over Brooke’s, but his words only made everything so much worse.

“I know, I know-” Brooke groaned, almost a little annoyed at the idea that Nina didn’t know how much he meant to him, how much he needed Nina. “You’ve helped me so much-“

“What?” Nina’s eyes widened, and Brooke had no idea why.

“With the last challenge-” Brooke tried to breath through his nose, everything in him wishing he could take yet another xanax but he was already plenty spaced out on the dose he had taken before they had even walked on stage. 

“I told the judges too and I-“ 

Brooke was trying to get his breathing under control, when Nina suddenly hugged him, pulling him tight and holding him close.

“Sssh-” Nina ran a hand up Brooke’s back. “It’ll be okay.”

The weird vibe between them was completely gone, and while Brooke had no idea why, he accepted it with his entire being, disappearing into Nina’s arms.

///

“Everybody done wrote their shit down and stuff?” Vanjie looked around at his team. 

Everyone except Silky had their papers on their knees, and Vanjie had done his best to write down what he was supposed to do, the critique from Ru and Michelle still loud and clear in his mind.

“I still ain’t doing that.” Silky huffed, sitting with his arms crossed.

“Don’t care if you keep it on paper or in your nignog-” Vanjie pointed his pen to his temple. “-as long as you know your steps.”

///

“Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Why? You think I look tired?”

“No.” Brooke smiled as he reached out, settling his hand on Vanjie’s knee, the other man wearing shorts for once, and Brooke loved the feeling of skin under his palm. “It’s just… It’s kind of nerve wracking, right?” 

They were in the van, going to the studio to film their magic performances and the runway. 

They had practiced last night away at the hotel, both groups running over their things again and again and again, Nina quickly getting a grip of Brooke’s group, but Brooke had no idea how Vanjie had actually done.

“I’ma be okay.” Vanjie smiled. “We trying our best.”

///

_ “So you’re saying I didn’t write down what I was gonna say?” _

Yvie was spouting bullshit, attacking her in the most cruel way right in front of the judges. Vanjie breathed through her nose, her nails digging into her fists, trying her best not to get angry as she was standing on the main stage.

Vanjie had done her best for the challenge, but she knew that she hadn’t succeeded, and she didn’t need anyone to dogpile on her when she was already hanging on by a thread.

_ “First of all, I want to say that this is my favorite caftan up here tonight.” _

Vanjie released a deep breath of relief as Michelle praised her, a small flicker of hope lighting in her chest that maybe, just maybe, she still had a chance.

_ “I’ve been trying really hard to push myself-” _

Vanjie could sense that she was tearing up, her voice breaking, but she tried to keep on track, tried to do what was expected of her, her heart hammering away.

_ “Like whatever critiques you guys say, I do listen.” _

///

Brooke knew they were standing on the main stage, knew that this wasn’t the time nor place, but it felt impossible not to reach out. 

Vanjie instantly took the hand she offered her, the other sending her a brief kiss, and Brooke smiled, knowing that she had made the exact right decision. 

///

Vanjie was seething as she made her way backstage, anger bubbling in her chest. She made a beeline for her tote bag, grabbing her drink on the way, sitting her ass down and jamming her headphones in right away as she knew she was lip syncing.

There hadn’t been team captains, but from the judges feedback, she knew she was on the chopping block.

Vanjie just wanted to concentrate, wanted to prepare her lip sync, but as she heard A’keria and Yvie start to talk, she knew there was no way she wasn’t going to get dragged into the argument yet again. 

_ “I’m not saying it’s about the amount of work." _

Vanjie tried not to roll her eyes at Yvie’s insistence that she hadn’t done anything wrong, and Vanjie took a deep breath since she refused to get angry, refused to allow herself to blow up on TV once again, least of all when she knew that Yvie was just being Yvie.

///

_ “Let it go.” _ Brooke held up her hand, before she turned her attention to Vanjie.

_ “Vanj.”  _ Brooke smiled.  _ “I’ve never seen you get so emotional.” _

_ “Tearing up and crying?” _

It was the absolute truth, and Brooke’s heart had ached for Vanjie on stage, the hurt only growing as she had watched Vanjie defend herself on Untucked, had seen the demons in Vanjie’s eyes.

_ “It was sweet though. I liked it.” _

///

_ “Y’all see a big man cry?” _

Vanjie barely noticed the crack in Brooke’s voice, when the TV turned on and the cutest little old lady Vanjie had ever seen popped up in a video message.

_ “Hi Brooke Lynn. It’s mum.” _

Vanjie did a double take. She never would have guessed that the woman on screen that most of all looked a grandma was Brooke’s mom. She looked miniature on the screen, and she couldn’t understand how someone so small had birthed the giant that was sitting on the couch, Brooke easily looking like she was four sizes bigger than Joan.

Vanjie turned her head, fully expecting to see Brooke smiling, when she noticed that Brooke was tearing up. Vanjie felt her stomach drop, the tears in Brooke’s eyes something entirely new.

“Shit-” Vanjie whispered to herself, quickly getting out of her chair and walking over.

_ “I can’t say I’ve always done it right and well.” _

Vanjie sat down, Brooke immediately reaching for Vanjie’s knee, and Vanjie put her own hand on top of Brooke’s, holding it tight while Brooke watched the rest of the message, not a single word leaving her even as it ended.

“Hey, are you-” Vanjie moved closer, only to see that Brooke was still crying, tears falling from her eyes.

_ “Anybody got a tissue?” _

Vanjie looked around, her hand running up and down Brooke’s back, Brooke leaning slightly into her touch, before A’keria broke up the moment.

_ “Use my semi caftan girl.” _

_ “Thank you…” _

It was the first words Brooke had said, and Vanjie sat by Brooke’s side, her music completely forgotten as Brooke talked about her message, Vanjie staying right next to her, Brooke’s little smile telling her that she was not only welcome but appreciated, until the five minute warning was called.

“Shit-” Brooke straightened up, Brooke Lynn slipping on her face, and Vanjie knew that she should get ready herself, knew that she should focus on the upcoming lip sync, but she couldn’t.

Not when Brooke still had marks from her tears on her face.

“Mami-” Vanjie smiled as she instantly earned Brooke’s entire attention. “Come here.”

Brooke snorted, but she still leaned in, allowing Vanjie to fix her makeup, and Vanjie knew that it was worth every little bit of missed preparation.

///

Brooke felt her heart drop as Vanije was told that she was up for elimination. Brooke knew that the group hadn’t done good, knew that Vanjie had been the unofficial team captain, but it still felt terrible to once again have the risk that Vanjie would maybe leave the competition right in front of her.

Brooke folded her hands in front of her, her fingers hurting from the pressure of how hard she was squeezing them in an attempt to stay calm.

///

“Ladies. I’ve made my decision. Vanjie. That was magic.”

Vanjie instantly started crying, her shoulders shaking as she tried to hold it back while Shuga said her goodbyes. 

She was staying. She had dodged death once again, and she was staying. 

The music started playing, and Vanjie moved to the music, both exhausted and exhilarated with the fact that she was still there. 

All of a sudden, Vanjie felt a hand on her arm, and she turned to see Brooke, the other smiling brightly, pride shining from her eyes, and then;

Brooke kissed her. 

She kissed her right there on the main stage, Vanjie so surprised she almost bumped their faces together in chok.

They hugged each other, Brooke holding her tight and whispering in her ear, Vanjie so overwhelmed, happy and drained that she couldn’t actually hear the words, not a single thought in her head dedicated to anything but Brooke, even as their sisters danced around them.


	11. Chapter 11

“Is it weird that I’m proud of you?”

Vanjie reacted instantly to the insecurity in Brooke’s voice. 

He looked up, but Brooke’s eyes were completely focused on the hole in Vanjie’s jeans, his fingers fiddling with the frayed denim, the pads of his fingertips touching the bare skin on Vanjie’s thigh every time he tugged on the fabric.

They were in the van, Silky and Yvie sitting in the back, neither of them talking to each other so Nina and A’keria were desperately trying to salvage the situation, their voices carrying as they chatted loudly about everything and nothing. 

Normally, Vanjie would have been right there with them, talking along, but tonight he hadn’t cared at all as he was caught up in his very own world with Brooke.

Sending Shuga home had been a lot harder than Vanjie had expected, being in the bottom twice really not doing wonders for his self esteem, and he was pretty sure Brooke had been able to send it, since the man had been at his side since they had been released from the backstage area.

Brooke dug into the hole again, tearing the fabric even further, but the feeling of his fingers, the light scratching of his nails, was so nice that Vanjie didn’t want to chastinate him.

He hadn’t planned on the jeans attracting Brooke like a moth to a flame, but that was what had happened, and Vanjie knew that he would be thinking of those warm fingers as he crawled into bed, Brooke’s perfectly innocent touch maddingly naughty and delicious. 

“For the lipsync, I mean-”

Brooke’s words were quick, rushed, and Vanjie hadn’t realised that he hadn’t spoken, that Brooke’s question had taken him completely by surprise.

“You was proud?”

Vanjie could have kicked himself, the question not at all what he wanted to say, but the other man looked up, Brooke’s blue eyes filled with an emotion he barely recognised, and Vanjie realised that Brooke was nervous, even though it made no sense that he would feel that way around him.

“It was-“ Brooke tightened his grip on Vanjie’s leg, his fingers digging into the plush flesh of Vanjie’s thigh, and he was sure Brooke had no idea how big his hand actually felt, how sexy it was to feel the warmth through the denim of his jeans, Vanjie’s legs spreading a little on their own accord. “It was absolutely stunning.”

“Shit…” Vanjie felt shyness rush through his body. 

It wasn’t an emotion he felt often, so he had no idea what to do, no idea how to react to Brooke’s attention, no idea how to react to how warm he felt over Brooke saying that he was proud, so instead, he snuggled into Brooke’s side, leaning his head on his shoulder. 

Brooke reached up, his right hand running through Vanjie’s hair, and Vanjie turned his head, breathing in the scent of Brooke, allowing himself a moment of peace in the other man's arms.

“I mean it. It was really good.”

Vanjie blushed, his cheeks hot. 

“Well-” Vanjie looked up, “wait til you get the front view.” Vanjie wiggled his brows, a smile on his lips, but Brooke only raised a brow in confusion.

“What?”

“You ain’t planning on watching the episode?” Vanjie put a hand on Brooke’s chest, still leaning against him.

“Oh.” Brooke blushed, and Vanjie realised that he had truly forgotten, which made him giggle.

“See?” Vanjie smiled. “I figured your Continental ass was a proper bookings queen.”

“Probably...” Brooke bit his lip, his hand still in Vanjie’s hair, holding his head even though their chests were practically pressed together. “Is it weird that I forget we’re on TV sometimes?” 

Vanjie looked into Brooke’s eyes, brown meeting blue, their faces inches from each other. Vanjie could feel Brooke’s hot breath, could practically taste his lips, and he was sure that the earth could stop spinning with him noticing a thing.

“Nah mami.” Vanjie cracked a smile. “I feel the same.”

///

“I can’t believe we’re top six.” 

Brooke looked over at Nina who had just spoken, his friend shining that morning, and Brooke was so happy to see it. Nina had worked so incredibly hard for the magic challenge, and he had truly deserved the praise and the attention he had gotten as the winner.

They were all sitting around the table, all of them spread out since they were so few now that they had plenty of space. Brooke could still vividly remember how squashed they had been during the first episode, how he had almost clung to Nina in that sea of unfamiliar people.

“Just two episodes left.” Yvie nodded, and Brooke felt Vanjie freeze for a second next to him, so Brooke reached out under the table, their feet bumping together.

It was surreal that there were probably only two episodes left, that this journey would soon be over, and even though Brooke was starting to really truly feel the exhaustion, a small part of him couldn’t help but worry what would happen if he didn’t see Vanjie every single day, what would happen to the feelings he couldn’t deny if he was no longer forced to be around the other man.

“What other hoes you wanted here with us?” A’keria smirked, his tone drawling as he stretched out over the table like a cat. 

“Not Soju that for fucking sure.” Vanjie snapped, and the entire table burst into laughter.

///

Vanjie had never expected a fake slapping challenge to be so funny. 

It was miles better than the reading challenge, everyone somehow delivering lines that were a thousand times funnier than anything that had been said in the much more structured format of reading.

_ “I actually want you to do something-”  _

Vanjie was still drying his eyes from how hilarious Silky had been, when A’keria caught his attention, his sister really looking like he was stacking up a serve.

_ “Get the hell out of Brooke’s ass, that’s Vanjie’s position now.” _

Vanjie dropped his jaw. He heard Silky yell shade, but all he really focused on was Brooke’s snort next to him, the sound so loud it had probably hurt.

“Fuck-” Brooke held his chest, a laugh leaving him, and as Vanjie turned his head he saw that Brooke’s eyes were sparkling with mischeif and joy, the read apparently as funny to him as Vanjie had found it too.

///

“God I missed you.” Brooke hugged Plastique tight as they lined up to get Ru’s instructions for the challenge. He could feel Plastique’s arm around his waist, the other queen fitting so well in under his arm.

Brooke was so happy that he had been able to pick Plastique for himself, and he had really tried to give everyone someone he at least imagined they’d be able to work with, but Brooke had also soon Silky’s face when he had given him Soju.

“Missed you too Mom.” 

Brooke kissed Plastique’s hair, Brooke not even noticing that Vanjie was looking at them.

///

_ “Speaking of hair, I hear some of my hairs gone.” _

Vanjie swore that he saw his entire life flash before his eyes as Ariel said the worst sentence he possibly could. 

_ “People were fighting over the hair.” _

Vanjie couldn’t put into words how incredibly happy he was that he had not been involved in any way with any of the stupid ass wig drama. 

Ariel was very clearly interested in talking about it, but Vanjie didn’t have anything to say, didn’t have anything to add to it since he had barely been there, sneaking around with Brooke and making out as the power had gone out the only thing he truly remembered from that Untucked.

“Just, you know-” Vanjie reached out, touching Ariel’s arm. “I need you to focus on this. Okay?” Vanjie pointed to his table, options for clothes already spread out. “I can’t go home. Not yet.”

///

“Okay so-” Brooke reached into his wardrobe, grabbing the outfits he had taken with him from home. Plastique was standing by his side, his sister practically bouncing in place. “These are the dresses that I brought.”

Brooke pulled them out, his stomach tight with anticipation of Plastique’s reaction, but then, the best thing that could happen, did.

“Oh my god!” Plastique clapped, jumping up and down before he reached for the fabric, grabbing the red dress. 

“I love this!” Plastique looked up at Brooke, his eyes wide. “This is some serious pageant realness!”

“They are.” Brooke smiled. He had hoped to take the blue for himself, so he was so relieved that Plastique had gone straight for the red. “They’re actually my drag moms.”

“Really?”

“Mmh.” Brooke nodded. “Back from when she was actually skinny.”

Plastique laughed, and Brooke felt his stomach relax.

Everything would work out fine. He just knew it. 

///

“Fuck.”

Vanjie heard a noise coming from Silky’s station. It wasn’t uncommon for Silky to curse up a storm, so at first, Vanjie had ignored it. There was so much chaos around them, the returning queens all running around to catch up with each other and the contestants that were still there, but when he heard it again, Vanjie put down the shoe he had been polishing. 

“Silks?” Vanjie walked into Silky’s station, only to see his friend dig through a giant bin of wigs. 

“Hey?” Vanjie crouched down next to Silky, the costumes around them almost providing a sense of privacy. “You okay?”

“What you think?” Silky huffed, his tone dripping in venom. “Miss shady Brooke put me with Soju-“

“Silks-“ Vanjie reached out, putting his hand on Silky’s back.

“Everybody else brought costumes from home.”

Vanije bit his lip. He had never heard Silky sound so defeated before. Vanjie was extremely lucky that Alexis had given him a set to work with, and since he and Ariel were around the same size, it would only take minor alterations to make sure that the costume would fit Ariel well.

Vanjie wasn’t a designer, but he knew how to sew, and he knew how to make sure something was tailored to a body.

“It gonna be okay-”

“- I don’t fit into none of my shit.”

Vanjie knew that Silky had gained weight, knew that he had gained so much he barely fit into his costumes anymore, he and A’keria struggling to get Silky into his magic challenge outfit. 

Vanjie had no idea what to do, so he did the only thing he could think of. 

Vanjie reached out, hugging Silky tight, his arms spread over his friends back. “You gonna figure it out Mama. I know you are.”

Vanjie held Silky tight, and if Silky cried a little, Vanjie wasn’t going to tell anyone.

///

“Everyone! Get into positions.” Vanjie looked up from the nails he was painting for him and Ariel, to see one of the producers. “Ru is coming! Yvie, we’re starting with you.”

“Come on-” Vanjie titled his head towards the table Brooke and Plastique was at. “Let’s go get the good seats for this show.”

“At Brooke’s?” Ariel smirked. “Does that mean the hoemance is still going?”

“Ain’t no hoes here.” Vanjie smiled. “So make of that what you wanna.”

///

It felt strange to actually have time to be mentally present for the other queens walkthrough. 

During the other episodes Brooke had been so focused on either getting done, or fighting with his anxiety, that he had barely been able to focus on his own stuff.

“You think Nina gonna be okay?” Vanjie was trying to whisper, but Brooke could still hear him clear as day.

“Maybe…” Brooke bit his lip as he continued to brush through the wigs he was styling for him and Plastique. 

“But if I’m honest-” Brooke pointed with his brush. “I’m a lot more worried about Silky.”

///

“Earth to Jose?”

“What?” Vanjie had been so caught up in watching Ariel, who was sitting with Plastique, the two of them whispering away, that he hadn’t actually heard Brooke.

They were backstage for lunch, Brooke and Vanjie standing together at the catering table. Vanjie was holding a plate in his hands, and he realised that Brooke was standing there with a spoonful of rice, ready to dump it down on the paper.

“I asked you if you wanted one or two scoops.”

“Oh-” Vanjie bit his lip. He quickly looked out at the table, everything looking really unappetizing, whatever meat stew everyone else was having brown and bubbly and kind of disgusting, even though Brooke had put a regular pile on his own plate. “One.”

“So you’re getting two.” Brooke smiled and poured the rice on Vanjie’s plate. 

“No!”

“Don’t think I didn’t see that nose.”

“Ain’t nothing going on with my nos-” Vanjie was cut off as Brooke put another scoop of rice down. 

“You do this little-” Brooke wrinkled his nose, “when you think something is gross.” Brooke moved along the table, putting cheese on top of his meat mountain like he hadn’t just said something that had shaken Vanjie’s world to the core.

“Wait up-” Vanjie took a step forward, only to have Brooke put a slice of bread on his plate as well. “This some 50 shades of grey bullshit?” Vanjie did actually feel a bit like Anastasia, Brooke’s attention to his needs really sexy, though he wasn’t so sure if he was into Brooke controlling what he ate and when. Actually. That was really really not sexy at all, and Vanjie banished the thought from his mind.

“50 shades of grey?” Brooke raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that the awkward mommy porn?”

Vanjie’s jaw dropped. “You telling me you ain’t seen one of the greatest fucking romance movies of our time?”

“One of my friends read the book,” Brooke shrugged, while somehow managing to fit a scoop of broccoli along with everything else on his page, but this time, Vanjie actually held his own out. “Told everyone else it wasn’t worth it.”

“You in a book club or what?” Vanjie raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you asking if I’m a nerd?” Brooke raised an eyebrow himself, mimicking Vanjie perfectly.

“It too late for that hot stuff.” Vanjie smiled. “Can’t believe I’m into a dude who goes to fucking bookclub.”

Brooke snorted and put broccoli on Vanjie’s plate too. 

Neither of them had noticed Yvie and Scarlett, who had been watching them, and how Scarlett’s jaw had dropped.

///

“Fuck-” Brooke groaned as A’keria brought up that Scarlett had said he was surprised that Silky and Vanjie were still in the competition. 

Brooke hated mirror time, and he really hated it today when he had to not only do his own makeup, but do Plastiques too.

The wig drama had thankfully gone down without Plastique getting too involved, but as everyone started yelling Brooke’s eyes met Nina, both of them rolling their eyes at the same time. 

///

_ “It’s so smart to put one of you in a dress, and one of you in pants-” _

Brooke felt it the moment the judges praise got through to Vanjie. Ariel was standing between them, but Brooke could swear she felt it in her bones as Vanjie started crying.

_ “I just really wanted to make you guys proud.” _

Brooke wished she had put a tissue somewhere in her costume, that she could do something, anything, to make sure that Vanjie’s makeup wasn’t ruined, but all she could do was watch as Vanjie finally finally finally got the recognition and love she deserved for all the hard work she did.

_ “Brooke. You took my breath away when you guys walked out-” _

Brooke felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, a full body shudder going through her body, tears rushing to her eyes. The judges had seen her runway, and they had understood it. Brooke had thought she’d need the tissues for Vanjie, but somehow, she had turned out to need them for herself.

_ “It was kind of, it was a love letter to my drag mother-” _

Brooke could feel Plastique cling to her, the comfort of a friends arms around her meaning so much more than Brooke had expected as she tried to pull herself together.

///

Vanjie walked down the stairs to the backstage area, her body humming with discomfort.

Vanjie hated having to pick someone to go home. She couldn’t say her sister, couldn’t say Silky, couldn’t stab her friend in the back like this even though she knew that Silky did look the worst, so she said Yvie, even though it pained her. 

“Hey-” Vanjie felt a hand on her back, Brooke towering behind her as they walked. “Are you okay?”

“Mmh..” Vanjie nodded, agreeing with the statement even though she felt anything but okay. The others were slightly in front of them, everybody rushing to get cocktails.

“Just so you know-” Brooke took a deep breath, her hand still on Vanjie’s back. “I’m sorry I had to say Silky-” Brooke looked straight ahead, her eyes not meeting Vanjie’s at all, “but I’m not sorry I picked her.”

“I know.” Vanjie bit her lip. “You a pageant queen.”

///

_ “I just want to say that- It broke my heart to say you-” _

Brooke hated that she had had to say Silky, but the other queen had also objectively done the worst during the challenge. 

Brooke had been skeptical over the choice of disco, but she had liked the colors and had told her as much, but just because she didn’t love Silky’s costume, it didn’ mean that she wanted her to go home.

_ “It really did, because I love you, and I was not-” _ Brooke took a deep breath, the tears threatening to spill again, but she willed them away.  _ “I wasn’t basing it on anything but tonight, and what you showed on the runway.”  _

Brooke hated crying in front of people, hated how vulnerable she felt, and she wasn’t going to allow her emotions to win out on what she had meant as and attempted as a rational decision. _ _

_ “It had nothing to do with how I feel about you as a person- I took my emotions out of it.”  _ Brooke could see in Silky’s face that she didn’t believe her, but Brooke still needed to say it, still needed to make sure that she had at least shared the words with Silky. 

_ “I just want you to know, that from me to you, that I fucking love you, and that I’m closer to you then I am to Yvie.” _

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Silky’s forgotten inhaler had actually been a ploy to get her and Vanjie in the elevator together. 

Brooke hadn’t confronted Vanjie about it yet, hadn’t had the chance to bring it up without cameras all the way up their asses, and Brooke cherished the moment of their first kiss too much to risk tainting it. She could still perfectly recall the surprised expression on Vanjie’s face right before she had kissed her, and that meant something to her, those memories theirs and not something that belonged to a TV show like Drag Race.

Brooke had never expected to grow so close to Vanjie, to get so much joy from the other man and even though she couldn’t say the word aloud yet - love as well. 

Brooke was pretty sure she was beginning to possibly potentially maybe have the chance to fall in love with Vanjie, and she knew that she owned a large part of the chance to Silky.

///

_ “Brooke Lynn is sad.” _

Vanjie reached out to touch Silky’s arm, resting her hand on the crook of Silky’s elbow. 

Vanjie knew that she didn’t have to speak for Brooke, but as Brooke had tried to explain herself there on the couch, as Vanjie had watched Silky’s face and seen how much her friend didn’t believe the man Vanjie really really cared about, she couldn’t help but feel like she had to step in.

_ “She said that she’s sad that she said you.” _

_ “Well, she should be because she told me my look was sickening.” _

Vanjie felt her entire body cringe. She knew how much Silky had struggled in this challenge, knew how much it hurt her that she was struggling with her self image and her body, and Vanjie immediately pulled Silky aside. 

///

_ “This is a message for someone really special in my life - Miss Vanjie.” _

“Wha-” Brooke looked at the screen, and then back at Vanjie. “That’s your mom?!” 

The woman was absolutely stunning, her hair curled expertly, her makeup perfectly in place. 

Brooke knew that Vanjie was at the end of her 20’s, and she vaguely remembered that Vanjie had said something about older brothers during a breakfast at the hotel where Silky had emptied the juice, so it made no sense that Vanjie’s mom looked so young.

Silky and A’keria had immediately flanked Vanjie, and Brooke was so happy about that, that Vanjie had that support, even though she wished that she was the one standing there. 

Brooke knew that she should probably look at the screen, but her eyes were locked on Vanjie during the entire video message, Vanjie smiling to her even though she was crying, the tears that were falling clearly those of happiness.

“Shit-” Vanjie kept trying to catch her tears with her fingers, trying and failing to not let them catch her foundation. 

Brooke remembered how sweet Vanjie had been to her, yelling for tissues, so even though Silky and A’keria were there, Brooke still grabbed the tissue box and got up. 

She handed one to Vanjie, the other grabbing her hand and holding it tight as she continued to watch the screen, not missing a single moment of her mother's message.

_ “I love you! Mama Vanjie.” _

_ “She looks like fucking Jennifer Lopez.”  _ Brooke pointed at the screen, and Vanjie laughed, the staff coming by to tell them that they had five minutes, but both Brooke and Vanjie were in full costume, so neither broke up as everyone else started to get ready.

“My mama was working my drag con booth, she fucking fierce.” Vanjie smiled, wiping her eyes, the scene eerily familiare to last three days ago when Brooke had been in Vanjie’s position.

“I can see where you got it from.” Brooke smiled.

“Fuck you.” Vanjie leaned over the little table, and Brooke did too, their lips meeting in a sweet and quick kiss.

///

_ “Vanjie, welcome back to the competition. You are safe." _

Brooke felt her jaw drop. She had fully expected Vanjie to win. Hadn’t been able to imagine Vanjie not getting the recognition she deserved. 

Vanjie turned to leave the stage, and Brooke reached out, not even thinking as she took Vanjie's hand, squeezing it tight. 

Vanjie looked into her eyes, and Brooke knew that she saw her apology, knew that she understood, Vanjie pursing her lips and sending Brooke a little kiss, the understanding between them meaning so much more than Brooke could have ever imagined.

_ “Brooke Lynn Hytes-” _ Brooke froze for a moment, her pageant smile still on her lips as Ru said her name. _ “Tonight, you gave us two sofisticated ladies.”  _ Brooke gasped, not at all expecting what she knew was going to follow. _ “Condragulations, you are the winner of this challenge.” _

///

Not winning was a lot more bitter than Vanjie had expected. 

It burned in her mouth, disappointment tight in her chest. 

She watched from the back of the stage as Brooke was crowned the winner of the episode, could hear Brooke’s laugh, and she was so proud, but a part of her, a bigger part than she was proud of, wished she was the one standing there, wishing she was the one who had won.

_ “You have won a five night stay at the Aruba Marriott Resort.” _

_ “Vanjie-” _ Brooke turned around, Vanjie’s eyes going wide.  _ “We’re going on vacation!” _

_ “Oh.”  _ Every sour emotion inside Vanjie vanished, her body growing warm all over.  _ “Yay!” _

“Hey-” Vanjie felt Brooke’s arm sneak around her waist as she joined her, pulling her in and holding her against her side, Brooke pressing a kiss against her temple. 

“Congrats” Vanjie smiled.

“I’m the one who who should be saying that-'' Brooke whispered, three queens still remaining on stage. “You deserved this.”

Vanjie would have loved to win herself, but somehow, this was almost as good, Brooke’s praise meaning even more to her than the judges.

///

Brooke clung to Vanjie’s hand as Nina left the stage, her nails probably digging into Vanjie’s skin, but she still held her, and Brooke had no idea how she would have stayed standing without Vanjie’s support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and your time.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by the ever wonderful Frey, and midwifed by PoppedtheP

The Werq Room that had once been so bustling with noise and color, life, and love, now felt strangely small and weirdly quiet.

There were only five girls left, and Vanjie knew that the room should feel bigger now, that they should all feel like they had more space, but as she walked to the mirrors to read Nina’s farewell message, she felt anything but grand.

Vanjie hadn’t lip synced, that relief still living in her chest, but she had felt the worry radiating off of Brooke, had sat by her side backstage as Nina had packed up, a sense of sorrow heavy on Brooke’s shoulders like a blanket.

Vanjie could see that Silky was feeling dejected and sad too, a cloud over her head as she wiped Nina’s parting words from the mirror. 

Vanjie could recognise so much of herself in Silky’s explosive anger, could see so much of her own worry and her own fears in how Silky sometimes escaped into her own world. Vanjie knew Silky’s lip sync hadn’t been amazing, and she knew that Silky knew it too, but Vanjie wasn’t going to comment on it, that facts not what her friend needed from her right now.

They all made their way towards the couch, and while Yvie was obviously still upset and Vanjie felt for her, what touched her the most was the set of Brooke’s shoulder, her stand normally perfectly poised, but right now she was slouching.

It seemed like A’keria was the only other person who felt somewhat okay, and as she took a seat next to Silky, Vanjie allowed herself to take one besides Brooke. 

They hadn’t really made such strong outward displays of support for each other before, and Vanjie worried for a minute if she had made the right decision, but then Brooke reached out, touching her knee.

///

Brooke was exhausted to the bone, everything sore and achy in the way he had only ever known from the world of ballet when performances were scheduled back to back to back. 

Vanjie had gone directly for Silky in the van, and while Brooke had wanted Vanjie by his side, it seemed like a good call, Silky obviously needing his sisters with him. 

It had coincidentally also given him the time to talk to Yvie, Brooke not even realising how much he had put his foot in his mouth when he had said that he was the closest with Silky. 

It hadn’t been his intention to hurt Yvie, but he had done it anyway by mistake, and Brooke really admired the way Yvie brought it up, sharing his honest emotions and giving Brooke a chance to apologize.

Brooke dumped down on his bed, a deep groan escaping him. He rolled over, looking up at the ceiling, his fingers drumming on his stomach. 

If he had been home, he would have gone for a smoke, but he wasn’t in the mood to be followed around by a production assistant, wasn’t in the mood to make trivial conversations with someone who didn’t matter to him.

Brooke was considering if he should either rub one out, or if it was a sleeping pill night, when something slipped under the door. Brooke sat up, a white piece of paper on the hotel carpet.

_ You okay? _

The note smelled like Vanjie, the words scrawled across the white page, and Brooke felt himself smile. They hadn’t had the time to alk, hadn’t had the time to decompress after the day, or even discuss what it meant that Brooke had invited Vanjie to Aruba, but he was sure that that wasn’t Vanjie’s intent behind the note.

He was simply asking if Brooke was okay, the other man so incredibly considerate and genuine. Brooke had no idea how someone with such a loud mouth could have such a tender heart, but it was one of his favorite things about Vanjie.

  
  


///

Vanjie was walking into the parking lot, a spring in his step. He had spent forever getting his hair just right - his do long overdo for a trip to the barber - but Vanjie felt confident that he looked fucking good.

Silky had somehow scammed his way into his room last night, and Vanjie didn’t really want to know what favors Silky had promised to get it, but he was glad he had.

They had spent the evening sitting on Vanjie’s bed, talking and talking, drinking the prison style sangría Silky had also managed to make, and Vanjie was pretty confident that Silky was feeling okay again.

Vanjie made a turn, the van coming into view, and he couldn’t wait for Brooke to see his outfit. He was wearing a white t-shirt, one of his favorite neckties, a denim jacket and jeans he knew made his ass look fantastic.

Vanjie had figured he’d be the hot one for the day, but as he laid eyes on Brooke, he realised that he had lost the war before the battle had even begun.

Brooke was standing with Yvie, the two of them smoking together, and while Brooke was wearing his stupid ass beanie, he was also in a denim jumpsuit that Vanjie had never seen before.

He knew his man was tall, knew that Brooke had a great chest, delicious, long legs, and great arms, but Vanjie had never seen those arms like this before, the jumpsuit's short sleeves showing off the muscles that tensed as Brooke took another smoke. 

Vanjie couldn’t help but stare, his body flooding with warmth, his fingertips tingling, his stomach like molten lava. 

“Oh!” Brooke spotted Vanjie, a smile blooming on his face as he waved while Vanjie walked over. 

“Morning.” Brooke held his cigarette away, giving Vanjie a quick peck while Yvie rolled his eyes, and Caroline just smiled. 

“You bitch.” Vanjie put his arms around Brooke’s middle, snuggling into his side. Caroline was one of the few assistants who mostly left them alone, which meant that she was one of Vanjie’s favourite ride and dies. 

“What?” Brooke pulled back from the kiss, a confused expression on his face.

“You out here flashing your titas.” Vanjie shot a pointed look towards Brooke’s chest, the open shirt revealing the most perfect pecs. 

“Wha-” Brooke looked down, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. “Shit, I didn’t realise-” Brooke reached up to close the buttons, but Vanjie was faster, his hand already inside, resting on Brooke’s chest.

“This is my last clean clothes."

“I don’t mind.” Vanjie smirked, rubbing Brooke’s nipple with his thumb, their eyes locked. Vanjie got up on his toes, ready for a morning make out session against the van, when a female voice cut in.

“Hands where I can see them boys!”

Vanjie groaned, another one of the assistants entering the scene, and he pulled away from Brooke, whose cheeks were still dusted with red.

///

Brooke had somewhat known that their last challenge of the season would have something to do with filming a music video.

He was excited to dance, Michelle’s promise that they would be expected to perform their best bringing the competitor out in him, which was truly something he needed, since he was running on empty.

He wasn’t as excited for the rapping, but it was hard not to get pulled along when Vanjie was hollering and cheering right next to him, the other man clearly excited.

Brooke knew they were at the last challenge, knew this was their last days of the competition, but he wasn’t sure if he had actually understood it yet.

He hadn’t gone into Drag Race expecting to win, his attitude when he had shown up mostly that he wasn’t interested in making change for a living for the rest of his life, but he was top five now, the possibility of the crown actually within his grasp.

Brooke had three wins under his belt, and while everything he had won was a construction challenge - which was something he would never have been able to predict going in - he still had them, those wins his and his alone. 

As he looked around at his sisters, all of them sitting down with their papers and their music, he couldn’t help but run through how everyone had done. Yvie had won once, but that was a shared one with Scarlett. A’keria had won twice, Silky at the same number, and while Vanjie only had one mini challenge win under his belt, Brooke knew that he had to have stolen the heart of the viewers at home one more time, his personality so bright, his charm so strong, that it might not matter at all to Ru when the top four had to be picked.

///

Vanjie was flying through his verse, everything coming to him with little to no effort, which wasn’t really a feeling he had experienced on Drag Race. 

Vanjie actually felt confident going into the last week's challenge. He had recorded a rap before, he knew Todrick already and liked him well enough, so for once, Vanjie wasn’t worried at all.

At least not for himself.

“ _ Mine’s kind of like, a tribute to Canada. _ ”

The room went silent at Brooke’s words, Vanjie’s jaw dropping. He knew Brooke was white, but it somehow felt like he saw him for the first time.

Who the fuck wrote a rap about Canada? 

Vanjie’s eyes met with A’keria’s across the room, his expression just as shocked and concerned, but Brooke was still talking, the man clearly genuinely excited for whatever he was putting together, and while Vanjie had no idea where it was going, he trusted Brooke to make the decisions that was right for him.

///

_ “Good luck boo.” _

Brooke smiled, Vanjie walking across the room with a spring in his step, his head held high, confidence radiating off of him.

_ “I don’t need luck, I’ma ‘bout to slay this thing.” _

Brooke chuckled, their lips meeting in a kiss. 

“I know you don’t need it-” Brooke whispered, their faces inches from each other, “but have it anyway.” Vanjie chuckled, their lips meeting once last time before he got up and left.

///

“Hey, baby.”

Vanjie looked up from his lunch, the catering staff once again giving them soup, and Vanjie was starting to wonder if Silky’s crunch of the catering table had somehow ruined the budget.

“Hey.” Vanjie titled his head, accepting the kiss that Brooke offered him. Lunch today was yet another rushed affair, he and A’keria the only ones there, but A’keria was still going over his rap, working on it again and again to make it perfect. Brooke had come straight from the recording studio, Silky had been pulled off to do the podcast, while Yvie was doing the day's first round of confessionals.

“I’ve decided-“ Brooke sat down next to him, a bowl of soup in his hand, the other man clearly not affected by the repetitiveness of their meal selection. “That my rapper name is Feminem.”

“What?” Vanjie paused, his bread halfway to his mouth.

“You know,” Brooke waved his spoon, “like Eminem, but female?” He smirked, smugness and pride radiating off of him.

Vanjie couldn’t help but stare. Feminem was the worst thing Vanjie had ever heard, Brooke both acting and looking like a Christian kid who thought MTV was the height of musical sophistication. 

“I’m going to assume you don’t find that funny?” 

“You do?” Vanjie groaned. “What kinda universe you expecting that to be funny in?” He took a bite of his bread, muttering under his breath. “Feminem. The fuck.”

“That’s too bad…” Brooke tapped his spoon against the table. “Because I kinda already told it in confessionals?”

Vanjie snorted, nearly choking on his bread. “America’s gonna love that.”

“Jacqueline didn’t like it either.”

They looked at each other, both of them dissolving into giggles, their exhaustion mixed with the euphoria of still having time together making them act like teenagers.

///

Even if production did everything they could to streamline the process, to make sure that everything happened as quickly as possible, they were still five people with three activities, which meant that avoiding waiting time was impossible. 

Brooke was drinking coffee, Vanjie sipping on a red bull, his legs swung over Brooke’s lap, the two of them sitting on the couch together, enjoying a very, very rare moment of Drag Race down time. 

Silky was the last one to film his confessionals from yesterday - or last week as production constantly asked them to say - Brooke’s sense of time royally screwed up from the fake reality he had spent the last six real life weeks in. 

Brooke took a sip of his coffee, wondering for a moment how fast he’d adjust to his normal life on the outside, the Drag Race experience still in so many ways feeling like he had went to prison.

“Do you think,” Brooke turned towards Vanjie, “on the outside-”

“Yes,” Vanjie replied instantly, kind of surprising Brooke since he hadn’t actually finished his question. 

“Yes?”

“Yes I’ll go on a date with you.”

“Oh…” To say that Brooke was surprised would be an understatement. Vanjie clearly thought that he had meant to ask him about a date, but he also looked so earnest, so excited, that Brooke didn’t want to disappoint him. “Okay.”

Brooke had expected his body to flood with anxiety, had actually predicted that he’d freak out, but somehow he wasn’t afraid of it, the thought of going on a date with Vanjie not that scary at all.

“But you better pull out the nice stuff,” Vanjie sat up, a smile on his lips. “I want lobster.”

“Do you now?” Brooke smirked, and Vanjie nodded.

“Mmh.” Vanjie leaned in even further. “Gotta treat me right.”

Brooke could feel a hand sneak into his jumpsuit, Vanjie somehow going wild for the outfit and he let him, Brooke not even noticing that the buttons on his top was unpopping as he kissed Vanjie, all he could think of the fact that he was so excited to share with Steve that he was going on an actual date with someone he really liked.

///

Vanjie bit his lip as he walked towards Ru and Michelle. They looked glorious and gorgeous, being so close to Ru in drag actually a little intimidating, but Vanjie was excited to talk to them.

_ “Now, we asked Brooke Lynn about your relationship.” _

“Mmh?” Vanjie tried to keep his face natural, tried not to show how desperately he wanted to know everything Brooke had said.

“ _ We were just hanging out, kiking- _ ” Vanjie tried to hide his smile. He could tell Ru and Michelle about the elevator kiss, but he didn’t want to, that moment between him and Brooke. Silky had probed and prodded, had tried to get him to spill the beans on everything, but he stood his ground, his first kiss with Brooke something he didn’t want to tell anyone else until he had shared it with his mom,  _ “- and one thing led to another. _ ”

Vanjie had no idea if Brooke knew how romantic he had found the elevator kiss, but it felt right, felt correct, that Brooke was the one who had taken that first step, just like it felt right that Brooke was the one who had asked him on their first official post Drag Race date.

///

Getting to dance with Vanjie besides him felt amazing. Todrick was good at giving instructions, Brooke easily following along even though the style of dance they were asked to perform wasn’t one he ever really did.

Watching Vanjie perform was a joy, the raw sexual energy of Vanjie, the way he threw himself into everything absolute stunning, and Brooke was very very happy that he had remembered underwear this time, a chubby resting against his thighs inside of his sweats. 

He was absolutely sure that Vanjie was going to kill it, and as Brooke was called on stage while Vanjie was asked to get off, he couldn’t help but leave a compliment behind.

“Good job, baby.”

Brooke could see the happiness in Vanjie’s eyes, and he bumped their shoulders together, Vanjie’s small bitch making him laugh as he walked to the center of the stage.

Doing all the drops, twists and turns went fine, and even though Todrick wasn’t actually all that impressed with Brooke’s ballet approach, he felt reasonably confident that he could do well. 

“You okay?”

“Mmh.” Brooke took a seat next to Vanjie, the next victim going on stage. He appreciated the other man’s concern, and it was true that Todrick hadn’t had that many good things to say about him.

“I’m at least wearing underwear today.” Brooke smiled, A’keria groaning from the seat behind them.

“Shit…” Brooke could see the blush rise in Vanjie’s cheeks, his eyes flashing to Brooke’s crush. “Why you gotta make me think ‘bout your-”

“Bruised nutsack?”

Brooke could still feel the phantom burn from the last time, but that pain was replaced by a very real one as Vanjie hit him, making him laugh.

“Shut you-”

Brooke spread his legs slightly, the move working just as he had intended, Vanjie falling quiet, an audible gulp leaving him as his eyes were glued to him.

Brooke was pretty sure that playing with Vanjie could become his new favorite hobby, riling him up so easy it was almost scary, but Vanjie shook his head, refocusing, not even the sounds of Todrick instructing Silky in the background distracting him. 

“If you worried-” Vanjie looked serious, his voice as low as it could go, Brooke actually straining to hear him over the music on stage. “I can show you.”

“Show me?”

“How to shake that ass.”

“Oh.” Brooke felt touched by the offer, and it was true that Vanjie was a lot better at the more rough hiphop. “Well, thank you.”

“You welcome.”

“But there’s something else I’d much rather do with your ass.” Brooke smirked, and he choked, Brooke putting his hand on Vanjie’s leg.

  
  


///

Vanjie was trying to keep his attention on the stage, but Brooke was playing with a fray in his jeans, his hand pulling on the thread over and over again. Vanjie wasn’t even sure if Brooke was aware that he was doing it, his blue eyes completely focused on A’keria, but Vanjie couldn’t get the image of Brooke doing things to his ass out of his mind. 

He wanted Brooke to do everything to him, kiss him, lick him, spank him, fuck him, the memory of how tempting Brooke’s dick had looked through the grey sweat fabric when he had forgot to wear underwear really not helping Vanjie’s rampid imagination. 

“Fuck-” Vanjie groaned, barely swallowing a moan, Brooke’s fingers basically torture. Brooke looked up, and Vanjie could see on his face that he had genuinely not noticed what he was doing, Brooke looking almost surprised when he saw his own fingers.

“Oh,” Brooke tried to pull back, “sorry,” but Vanjie was too fast.

“I said fuck,” Vanjie put his hand on top of Brooke’s, pulling it back on his leg, “not stop.”

///

Brooke could barely stand on his feet. He was exhausted after a long day of run through, the kicks he did in his part of the number not hard on their own, but when he had to throw his leg over his head again and again and again, as well as carry his whole weight in a pole jump, that shit was really, truly tiring.

Brooke wasn’t too worried about either himself or Vanjie, both of them doing their routines reasonably well, but he could definitely feel the end coming. 

Brooke tightened his grip on Vanjie’s shoulder, his thumb rubbing up and down. They were in the van, Vanjie leaning against his side. The other man was wearing his white hoodie, Vanjie yelling from the top of his lungs that it was cold like a bitch outside since they had left the studio after dark. Brooke had been a bit worried that Vanjie would find his hoodie disgusting since he had worn it all day, but he had simply slipped it on, the sleeves way too long for him.

They had been told to pack up their rooms that evening, everyone checking out and bringing their boy luggage to the studio the next day. 

It was absolutely surreal, the little hotel room that had first felt like a prison cell slowly becoming the one place where Brooke had been able to be himself, and where his more introverted side had had time to recharge. 

“You need your hoodie back?” Vanjie was already pulling at the fabric, trying to take it over his head, the two of them standing on the concrete parking lot. Brooke was sure Vanjie hadn’t actually meant it as a question, his phrasing just weird sometimes, but in that moment, he made a decision.

“Keep it.”

Vanjie looked up at him, a moment of confusion washed away as he blushed, that hopeful, sweet feeling that Brooke got whenever he looked at Vanjie hitting him. 

“You sure?”

Brooke nodded. “I’m sure.”

Vanjie smiled, wrapping his arms around himself, like he had just been given the most precious gift.

///

“You got room for one more?” 

Vanjie bit his lip, a moment of insecurity washing over him as he watched Brooke in the mirror. They had been glued together all morning, and while Vanjie normally preferred getting ready by himself, he couldn’t stand the thought of not spending every minute he could by Brooke’s side.

“You want to sit here?” Brooke pointed to the empty chair next to him, surprise clear in his voice.

“You got a problem with that?” Vanjie felt his flight or fight mode rear its ugly head, Brooke’s words almost sounding like rejection.

“No!” Brooke reached out, touching his arm. “No, not at all.”

Vanjie smiled, the physical touch lovely and reassuring. He took a seat, unpacking his things and getting ready to do his makeup for the last time on the show. 

Vanjie couldn’t believe that they were leaving that afternoon, everything suddenly moving so fast he barely felt like he could follow along.

Vanjie was combing his brows out, when he put his elbow down, accidentally hitting it on a bunch of foundation bottles that he could have sworn wasn’t there a minute ago 

“What the-” Vanjie looked down, a near landfill of Brooke’s things spread everywhere, the countertop that had been clear moments ago now filled with clutter. 

“Ah, sorry-” Brooke pushed the bottle to his own side of the table.

“Damn, you messy.”

“It’s the price you pay for fast.” Brooke smirked. He had already done his eyebrows and foundation, the man going in on his contour. 

“You like this at home too?” Vanjie looked up at Brooke, his speed honestly fascinating to watch. 

“Behave-” Brooke smiled, their eyes meeting in the mirror, “and maybe you’ll find out.” 

Vanjie ducked his head, his cheeks hurting from how much he was smiling, being around Brooke causing him to behave like a schoolgirl, a giggle or a smile always playing on his face. The fact that Brooke had so casually mentioned that he could come visit filled him with warmth, Vanjie already off in the fantasy of them walking Riley together, or maybe even him coming to Nashville and getting to see Brooke’s cats.

Vanjie was bent towards the mirror, working on his brows, when he felt Brooke’s hand run over his back, the broad palm gliding over the fabric of his t-shirt, and Vanjie had to swallow a purr. 

“ _ Branjie. _ ” Vanjie peeked up as Brooke stuttered. He had seen a producer walk over to A’keria out of the corner of his eyes, but he hadn’t actually heard what they talked about.  _ “Is that gonna continue after?” _

_ “If you want it to work, it’ll work.”  _ Vanjie knew that his answer could have been very different, but he felt it in the pit of his stomach, his words said with complete conviction, the fact that he had Brooke’s hoodie in his suitcase making it feel real and like something he could trust.

///

_ “After tonight, only four of you will be going through to the grand finale.” _

///

“ _ But Brooke, something was missing. _ ”

Brooke took a deep breath through her nose, her leg stretched behind her, her back perfectly ballet straight. 

She was listening to the judges critiques, but she could feel her face frozen in place in the expression she had worn at so many recitals where she had been torn apart as well. The years of ballet under her belt the only reason she wasn’t showing an ounce of the emotional ocean that was roaring inside of her as the judges found every little flaw they could.

“ _ I’m sorry. _ ”

///

_ “But it bummed me out to see you not kill it.” _

Vanjie felt Ross’s words like a punch to the gut. She had worked so hard to impress, and even though she had given everything she could, even though she had fought, it seemed like that wasn’t enough.

///

Brooke had known it was coming, but it had still been surreal to see a baby photo of herself, everyone going down the line. 

“ _ Vanjie, what advice do you have for six year old Jose? _ ”

Brooke snorted, a laugh forcing it way through her throat. Vanjie looked perfect in the photo, his smile as bright as it was now, his hair parted in the middle, and if Brooke hadn’t known any better she could have been told it was from a children's catalog, Anabell clearly pulling out all the stops to make her babies look just right for the family photos.

///

Vanjie had barely even made it down from the main stage, before she felt Brooke grab her elbow. “Are you okay?” Brooke’s voice was filled with concern, and if Vanjie was optimistic, genuine care just underneath. 

“Are you?” Vanjie smiled, but she could see that Brooke knew it didn’t reach her eyes. 

“You know it’s us right?”

Vanjie felt the air get punched from her lungs. She hoped it was her and Silky, even though that felt horrible to even think about, but from the look on Brooke’s face, she was completely serious.

“Maybe."

“It’s going to be you and me, they want that storyline, everything else doesn’t make sense-”

Vanjie swallowed, Brooke’s words hitting her hard.

“I needa loosen this dress.”

Brooke released her like she had been burned, like she was scared she was overstepping, but Vanjie didn’t ever want Brooke to stop touching her, the sure grip on her elbow centering her better than she had been able to herself.

“I didn’t say your ass couldn’t come.”

  
  


///

“ _ I know I’m in the bottom, _ ” It pained Brooke to hear the dejection in Vanjie’s voice, pained her to hear that the man she cared so much for not sounding like herself. “ _ , I don’t know with quite who _ .”

“ _ Girl, you can’t be serious _ ,” Brooke groaned. 

_ “You think?” _ Vanjie’s face was filled with disbelief, and Brooke felt another flash of annoyance in her chest, the somewhat naive part of Vanjie not adorable or sweet at all when it was their heads on the chopping block.

_ “Yes!”  _ Brooke wasn’t stupid.

_ “But you always think it’s you.”  _ Vanjie smiled, and if it had been any other week, Brooke would have wanted to kiss it off her face.

_ “Did you hear my critique? _ ” All five of them had been there for the critiques, and they had all heard the judges rip her to shreds.

Brooke regretted the words the moment they left her lips, Vanjie’s entire face falling.  _ “Yeah…” _

_ “I mean, out of the five of us, you all have such big, amazing personalities-” _ Brooke could feel anxiety clawing in her throat, the constant throb of not being good enough working up to a steady beat, 

///

_ “-and this is not me, I just don’t have a huge crazy personality.” _

Vanjie had never wanted to slap Brooke more than in that moment. Brooke was sitting on the couch, one of the most funny, sharp, strange and interesting people she had ever met, and she was talking herself down like she was an Olympian competing in her favored sport.

“ _ I’m just pretty, and I can’t dance. _ ”

Vanjie had to get up, had to leave, tears threatening to spill from her eyes since she refused to give up without a fight, refused to let the dreams of a man she had only known for two months come before her own. Even though she clung to that, even though she knew she was a fighter, it hurt her heart to see Brooke like that.

Vanjie wasn’t going home without giving it her all, and to do that, she had to listen to the lip sync song.

///

“ _ So you guys both, Brooke and Vanjie, both think it’s you. Like you’re sold on it being you two? _ ”

Brooke watched Vanjie’s expression as Yvie talked, the other going through her tote to pull out her iPod.

“ _ I feel like for sure, I’m in the bottom. _ ” Brooke hated that Vanjie felt that way, but it was also a reality. “ _ It could be me and Brooke or me and Silk. Just ‘cause she got a little bit of negative, that’s the why I would say it. _ ”

“ _ I think it’s me and Vanj.”  _ Brooke took a breath through her nose. _ “For sure. _ ”

Brooke had tuned out of A’keria and Yvie’s conversation, not really listening as she fiddled with the edge of her skirt, running through the lyrics in her head. She knew the song, knew she could put a spin on it, but she couldn’t help running through it over and over again in her head, even the idea of putting headphones in overloading the part of her brain that tried to hold her together.

“Vanjie, Brooke Lynn-”

Brooke looked up at the sound of Silky saying her name.

“If you have to lipsync against each other tonight, how does that make y’all feel? You know. For real for real.” Silky clearly looked uncomfortable, the producers asking her to, and that was the one part of Drag Race Brooke really, really, really wasn’t going to miss, pouring out her soul and her past whenever it befitted the cameras something she was beyond sick of.

“ _ Girl, you gotta do what you gotta do. _ ” Brooke felt a flash of pride at Vanjie’s answer. “ _ What you mean? _ ”

  
  


///

“ _ Regardless of what happens, we know it’s not personal. _ ”

“ _ It’s neither of our faults, whatever happens. _ ” The Untucked was the strangest thing Brooke had ever experienced. She felt like she was in play where she didn’t know her lines, where she hadn’t had a chance to rehearse at all. She could see it on Vanjie’s face, knew the expression was mirrored on her own.

They had had their talks about the competition, Vanjie telling her in no uncertain terms, before they had even defined what they were, that she was here to fight for herself, that she wasn’t going to let go of her dream without giving everything she had, and Brooke respected that so much.

Their talk on the couches felt like a performance for the fans, something to make sure that the audience also heard where they were coming from, because Brooke knew that she was going to do everything she could on that stage to guarantee that she wasn’t the one who was going home.

///

Vanjie was practicing her lip sync at the back of the Untucked space, going over her expressions in the mirror, doing everything she could to make sure she was showing every single emotion that was in the song.

Brooke was pacing behind her, murmuring to herself, and it would have been a jarring experience if Vanjie hadn’t seen the movement of Brooke’s lips, the other going over the song too, both of them practising side by side.

_ “You know I think you’re amazing.” _

_ “I think you’re amazing.” _ Brooke smiled, and Vanjie felt warm. They were sitting by the mirror, Brooke’s feet between her. She loved how Brooke made her feel like she could do anything, even though Vanjie saw the same storm she felt in herself brewing behind those blue eyes.

_ “Just have fun out there.”  _

Brooke wrapped her big bulky ballet shoe around Vanjie’s ankle, their feet the only thing that the camera wasn’t focused on, and Vanjie smiled, Brooke’s support right there.

///

“ _ Miss Vanjie, I’m sorry my dear, but you are up for elimination." _

“ _ Silky Nutmeg Ganache. Con-drag-ulations. You’re moving on to the grand finale _ .”

“Shit,” Vanjie whispered under her breath. This was it. This was real. 

She and Brooke were the last two standing, and now, she had to give it her all.

Both for herself, but also for Brooke, who deserved nothing but her best.

///

“ _ Brooke Lynn Hytes. Shantay, you stay. _ ”

It was over. 

Brooke had won, she had won, and she was going to the finale, the Drag Race crown still within her reach.

_ “Thank you so much.”  _

Brooke turned to Vanjie, her heart breaking as she saw the expression on the other one's face. 

She could see that Vanjie was hurt, and even though she knew she had to move to the back of the stage, she held out her arms, catching Vanjie’s face in her hands as she kissed her one, two, three times, lips trying to tell the wonderful, amazing, insane, fantastic person in her arms that she had done so well, and that Brooke liked her so very, very much.

Some part of Brooke knew that they’d see each other soon, that Drag Race was ending that very day, and it was that knowledge, and that knowledge alone, that kept her together, even though Yvie grabbed her, holding her tight, as soon as she made it to the back of the stage, the sorrow at the fact that Vanjie was no longer in the competition showing on her face for a minute.

///

Production had told them to pack their things up before going to the main stage, and Vanjie was of course the only one who hadn’t listened, his drag only half packed.

It was strange to leave again, to know that he wasn’t going to the finale. He was sad, but he was also so happy and even triumphant that he had managed to do a good exit. He had left to the sounds of everyone laughing, his last memories of Brooke a face with a smile, A’keria's and Yvie’s loud laughs following her as she walked away.

“I have your notes from everyone.”

“Shit…” Vanjie took the stack from the assistant. He hadn’t actually expected any, since they’d all be let out that very day, but as he got them in his hand, he was so happy they were there.

He had received pages upon pages from Silky, the first note in the stack from A’keria, and there was even one from Yvie, the love from his sisters almost forcing tears to fall from his eyes. 

There were long letters from everyone. Everyone except Brooke.

He had saved Brooke’s note for last, the thing only a single piece of paper, and while Vanjie had hoped he’d be left alone, the camera was still there, filming over his shoulder.

Vanjie had no idea why there was only a single piece of paper, worry and excitement swirling inside of him. He opened it, praying that it was some cute shit, but as he actually looked at the page, it was blank except for a single black line.

All Brooke had given him was his phone number, the digits all there one after the other.

Vanjie hadn’t even realised he was crying until he saw the tears hit the paper.

The note was the most Brooke thing he had ever seen, the numbers somehow meaning so much more than anything Brooke could have ever said in words.

“That fucking idiot.” Vanjie smiled through his tears, holding the letter to his chest.

Their fairytale had ended for now, and he couldn’t wait for their adventure to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read along. It has taken me a little over 6 months to finish this, but I'm so glad I started on this giant task. It's been frustrating, romantic, real cringe (Snatch Game, I'm looking at you) but most of all really really fun to create this beginning for our stupid boys in a world that could have been.
> 
> I appreciate all of the comments I have received, and I hope all of you will continue to come on this journey with me.
> 
> Thank you.


End file.
